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  1. #1
    RamWraith's Avatar
    RamWraith is offline Registered User
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    Michael Meyers Wouldn't Even Want a Piece of Pisa

    Posted Nov 1st 2006

    What Halloween would be complete without the annals of Michael Meyers and all the bloody gore that the classic Halloween horror series brought to our days and nightmares over the years. But in the NFL, there is a version that is as far from Hollywood fiction as Saddam Hussein - but every bit as relentless.

    The only thing that kept Pisa Tinoisamoa out of the game Sunday was the fact that he broke his hand during practice on Wednesday. He spent the greater part of his Saturday afternoon nagging and whining to the medical staff to get his hand in a cast so that he could get out there against LT and the rest of the San Diego Chargers, but the swelling was such that it made the task impossible much like life with Pisa when told he would have to miss his very first NFL game due to the injury.

    Talk about one mad islander.

    This guy is a straight up monster. When he dislocated his elbow in a game earlier this season, he went to the trainer's room to get it taped up. When they told him he was done for the day, he said okay.

    But they already knew he was as full of crap as he did. So much so that they radioed the sideline - after he took off from the trainer's room - to hide his helmet from him so he couldn't go back into the game.

    This is one man you don't want mad at you, for anything.

    In his three years in the league, he has suffered dislocations of both shoulders, his elbow, a concussion, and countless other abrasions of the severity that would prompt 99 percent of today's players to err on the side of caution and "Think about their careers." ( See Michael Vick, T.O. and virtually any other self-centered prima-donna sissy which comes to mind.)

    But not this guy.

    Through all of that he had never missed one single game. He could be helped off the field and assumed lost for the game, but rest assured he would only have three words for the trainers back in the locker room.

    "Tape it up."

    The reason he is so awesome is because he seems to be possessed with the spirit of Jack Youngblood himself. If you ripped his leg off, he would seriously hop you down and beat you to death with his dislocated kneecap tattooed permanently on your unwittingly horrified forehead. He is Michael Meyers - NFL style, and he will always be coming to get you if you are an unlucky member of an intruding offense.

    So it should come as no surprise at all - broken hand and still healing, dislocated elbow and all - that he will most definitely be on the field Sunday when the Rams welcome their upstate rivals, the KC Chiefs to the Ed.

    Even Coach Scott Linehan has come to grips with the fact that the best way to deal with the man of steel's injury situation - whichever it may be - is to find the easiest way to appease him by somehow putting him back on the field; which is where everyone who has ever had to deal with him already knows he will end up.

    "Our challenge now is to find the solution to the protection of that (broken) hand now, something that will work," Linehan said. "We haven't come up with a good enough solution for him to feel 100 percent comfortable. Hopefully this week, with the swelling going down and less pain, will be a big factor.

    Yeah, like this guy feels pain.

    They never did find a way to kill Michael Meyers. But he did have the motivation of Jamie Lee Curtis' breasts to pursue.

    But Pisa Tinoisamoa is real. And if you hail from the friendly confines of Arrowhead Stadium, you need to be aware of the truth. Because he most certainly is coming to get a Pisa you.

  2. #2
    laram0's Avatar
    laram0 is offline Superbowl MVP
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    Re: Michael Meyers Wouldn't Even Want a Piece of Pisa

    This guy is a true IRONMAN.

  3. #3
    thoey's Avatar
    thoey is offline Registered User
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    Re: Michael Meyers Wouldn't Even Want a Piece of Pisa

    Nice story from our local Monster mash himself. Tried to give you some "love" but that dreaded spread it around first came up.
    This space for rent...


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