[AvengerRam]

Bill: “Okay. Let’s see what’s going on over at ClanRam today…”

<beep>

Bill: “Yes, Janice?”

Janice: “I have Scott Linehan on Line 1.”

Bill: “Okay. Put him through. Scott? Hey, what’s going on? No, I don’t think Antonio Gates is available by trade. Well sure, I could ask, but-- what? No, I don’t think we should trade for Jeremy Shockey. Look, Scott, I’m kind of busy. Can we talk later? Okay… okay… yeah, love you too, man.”

<knock knock>

Bill: “Yes?”

Jay: “Hey, Bill. Can we talk?”

Bill: “Sure, Ziggy. I always have time for you.”

Jay: “Listen, I have this thought. If we cut Torry Holt, Orlando Pace and Leonard Little, we can save a lot of cap space. Plus, we won’t have hear about the good old days any more, since we’d have no more of those Super Bowl players.”

Bill: “Okay, but who will play WR, OT and DE?”

Jay: “Does that matter?”

Bill: “Let me think about it, okay?”

Jay: “Alright. I’m going to go take John Shaw out for some sun.”

Bill: “Great. If he’s good, you can buy him an Orange Julius.”

Jay: “Kids size, right? Those large ones are pretty pricey.”

Bill: “Whatever.”

<beep>

Janice: “I have Scott Linehan again.”

Bill: “Yes, Scott… um, no, I don’t think Dallas Clark is available. Look, I’m very busy and… what? Something else? Okay, what is it? Well, I’m sure he was a great camp counselor when you were 11, but I don’t know that we need another assistant coach. Okay? We’ll talk later, gotta go.”

<beep>

Janice: “Bernie Miklasz on Line 2.”

Bill: “Yes, Bernie. Okay, but make it quick. No, I’m not planning on trading Steven Jackson, why? Well, there are a lot of rumors going around, do I really have to respond to all of them? Look, can we do this later --- what? Do I think that Trent Green will challenge Marc Bulger for his starting spot? Not unless Bulger breaks his arm. Look, I understand that you can’t think of anything to write about. That’s not really my problem, though. Okay? Bye.”

<beep>

Janice: “You know who on Line 1 again.”

Bill: “NO SCOTT, WE’RE NOT GOING TO SIGN DAVE CASPER!!!! BECAUSE HE’S RETIRED!!!! PLEASE STOP ASKING ABOUT THIS!!!”

<knock knock>

Bill: “WHAT!!!?!?!?!”

Tony: “Is this a bad time?”

Bill: “No, Softli. What is is?”

Tony: “Anything I should be doing today?”

Bill: “Um… yeah… go and, I don’t know… see if you can attend the South Dakota State Pro Day.”

Tony: “Is there someone we are scouting there.”

Bill: “As far as you know.”

Tony: “Okay! I’m your man! See ya!”

Bill: “Could be worse… at least none of my players are on trial for dog fighting.”