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Thread: Bernie Goes Trolling: Rams Should Draft Manziel

  1. #1
    r8rh8rmike's Avatar
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    Bernie Goes Trolling: Rams Should Draft Manziel

    Bernie goes trolling: Rams should draft Manziel

    4 hours ago • Bernie Miklasz bjmiklasz@post-dispatch.com

    Today I am going to be an Internet troll.

    That's always been part of my dark side, anyway.

    Why else did I volunteer to host an online forum (Bernie's Press Box) more than a dozen years ago? No so-called mainstream sports columnist in America was loony enough to do that. But I went for it. I was way ahead of my time.

    I knew this was my way of feeding my inner troll. And that's important for mental health. I'm so damned pragmatic, every now and then it feels good to just cut loose.

    Other columnists and sportswriters enjoy trolling fans on Twitter, but that's too easy. I insist on putting in more effort than that. Besides, Twitter doesn't pay us to offer opinions — the Post-Dispatch does — so why save our most provocative trolling work for Twitter?

    So when the spirit moves me on a pertinent topic I will feed the trolls — and myself — by proposing an idea or a plan that's largely detached from reality and has little or no chance of happening.

    And yet — here's the interesting part — the opinion will make sense on a certain level. It isn't completely displaced from sanity. And I am not rabid-bat crazy for for stating it. There's at least a slice of merit, a sliver of reality, contained in the view.

    Without additional babbling, here's my first“Feeding My Inner Troll” segment here on STLtoday.com.

    Today's Topic:

    The Rams should draft Texas A&M quarterback Johnny Manziel at No. 2 overall.

    For the most part, this is a boring Rams team with little personality.

    The defense has some zest. Defensive end Robert Quinn and Chris Long certainly have charisma. And young linebacker Alec Ogletree plays the game with flair. The defense isn't boring.

    Really, most of the problem is on the offensive side. The Rams require an infusion of excitement, a blast of pizazz, a jumbo serving of sizzle, and someone that can team with Tavon Austin to give this group some swag.

    In a larger sense, the Rams need to fire up a worn-down fan base that's been pounded by losing football, bad football, and dull football.

    You want to sell some tickets? You want to increase marketing revenue? You want to generate momentum for a new stadium? You want to create buzz?

    Well, if the Rams want to get back in the game and have the local NFL team become something more than a distraction from the most popular winter enterprise — the baseball offseason — then Manziel is the guy.

    The arrival of Johnny Football would amp this tired franchise in a way that hasn't happened in many years, since the Greatest Show on Turf was closed down.

    The Rams got a shot of energy by drafting quarterback Sam Bradford No. 1 overall in 2010, but let's be honest here: Sam is a good man and a dedicated athlete, but he is safe and cautious and has the personality of an accountant. (My apologies to all of the accountants out there, especially my outstanding tax man, Joe.)

    Imagine Johnny Football running around, making plays, hooking up with Tavon, barking at opponents, getting in the face of yapping Seattle cornerback Richard Sherman, defiantly snarling at ***** linebacker Patrick Willis, inspiring his teammates, pumping his fists, rallying fans, and reawakening the snoozy setting at the Edward Jones Dome?

    “They should call him ‘Johnny Magic Man,’ instead of ‘Johnny Football’ with the way he gets things done,’’ said Gil Brandt, who drafted and signed so many great players for the Tom Landry-era Dallas Cowboys. “If I were drafting, I would make him a top-five pick, because I know what he can do.”

    The Rams could use a little magic, no?

    If you think that Manziel has the wrong style and is a poor fit for a Jeff Fisher-coached team, then you obviously haven't paid attention.

    Fisher does not hesitate to draft oversized personalities who bring an abundance of cockiness to the mix.

    This, after all, is the coach who coveted cornerback Janoris Jenkins when many NFL teams had questions about his personal character. Fisher has always liked having edgy players … players with huge egos … players with attitudes. Players with flamboyance.

    This, after all, is the coach who really has no problem with his players piling up penalties for personal fouls and unsportsmanlike conduct.

    And the style? Please.

    The best quarterback Fisher ever had was Steve McNair, who could beat you with his arm, with his running ability, and with his keen instincts for improvisation.

    Manziel's mobility is an obvious asset. Manziel would become Fisher's answer to the two versatile, hard-to-defend quarterbacks in the NFC West: San Francisco's Colin Kaepernick and Seattle's Russell Wilson.

    No one can challenge Manziel's prolific production at Texas A&M. In two seasons he amassed just under 10,000 combined passing-rushing yards. He threw for 63 touchdowns and ran for 30. The Aggies went 20-6 in Manziel's two seasons after going 33-31 in the five previous seasons.

    As Brandt told the New York Post: “He’s a guy that everybody wants to say he can’t do it. The guy took a football team at Texas A&M that was average at best and he transformed the program.”

    Brandt passed along an evaluation from a college coach who scouted Manziel in high school. “ 'He's got to stretch to be 6-foot. He’s got to turn up the heat to run a 4.5 and he doesn’t throw the prettiest spiral, but all he does is win.’ ’’

    The New York Post asked ESPN analyst Trent Dilfer to assess Manziel.

    “Watching his game tape, the only quarterback I can compare him to from an instinct standpoint is Brett Favre,’’ Dilfer said. “Johnny Manziel has eyes in the back of his head. He flat-out sees stuff that other people don’t see and that’s one of the reasons why he’s special.’’

    After ESPN draft analyst Mel Kiper compared Manziel to Pro Football Hall of Fame quarterback Fran Tarkenton, the old scrambling QB went on Twitter to offer an endorsement.

