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  1. #1
    BernieM's Avatar
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    BREAKING NEWS: The Other Five Bidders!

    My sources have uncovered the identities of the the five bidders cometing with the much-publicized Checketts/Limbaugh group for the controlling ownership interest in the St. Louis Rams.

    Since I had such a great time at this year's Bash, I decided to break the news here at ClanRam, rather than on the Post-Dispatch's website.

    The five groups are:

    The Lay Estate Group: This group is headed by the benificiaries of the late Kenneth Lay, former Enron executive. The biggest plus of this group is its vast assets and connections to Missouri (Lay was born in Tyrone, Missouri). There are some questions, though, about the source of the estate's funds.

    The Francis Group: Headed by Joseph Francis who, ironically, has a background in filmmaking, much like current owner Chip Rosenbloom. He is viewed as a potential owner who would bring a great deal of youth to the league, though certain legal obsticles are a concern.

    The Al Maktoum Group: The Royal Family of Dubai has been looking to get into American sports ownership, and this could be their (pardon the pun) gateway. The NFL currently does not maintain any anti-foreign ownership rules. However, concerns have been raised after blueprints for an NFL stadium in Dubai were leaked.

    The Cowell Group: Another wealthy potential owner, Simon Cowell has excelled in the selection of talent, and believes he can do the same in the NFL. He has already proposed a real-time text message interactive fan draft warroom plan for any team he is able to purchase. The biggest hurdle would be a recent poll in which 75% of current NFL owners reported that they consider him to be a "wanker."

    The Orlando Group: Little is known regarding this group, which apparently would like to move the team to Central Florida, other than that it is headed by a prominent Winter Park, Florida, attorney.

    So, there you have it. Clearly, there are some viable alternatives to the Checketts/Limbaugh group.

    --B


  2. #2
    ramhomer's Avatar
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    Re: BREAKING NEWS: The Other Five Bidders!

    Quote Originally Posted by BernieM View Post
    My sources have uncovered the identities of the the five bidders cometing with the much-publicized Checketts/Limbaugh group for the controlling ownership interest in the St. Louis Rams.

    Since I had such a great time at this year's Bash, I decided to break the news here at ClanRam, rather than on the Post-Dispatch's website.

    The five groups are:

    The Lay Estate Group: This group is headed by the benificiaries of the late Kenneth Lay, former Enron executive. The biggest plus of this group is its vast assets and connections to Missouri (Lay was born in Tyrone, Missouri). There are some questions, though, about the source of the estate's funds.

    The Francis Group: Headed by Joseph Francis who, ironically, has a background in filmmaking, much like current owner Chip Rosenbloom. He is viewed as a potential owner who would bring a great deal of youth to the league, though certain legal obsticles are a concern.

    The Al Maktoum Group: The Royal Family of Dubai has been looking to get into American sports ownership, and this could be their (pardon the pun) gateway. The NFL currently does not maintain any anti-foreign ownership rules. However, concerns have been raised after blueprints for an NFL stadium in Dubai were leaked.

    The Cowell Group: Another wealthy potential owner, Simon Cowell has excelled in the selection of talent, and believes he can do the same in the NFL. He has already proposed a real-time text message interactive fan draft warroom plan for any team he is able to purchase. The biggest hurdle would be a recent poll in which 75% of current NFL owners reported that they consider him to be a "wanker."

    The Orlando Group: Little is known regarding this group, which apparently would like to move the team to Central Florida, other than that it is headed by a prominent Winter Park, Florida, attorney.

    So, there you have it. Clearly, there are some viable alternatives to the Checketts/Limbaugh group.

    --B
    hahaha good one

  3. #3
    AlphaRam is offline Registered User
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    Re: BREAKING NEWS: The Other Five Bidders!

    The Alpha Group: Though the members of this bid team are not known, the primary partner has been soliciting money to purchase the team on internet message boards, through co-workers at his place of employment, and from the Scottish-American Society.

    Sources close to the group have shared that all players would be paired with performers from Branson, MO for mentoring. Also, one fan at the game each week would win a full massage from any three Rams cheerleaders that the lucky fan would pick.

