[Goldenfleece]

Now you, too, can grade like the pros!

When grading a draft, the first thing you must do is look at who is doing the drafting. It is important to make sure that you find teams that have had winning records over several seasons and make sure to give them good grades. The Patriots get an "A" even if they pass on every pick because Bill Belichick is a "genius" who always knows what he is doing. Downgrade every Ravens' pick on offense--especially if they take a quarterback because the last Baltimore quarterback worth his contract was Johnny U. On the other hand praise any defensive player the Ravens take because they almost always pan out. The Chargers and Colts get good grades, and so does whatever team won the Super Bowl. The team picking first overall should usually get a good grade not because they did a good job but because most anyone they pick will fill a need. The exception is if they take someone you didn't predict with their first pick; that makes you look bad for not being able to guess the one choice that doesn't depend on what other teams do. If that happens, you have to lambaste every pick afterwards to make them look totally incompetent (and save your own reputation). Ditto anyone else who pulls a move counter to what you previously claimed was a sure thing.

Next, pick a few teams to make into laughingstocks. The Redskins are a prime choice because they tend to build more through trades and free agency than through solid drafting. Perennial underachievers like the Browns, Saints, and Falcons are easy targets. It helps if you label their front office dysfunctional. Then everybody who isn't a fan of the team thinks you know all about the inner workings of the team's management.

If a team proved you wrong last year, reverse your opinion this year. Give everyone who does not fall into one of the previous categories a "C". Finally, add a plus or minus to your grades based on whether you see any of your favorite players, players from your alma mater, or players you hate from a college rival on their draft list.