    “Manziel is a football savant. Can’t teach what he does,” Tarkenton wrote. He added: “This guy is the real deal. He will be a big time player on Sundays.”

    Gee, now why would the Rams want a quarterback that's being compared to Favre and Tarkenton?

    Will the Rams draft Manziel at No. 2 overall?

    Of course not.

    First of all, offensive coordinator Brian Schottenheimer would have no idea what to do with Manziel.

    Schottenheimer couldn't come up with ways to free the electric Austin. The Rams spent a fortune on flex tight end Jared Cook, and Schotty didn't fully utilize him. Young wide receivers Chris Givens and Brian Quick aren't developing quickly under this coaching staff.

    Having Manziel as the QB would cause Schottenheimer to break out hives.

    Schottenheimer and Manziel?

    Now THERE is your bad fit.

    Ah, but Manziel can help the Rams, anyway.

    A few QB-needy teams are eyeing Manziel, and if the Rams are smart, they'll exploit the interest.

    It was a strategical error for GM Les Snead to come out and say the Rams wouldn't be taking a quarterback at No. 2 overall. But he can correct that.

    The shrewd play for the Rams: create nervousness among the teams that covet Manziel. Make it known that you might take him — even if you aren't going to take him. Stir the pot, get them anxious, and see if you can cash in the No. 2 overall pick for additional draft choices.

    If the Rams are content to have the fourth-best quarterback in the four-team NFC and decline to draft the best playmaker in the draft ... then they should at least try to get other teams to make a play for Manziel.

    That's it from here.

    I.T. (that's Internet Troll) … signing out.

    — Bernie


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    Re: Bernie Goes Trolling: Rams Should Draft Manziel

    Quote Originally Posted by Bernie
    Today I am going to be an Internet troll.
    Today?? That's funny.

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    That's right, Bernie... it's all about you.

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    Re: Bernie Goes Trolling: Rams Should Draft Manziel

    Twitter doesn't pay us to offer opinions — the Post-Dispatch does — so why save our most provocative trolling work for Twitter?
    This is what I have always said about this guy. All he is about is trying to get a rise out of Rams fans.

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    Re: Bernie Goes Trolling: Rams Should Draft Manziel

    You can't directly tell people you're trolling. What a fail attempt at being a troll.
    Randart likes this.

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    Re: Bernie Goes Trolling: Rams Should Draft Manziel

    Quote Originally Posted by RockinRam View Post
    You can't directly tell people you're trolling. What a fail attempt at being a troll.
    You can! If it is a sneaky attempt to cover up that you have been trolling all along!

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    Re: Bernie Goes Trolling: Rams Should Draft Manziel

    No doubt Manziel had an outstanding college career, but I have reservations about his ability to be a star at the next level. I could be completely wrong, but this isn't a gamble I'd be prepared to take.

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    Re: Bernie Goes Trolling: Rams Should Draft Manziel

    Chance that the Rams take Johnny Manziel with the second pick in the draft: 0%

    Chance that Bernie will continue to direct his commentary to the lunatic fringe that makes the PD's "Rams Talk" board the worst example of an internet sports forum: 100%

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    Re: Bernie Goes Trolling: Rams Should Draft Manziel

    Bernie had me at hello, LoL! I already like Johnny Football alllot! Some few of us have suggested taking him as a backup for Sammy. If he was available beyond our first pick, but taking him at number 2 is not what most of us wanted even we Manziel fans. I like the comparison to Francis T. but I don't see him as a Favre kinda guy. But some few have compared him to god forbid it... Joey Montana! I remember when Joe came out of ND college and many doubted his size and arm just like Johnny... Joey did ok put together a nice little career. I think Johnny if he keeps his head on straight and can stay healthy could as well. And Bernie is correct he is a lighting bug in a jar for excitement... flashy and brashy! It is a fun day dream even if it never happens.

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    So let me get this straight.....Bernie is getting paid for this?
    Rambos and FestusRam like this.

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    Re: Bernie Goes Trolling: Rams Should Draft Manziel

    Zest?? Who gives a rats whoot about zest, the rams can be as bland as they want. Just win baby!

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    Re: Bernie Goes Trolling: Rams Should Draft Manziel

    Can we trade Bernie for someone more useful? Maybe another janitor to clean the urinals at the EJD? I think that would be a great value trade...

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    Re: Bernie Goes Trolling: Rams Should Draft Manziel

    Bernie's next article:

    "Rams Should Sign Tebow, T.O., and Randy Moss"

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    Re: Bernie Goes Trolling: Rams Should Draft Manziel

    The only thing the Rams need an infusion of is WINS. Excitement without wins means nothing. Energizing the fan base is just a stupid comment because all a coach and gm are going to draft for on a kroenke team is winning.

    ramming speed to all

    general counsel


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    Re: Bernie Goes Trolling: Rams Should Draft Manziel

    I can see it now: Johnny Football doing his money taunt to Patrick Willis after running in a TD. Next drive his block gets taken off and out for the year.

    Quote Originally Posted by AvengerRam View Post
    Bernie's next article:

    "Rams Should Sign Tebow, T.O., and Randy Moss"

    I think it would be a great idea to sign T.O....to be an assistant WR coach or something. He has worked with Quick and a few of our Wrs the past year or so I believe. Wouldn't hurt to have him dedicate more time to teaching Quick / Cook / Austin / Bailey on how to be more physical and to get open. And i'm sure it would be cheap.

    Having Holt, Bruce, and Owens teaching your Wr corps can't be a bad thing.
    Randart likes this.

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