Charles Robinson submitted this and it hit me as humorous. He went on to say that Marshall Faulk (in his opinion) would not be back.

Finally, the NFC has balanced the ledger.

After years of the AFC dominating the season-opening edition of the power rankings, the top 12 features an even split among the two conferences. Thanks to some heavy-hitting offseason additions (Terrell Owens in Dallas, Julian Peterson in Seattle, LaVar Arrington with the Giants and Maake Kemoeatu and Keyshawn Johnson in Carolina) the NFC's elite look stronger than ever and more than capable of competing against the AFC. And for the first time in three years, an NFC team starts the season in the No. 1 slot. Seattle follows New England's nod in 2004 and Indianapolis' perch in 2005.

As usual, not every fan will be happy with where their team is slotted. And the mailbag is eagerly awaiting the fury that's sure to come. So we'll start this season's rankings with the traditional form letter of complaint that we have adopted to open the season. Special thanks to reader John Lubic of Pittsburgh, who sent us the letter long ago. For those who have complaints, feel free to cut the time spent on your rants with the following form.

Dear Charles:

You are an __________ (insert fourth-grade level insult here). I can't believe how much you disrespect the __________ (insert hometown football team here). Obviously __________ (insert low-level free agent signings here) were HUGE pickups that are going to boost the __________(team's) __________(Pick one: offense/defense). Every week you write something glorifying the __________ (insert hometown team's main divisional rival here). But what did they do this offseason? You are clearly biased against the (team). For the last __________(insert made-up time frame here), you've written __________ (insert made-up number) articles about how __________ (insert 36 year old player's name here) is all washed up. I'll write back this season when the __________ (team) make the playoffs.



__________ (made-up name)

__________ (real city)

Thanks again, John, for cutting down on the time it takes for readers to flame the rankings. Without further ado, on to the carnage