[RamsFanSam]

Adarian, I guess I'll have to teach you how to deal with women.

You see, women LIKE to be treated like a woman should be treated. So, here's my advice:

1. Gently remind her that football is something most women can't grasp, and that she should stay quiet, allow you to enjoy your calendar, and her job is to bring you beer while doing so.

2. Obviously, she is mixed up on the proper use of frying pans. Go to a used book store, and find her some old (1940's and '50's era) books on homemaking and cooking. She will be pleased.

3. Instead of roses, surprise her with more practical gifts. You will not believe the emotions she will display when you bring her home a new broom and dustpan, or a new iron!

4. Most women love shoes for some reason. Take her shoe shopping. Buy her a nice, comfortable pair of running shoes. This way, her feet won't hurt after running to the kitchen to get you beer during the game!

5. I'd bet your wife has some nice clothes. Surely, you wouldn't want her to ruin those clothes, so buy her an apron to wear when she's cleaning and cooking.

6. Let the poor woman have her enjoyment while you are watching the game. Don't interrupt her (except to request another beer) for the three hours the game is on, and she will be able to get all of those dishes washed by hand. What a nice way for you to let her know you want her to feel like a woman!

7. Never forget to help your woman out around the house. After spending all day cooking and cleaning, she's bound to forget something, or make a mistake. Give her suggestions to help her out. Tell her how to improve her cooking, and remind her what she forgot to clean. She will be so thankful for your suggestions.

So, Adarian, if you take my advice, you won't be seeing the little woman acting the same way ever again. I guarantee it. I speak from experience. Who better to take marital advice from than me? I have 3 ex-wives, so I should know what women like, right?