From the Job Posting Board at Rams Park

**AvengerRam** · #1 (**permalink**) -05-12-2005

HELP WANTED

Head Coach

Seeking candidates able to start January 2, 2006.
Qualifications:

Ability to build strong defense.
Demonstrated reluctance to use time outs and challenges early in games.
Deferential attitude towards superiors.

Please submit applications c/o Samir Suleiman, Al-Bakar Business School for Mercenaries, Opa-Laka, Florida.

Defensive Coordinator
Seeking candidates able to start January 3, 2006.
Qualifications:

No prior personal relationship with any Head Coach candidates.
Nor prior relationship with the Arizona Cardinals.
Proponents of the Marmie-style defense need not apply.

Defenders

Multiple openings in positions of DE, OLB, MLB, CB, SS and FS.
Qualifications:

Demonstrated understanding of difference between "bumping" and "tackling."
Must not be described as "undersized," "tweener," "project," "workout warrior," or "reach."
Applicants who like making QBs and receivers cry preferred.

*general counsel* · #2 (**permalink**) -05-12-2005

When you suggest that the candidate should start jan 3, 2005, are you asking for a mulligan on this entire season, which i would support 100%.

ramming speed to all

general counsel

**AvengerRam** · #3 (**permalink**) -05-12-2005

D'oh!!!!

I meant 2006, of course.

*Rambos* · #4 (**permalink**) -05-12-2005

Thats is one of yout best to date, I would rather laugh then cry.

*theodus69* · #5 (**permalink**) -05-12-2005

Coach John Carrey D-coach Hillary Clinton( don't think she even likes men) And the Breakfast club! Nahhh We,d probably get the same results. Then again.....