My Interview With Billy Devaney

[BernieM]

I was able to sit down briefly with Billy Devaney to discuss the Rams' plans for the offseason. Here's a transcript of our discussion:

BM: Welcome, Billy. Its good to see you again.

BD: I'm sorry, have we met before?

BM: That's funny, seriously though...

BD: No, really, I have no idea who you are...

BM: Ha ha, great stuff! Let's get down to the key issue... what are the Rams going to do with the extra 5th round draft choice obtained in the Laurent Robinson deal?

BD: That's an odd question. Wouldn't you rather discuss the QB situation, the number one pick, free agency...

BM: Well, that seems a strange approach, but okay... with Marc Bulger retiring...

BD: Wait... where did you hear that?

BM: Well, I recently wrote a column about how he should retire, so I'm assuming he read it and will follow my advice.

BD: Somehow I doubt that's how he's going to make his decision.

BM: Whatever. So, who's the starting QB next year. Keith Null? Michael Vick? Jimmy Clausen?

BD: At this point, we have to evaluate our options. There are free agents we are considering, and there look to be good options throughout the first three to four rounds of the draft. Then there's our existing QBs to look at. Marc could be back, and we'll also consider Kyle, and...

BM: Wait a minute. This sounds like a process. I'm not interested in that. I want a scoop.

BD: Well, I'm afraid that I don't have one to give you.

BM: Fine. How are the contract negotiations going with Ndamukong Suh?

BD: He's a fine player, and certainly someone we're considering...

BM: Oh, come on, Billy... I know you're talking to his agent already.

BD: Really? How do you know that?

BM: I have inside sources.

BD: Oh, you do, do you? Who would that be?

BM: Well... you know... sources... who are on... you know... the ... um... inside... and...

BD: Does anyone buy this bunk?

BM: I certainly hope so. Can you please just give me a scoop?

BD: Look, I understand that you want to break some news here, but how would it benefit the team to divulge information prematurely?

BM: What do I care about the team?

BM: Exactly. This interview is over.

BD: Wait! Don't go! I was kidding! I really love the Rams! Really, I do! Don't leave!!!!

[laram0]

Another complete waste of time from Bill Devaney! Nice try Bernie, thanks.

[RebelYell]

Hey Bernie, did you really eat 10 lbs of chicken wings yesterday during the NFC wildcard game?

[BernieM]

Hey Bernie, did you really eat 10 lbs of chicken wings yesterday during the NFC wildcard game?

You're actually bringing up a sore subject.

You see, my diet (the famous "South Beach Ball Diet") limits me to 10 pounds of chicken wings, so that's what I ordered from my favorite takeout place. After I finished eating, though, someone told me that when they give you 10 pounds of wings, its actually an estimate of the weight of the meat and the skin. Since I eat the bones too, I actually ended up eating considerably more than 10 pounds.

Oh well, there's always tomorrow.

[RebelYell]

You're actually bringing up a sore subject.

You see, my diet (the famous "South Beach Ball Diet") limits me to 10 pounds of chicken wings, so that's what I ordered from my favorite takeout place. After I finished eating, though, someone told me that when they give you 10 pounds of wings, its actually an estimate of the weight of the meat and the skin. Since I eat the bones too, I actually ended up eating considerably more than 10 pounds.

Oh well, there's always tomorrow.

Don't give it a second thought buddy. Just by looking at you I can tell your arteries are in great shape. When you get a paper cut and bleed a little, have you noticed the smell of bacon?

[Bralidore(RAMMODE)]

Also, if you fall in the woods and noone is around to hear you....do you make a sound?

[MoonJoe]

Hey Bernie, did you really eat 10 lbs of chicken wings yesterday during the NFC wildcard game?

Shouldn't that be the "KFC" Wildcard Championship?

[Mooselini]

So it's okay to start urinating text all over these message boards? Funny, the shoe sellers get deleted.

[AvengerRam]

So it's okay to start urinating text all over these message boards? Funny, the shoe sellers get deleted.

You know, when I read your post, I was surprised. Then, I investigated a bit further and found the problem. Apparently, when you registered, you forgot to activate the "don't open that thread" feature. I fixed the glitch, so from now on, if there's a thread that you don't want to read, you won't have to open it.

Hope that helps!

[Canadian Rams Fan]

So Bernie...... who is that inside source....... ha! ha! ha!

[tomahawk247]

Also, if you fall in the woods and noone is around to hear you....do you make a sound?

Of course he does! But its a sound that is obvious to anyone that has a passing interest in the Rams, but he makes the sound seem like its something revolutionary that the Rams fans havent heard before. Also he will make multiple sounds so that if one of those sounds happens later in the season, he can gloat about having predicted it happening, and about being "right"