    Finally, the Rams would be forced to sleep at the Edward Jones Dome for three nights after any home game loss.

  4. #4
    MauiRam's Avatar
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    Re: BREAKING NEWS: The Other Five Bidders!

    Quote Originally Posted by BernieM View Post
    75% of current NFL owners reported that they consider him to be a "wanker."
    --B
    What's a "wanker'?..

  5. #5
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    Re: BREAKING NEWS: The Other Five Bidders!

    I actually got excited when i saw this, then i saw the poster...fml

  6. #6
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    Re: BREAKING NEWS: The Other Five Bidders!

    Darn it! Just before I opened this thread, at the last moment, I noticed the hideous "BernieM" authorship!

    Too late. My fault.

    Maui, I've been a resident alien here in the U.S.A. for over 20 years but still, English is my 2nd language. I take it you're pulling Bernie's leg in asking "what a 'wanker' is".

    I had to look it up and found out that I cannot post the meaning here.
    Last edited by RealRam; -10-08-2009 at 11:52 PM. Reason: Speleen

  7. #7
    MauiRam's Avatar
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    Re: BREAKING NEWS: The Other Five Bidders!

    Quote Originally Posted by RealRam View Post
    Maui, I've been a resident alien here in the U.S.A. for over 20 years but still, English is my 2nd language. I take it you're pulling Bernie's leg in asking "what a 'wanker' is".

    I had to look it up and found out that I cannot post the meaning here.
    Not pulling anyone's leg here - just wanted to know .. After reading your post I googled the word and discovered it's a term for .. shall I say .. self abuse. It is not something one hears in Hawaii, so it must be in vogue on the mainland. I kind of like the term though, perhaps it could be aptly applied to our favorite division rival: The San Francisco Wankers !! .. Has a nice ring to it, don't you think?

  8. #8
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    Re: BREAKING NEWS: The Other Five Bidders!

    Actually the word is popular in parts of England, much more so than the United States.

    It wouldn't be uncommon to hear it as an insult.

  9. #9
    laram0's Avatar
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    Re: BREAKING NEWS: The Other Five Bidders!

    I wouldn't mind seeing the COWELL GROUP purchase our team.

  10. #10
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    Re: BREAKING NEWS: The Other Five Bidders!

    The Francis Group: Headed by Joseph Francis who, ironically, has a background in filmmaking, much like current owner Chip Rosenbloom. He is viewed as a potential owner who would bring a great deal of youth to the league, though certain legal obsticles are a concern.
    Yea, we'd probably screw this one up too. Instead of hot girls bareing presse-etoupe de mammory, it would wind up being "Cogs Gone Wild".
    "Before the gates of excellence the high gods have placed sweat; long is the road thereto and rough and steep at first; but when the heights are reached, then there is ease, though grievously hard in the winning." --- Hesiod

  11. #11
    UK Ramfan 83 is offline Registered User
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    Re: BREAKING NEWS: The Other Five Bidders!

    As a resident of Her Majesty's isle... I can confirm that the phrase 'wanker' is indeed a derogatory term used to describe someone who devotes far to much time towards his member.

    It isn't a particularly flattering term. In fact used in the right context can be quite insulting. In fact I used it a few times in the chatroom last week during the 49'r game. There it was observed that there was in fact a plethora of 'wankers' (not those I hasten to add that were taking part in the chat....well maybe some!) who couldn't play offensive football...

    Unfortunately, it was our side that I was referring to....*sigh*

    I guess it would be comparable to your term 'jerk-off' I would also suggest the term would be at home under the 'words you cannot use' heading at Clan Ram. In turn sanatising even further, the limitations on how one can express ones frustration every Sunday other than crying '..Oh darnit the rams aren't very good' or '...fiddlesticks, how I am not fond of the opposition as they pile up the score' Or even better still '..This unfortunate fellow, really isn't that great a quarterback'

    etc...etc...etc...
    Last edited by UK Ramfan 83; -10-09-2009 at 08:27 AM.

  12. #12
    AvengerRam's Avatar
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    Re: BREAKING NEWS: The Other Five Bidders!

    I'll bet that Bernie never envisioned this thread becoming a discourse on the meaning of the term "wanker."

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