John Shaw/Jay Zygmunt
Shaw: "Jay, did you see this $#!& in the paper today?"
Zygmunt: "No, what happened?"
Shaw: "Coach Sickie is saying he wants to come back this year. Can you believe it?"
Zygmunt: "You have to be kidding me. Doesn't that guy get it?"
Shaw: "Apparently not. You think after I planted that story with Bernie about the relationship being beyond repair he'd get the message, but remember, this is the same guy who used a challenge after the opening kickoff this year."
Zygmunt: "So what are we going to do?"
Shaw: "Don't worry, he won't be medically cleared."
Zygmunt: "How do you know that?"
Shaw: "Let's just say you might be seeing a certain doctor with a luxury box next season."
Zygmunt: "Well played, my friend."
Chip VanderWhitbred/Muffy Grandwasp (Cambridge, Mass.)
Muffy: "Chip, its me, Muffy. I'm waiting here for you to pick me up. The polo match starts in an hour."
Chip: "My apologies, Muffy dear, but I do say, that chap Ryan Fitzpatrick is playing American football on the television."
Muffy: "Really, Chip... American football. How gauche."
Chip: "Tut, tut, Muffy. He is playing for the glory of the Crimson, after all."
Muffy: "If you say so. It just seems so... so Middle Class."
Chip: "Just think of it as early campaigning for Ryan's future senatorial run."
Muffy: "Well, if you say so. Those uniforms are ghastly, though. And what's that designer.... Ree-bok? Never heard of it."
Bernie Miklasz/Michael Silver
Bernie: "Um... yes... I'd like to speak to Mr. Silver."
Silver: "Speaking. Bernie, is that you?"
Bernie: "Um... no... I'm... a.... Ram player."
Silver: "Which one?"
Bernie: "That's not important. I wanted to tell you that a lot of us guys want Bulger out and Fitzpatrick in. You should write a story about that."
Silver: "Um... okay... are you sure you're not Bernie. You sure sound like him."
Bernie: "No... I'm... a ... disgruntled veteran. Yeah, that's it."
Silver: "Its funny, because my caller ID says you're calling from the St. Louis Post-Dispatch."
Bernie: "Uh... gotta go! Bye!"
Silver: "Yeah, right. Fool me once..."