ASK BERNIE: A new ClanRam exclusive!

[AvengerRam]

Why are some of you guys asking this clown serious questions?

If I create a new account with the name SSpags would you guys think I was actually him? Talk about gullible...

I see your point but, then again, how do we know you're really Scott?


As for my question to Bernie... I've been trying to come up with a really good one since he started this thread. I've literally been walking around muttering various questions out loud to hear how they sound, as I want to make sure I ask the right one.

I don't know why, but whenever I try to talk to Bernie it always seems like I end up sort of just talking to myself.

[thoey]

Nice job AV. I'd rep you, but I haven't been able to rep anyone in a while. Browser / page issue I guess.

[ScottD413]

Dear Spags,

Bagels, donuts, or bagel/donut sandwich like Bernie?

Joe

I prefer muffins. Muffins wrapped in roast beef.

[MoonJoe]

Mmmmm, cornbread muffins!

[Roy G. Biv]

Why are some of you guys asking this clown serious questions?

If I create a new account with the name SSpags would you guys think I was actually him? Talk about gullible...

Lighten up Francis. It's just a joke. Nobody actually thought this was the morbidly obese attention ho from the Post Dispatch.

[EvilXenu]

Bernie,

With the Cardinals having a commanding lead in their division (lead by the likely Cy Young winner and MVP) and the Rams finally past the controversies and power struggles of the Linehan regime, it must be hard for you to find topics to write about. Isn't it about time for you to try to stir things up and manufacture a story?

[BernieM]

Bernie,

With the Cardinals having a commanding lead in their division (lead by the likely Cy Young winner and MVP) and the Rams finally past the controversies and power struggles of the Linehan regime, it must be hard for you to find topics to write about. Isn't it about time for you to try to stir things up and manufacture a story?

You underestimate me. I'm already planning a five-part series about how the the Rams will be sold and the new owner will likely replace Spagnuolo with Mike Martz.

[AvengerRam]

You underestimate me. I'm already planning a five-part series about how the the Rams will be sold and the new owner will likely replace Spagnuolo with Mike Martz.

Well, Bernie, I guess we'll have to wait for that one, but I see you did manage to find a way to put a negative spin on the start of the Rams season... RIGHT ON CUE!

Tough lineup for the Rams to try to crack
Bernie Miklasz bjmiklasz@post-dispatch.com 314-340-8192
ST. LOUIS POST-DISPATCH
Thursday, Sep. 10 2009
The Rams open their 2009 season at Seattle on Sunday. It's not an easy time for
a franchise that needs to increase its visibility under the spotlight. The
local sports scene is bustling and thriving with feel-good stories.

The Cardinals are a runaway train. They're led by Albert Pujols, the best
player in the big leagues. They've been joined by Matt Holliday, who might be
the best hitter in baseball since coming to the Cardinals on July 24. And there
are two legitimate Cy Young award candidates in Chris Carpenter and Adam
Wainwright. The Cardinals are a tradition-rich franchise, loaded with an
abundance of iconic star power. And the town is going crazy with anticipation
of another postseason run and a shot at an 11th World Series championship.

The Blues report to training camp Saturday, and it's almost time for more
parties and good times at Scottrade Center. The Blues were the darlings of the
town last spring, when they barreled into the Stanley Cup playoffs ahead of
schedule. The franchise was revitalized. Fans are wild about all of the
charismatic young stars — firebrands such as T.J. Oshie, Patrik Berglund, David
Perron and Erik Johnson. Blues tickets are selling fast; fans can't wait for
the encore presentation. They can't wait to watch these kids grow and lead the
Blues to a deeper run in the NHL postseason.

And there's the football team at Missouri: back in the Top 25 after routing
Illinois by 28 points in the season opener. And MU quarterback Blaine Gabbert
is the new rock star on the sports stage.

So how do the Rams fit in?

Well, they have to find a way to make room for themselves in a crowded,
star-studded sports theater. And it's going to be a tough job, a tough sell.

Let's take a look:

— No. 1, the team is 5-27 in the last two seasons. That's a buzzkill. Even
though ownership fulfilled the promised changes and set up a new football
operation, the damage won't be fully repaired until the Rams start winning some
games. Or, short of that, putting an entertaining and competitive team on the
field to give fans something positive to cling to during rebuilding. The Edward
Jones Dome has been modified and enhanced to a point, but the place won't have
an exciting atmosphere without good football. In a bad economy, losing teams
have to work even harder for the sports dollar.

