My Exclusive Interview with Jeff Fisher

[BernieM]

Some of you have been wondering where I've been. Well, I did have the opportunity to interview Jeff Fisher and, as you can see, it didn't go as I had hoped...

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BernieM: “I’d like to welcome Jeff Fisher, prospective Rams head coach. Welcome, Jeff.”

Fisher: “I’m sorry… what do you mean by ‘prospective’ head coach. I am the Rams’ new head coach. Were you not aware that I had been hired?”

BernieM: “That’s not possible.”

Fisher: “Why is that not possible?"

BernieM: “Because I have not approved the hiring yet. That’s why you’re interviewing with me right now.”

Fisher: “Are you insane?”

BernieM: “Are you doubting my power? You do realize I am personally responsible for running the last three head coaches out of St. Louis, right?

Fisher: “And you do realize that I have a contract, right?”

BernieM: “Whatever. So, are you worried about the move to Los Angeles?”

Fisher: “What move to Los Angeles?”

BernieM: “Oh, come on… you know about the move, and you’re worried about it, right?”

Fisher: “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

BernieM: “Look, don’t try to deny it. My sources tell me that you are very troubled by the move…”

Fisher: “Who are these ‘sources’?”

BernieM: “Insiders.”

Fisher: “And they would be?”

BernieM: “People in the know.”

Fisher: “You haven’t answered my question.”

BernieM: “Well, there certainly are rumblings.”

Fisher: “What does that mean?”

BernieM: "Its blowing up on the Twitter-verse."

Fisher: "The what?"

BernieM: “Are you saying the league sources who have reported this are liars.”

Fisher: “Alright! Enough of this nonsense! Maybe you were able to bully the previous coaches with this kind of crap, but that stops now! I’m not some novice who is going to worry about what some tub-of-lard with a computer types to get the attention of fantasy football geeks who live in their parents’ basement. This is a new era! We’re going to be a professional organization that does things the right way. We want to have a good relationship with the media, but its not essential to us. If you insist on acting like a tabloid reporter, you will simply be ignored. DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR!?!?!”

BernieM: “……..”

Fisher: “Oh, Lord… are you crying?”

BernieM: “N-n-no.” <sniff>

Fisher: “And what’s that… oh, my God… you pissed yourself, didn’t you?”

BernieM: “N-n-no… I… uh… spilled m-my soda…”

Fisher: “I think we’re done here. Don't call me again." <gets up to leave>

BernieM: "Oh, you'll <sniff> rue this day! You will feel my <sniff> wrath!"

Fisher: <returning to room> "What did you say to me, punk?"

BernieM: "N-n-nothing... Sir."

[laram0]

BernieM really stepped in it this time!

[sjacksonrules]

BernieM really stepped in it this time!

I feel sorry for "it" then.