Job Postings at Rams Park

[AvengerRam]

Assistant Coach/Coordinator (Temp Job Openings)
Seeking candidates for several openings on staff.

Minimum Requirements:

• 2 or more years experience at Pro (including Canadian and Arena Leagues), College, High School, Intra-mural or flag football league level.
• Must have been at Scott Linehan's house for dinner at least once in the past 18 months.

Backup QBs
Immediate opening for third, and possibly second, string QB. Seeking candidates with quick-release, accurate arms, and the willingness to be sacked 6-7 times per game. Grocery shelf stocking experience not required, but preferred.

Pass Rusher
Seeking candidates with proven ability to prevent opposing QBs from taking 7 step drops, making a sandwich, eating it, reading a book, and doing their taxes before having to get rid of the ball.

Press Release Coordinator
Must show ability to write clearly, speak in front of reporters, and put positive spin on any situation. Candidates with difficulty lying in public need not apply. Experience on Presidential candidate staffs a plus.

Offensive Line
Open tryouts will be held for all offensive line positions. Are you 300+ lbs, unemployed, and eager to learn how to block? We want you!

[jkramsfan]

funny stuff but in a sad way very accurate,I wonder how many applications they would really get ?

[RealRam]

That's funny alright! ...Ah, sure enough, the offseason is here!

[Chris58]

Pass Rusher (quote AvengerRam)
Seeking candidates with proven ability to prevent opposing QBs from taking 7 step drops, making a sandwich, eating it, reading a book, and doing their taxes before having to get rid of the ball.

I don't know Avenger, taxes are pretty complicated. I'm sure we could have gotten a pass rush going last season before the QB completed his taxes!

[ramsanddodgers]

2 or more years experience at Pro (including Canadian and Arena Leagues), College, High School, Intra-mural or flag football league level.

A winning record a plus

As for the tax thing, Chris58, seeing as how AV is, I believe a barrister rather than a solicitor, he no doubt can make more cents of the tax code than us mere mortals.

The only place he might possibly be a pettifogger would be in a situation such as this.

[itsguud]

uh. I tried to give AV. rep points for this but I have to give to someone else first...

Make me laugh, somebody!

Great post AV. I love laughing away my Ram sorrows. It's so much better then being depressed about them.

[PHAT-MONEY]

no no no.. we dont teach them how to block.. they try to learn it on the job.

[Mooselini]

uh. I tried to give AV. rep points for this but I have to give to someone else first...

Make me laugh, somebody!

Great post AV. I love laughing away my Ram sorrows. It's so much better then being depressed about them.

haha you beat me to my post. its a very sad season, but reading alot of these funny posts certainly makes me forget about the horrible season we just experienced.