— The team is for sale, which creates fear, anxiety and a "what's the point"
mentality. I don't believe the Rams will move, and they're guaranteed to be
here through 2014. But St. Louis has been beaten down by the NFL. Losing the
Cardinals. Being told to build a new stadium, and doing it — only to lose out
on the bid for expansion teams that went to Carolina and Jacksonville. Then
luring the Rams here at great cost, only to be told, less than 15 years later,
that the stadium is inadequate. People can only take so much, though the
1999-2001 "Greatest Show" years were a fabulous if brief respite from the
demoralizing beatdowns.

— Where are the stars? The stars can sell tickets and inspire loyalty. So who
does that for the Rams? The general sporting public doesn't have much fondness
for quarterback Marc Bulger. Running back Steven Jackson has been among the
NFL's most productive backs over the last three seasons, but the fans haven't
warmed up to SJ39. Defensive end Chris Long could become a star; same with
middle linebacker James Laurinaitis. They're young, though. They're just
getting started. Safety O.J. Atogwe could rise to the star level, soon. But as
of now, the Rams don't have anything close to a Pujols, Holliday, Carpenter,
Wainwright, Oshie, E. Johnson or Gabbert.

— The nature of the NFL hurts the Rams' attempts at image building. Coach Steve
Spagnuolo and general manager Billy Devaney are good guys. There's no villain
at Rams Park. But the NFL has become a control-freak league, a paranoid league,
a secretive league. And the Rams are following the norm by doing what most
other teams do: put up walls.

I personally don't care, because I write opinions for a living. I don't feel an
urge to watch practices or to make small talk with players. But I do know this:
From a public-relations standpoint, the Rams should be doing everything within
reason to tear down the walls and promote a friendly image. The organization
doesn't help its plight with closed practices and tight restrictions on access
to coaches and players. It sends out a negative, stay-away vibe.

Compared to the media-friendly, fan-friendly Blues and Cardinals, and given the
generous media access to those teams, the Rams are only hurting themselves, and
I think that's unfortunate.

Good luck to the Rams. I hope they can give the Cardinals, Blues and Mizzou a
run for the money. And I hope that the people who run the franchise realize
what they're up against.

Its pretty amusing that you whine about not having unlimited access, then claim not to care one way or another.

Of course you care. Without access to the team, the only thing that distinguishes you from the average blogger is 150 lbs of blubber.

Still, it was nice of you to come here and answer questions.

Oh... and you should thank EvilXenu for the story idea.

[laram0]

Hi Bernie,

Where would you rank our linebacking crew (Witherspoon, Laurinitis, Draft) vs. the rest of the NFL?

Thanks,

[BernieM]

Hi Bernie,

Where would you rank our linebacking crew (Witherspoon, Laurinitis, Draft) vs. the rest of the NFL?

Thanks,

Its hard to say, given that Laurinaitis is a rookie and Witherspoon is moving to a new position, but the real key here is Draft. He is the lynchpin that holds together the entire defense. Frankly, if there is one guy on the team that the Rams can't afford to lose, its Draft.

[ScottD413]

Its hard to say, given that Laurinaitis is a rookie and Witherspoon is moving to a new position, but the real key here is Draft. He is the lynchpin that holds together the entire defense. Frankly, if there is one guy on the team that the Rams can't afford to lose, its Draft.

lol!!!!!!

[rammiser]

Jabba The Miklasz,

Do you find it more difficult to work your way through that two dozen doughnuts you stuff in your pie hole everyday, or coming up with an original thought?

[mikhal5569]

Hi Bernie.

Why did the Rams release Chris Draft?

[BernieM]

Jabba The Miklasz,

Do you find it more difficult to work your way through that two dozen doughnuts you stuff in your pie hole everyday, or coming up with an original thought?

Two dozen? I haven't had that few since I was on the (modified) Atkins diet.

As for original thoughts... I.... um.... well.... not.... hard.... come up with.... um....

Sez you!

[BernieM]

Hi Bernie.

Why did the Rams release Chris Draft?

The Rams are working out a lucrative sponsorship deal with Anheuser Bush and they were concerned that Chris' name is too closely associated with Miller Genuine Draft.