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The ‘ole lady and I got into another “discussion”. So what else is new you may ask. And what does that have to do with football you may ask also. Well here it is. My 2006-2007 Rams Cheerleaders calendar had arrived and I didn’t want to point out to her that I’d rather have any of the 30 ewes as a photo on my desk so I changed the subject.

Conveniently, the Rams had just acquired Stephen Davis. And then they followed that up shortly thereafter by trading for Adam Goldberg. Well there was a rant in there and I thought I’d use it to keep the ‘ole lady off my back about the cheerleaders. Here is what I remember about the exchange.

Me: “Can you believe that frikkin’ FO again?” I bellowed, while shuffling the calendar under a stack of emptied tins.”

Her: “What are you whining about today, she asked disdainfully.”

Me: Feeling guilty that some beer backwash was dripping on the cover, I lurched towards the pile with my t-shirt in hand – all the while griping that it made no sense to me why the FO would sign Fisher, Williams, and Russell – keep them all camp long and then go out and sign Davis despite not seeing any recent footage of him. I belched something about “Doesn’t the FO know how to evaluate talent before they sign someone?”

Her: Of course she knew I was just trying to distract her from one of my stupid antics again, but she decided to humor me anyway and remarked: “Look mash-breath, the FO is trying to put the best team on the field and if they decide that someone isn’t working out, they shouldn’t hesitate to replace him with someone better suited.”

Me: Mash-breath? I wasn’t going to let her derail me with personal insults, so I pressed ahead. “For cryin’ outloud. Dey has had all of offseason to see that Sapia-what-his-name couldn’t plug a gap without fallin’ over his own three feet. Did dey really have to wait to da end of the preseason before they brought in someone we haven’t had time to criticize yet?”

Her: “Look thimble-wit, maybe Saipaia suffered some niggling injury and wasn’t going to be the contributor the FO hoped for at the beginning. You can’t expect the team to stick with him just because he was on the roster for a while.”

Me: I had her now. “You’ve stuck with me all this time and I’ve been on the roster for some time. I don’t see you bringing in new talent at the last minute.”

Her: “Well, if you’d get your beady eyes out of the girlie calendars, you’d see that the FO always is going to know better than you and that a 12” fryin’ pan learns a man much more than bringin’ another man around.”

Whack. Thud.

And that was how another preseason ended.