Welcome, coach. Thanks for meeting with me.
No problem. Its not like I have anything else to do this time of year.
Really? Aren't you getting ready for free agency, the draft...
Nah. I think we're fine as is.
You do?
Well, clearly our record should have been better, but I didn't get fired, so I guess that means everything is okay.
Don't you want to win more games?
Well, sure I do, but there's nothing that
I can do about it. I mean, I don't play the game.
True, but you do set the gameplan, call the plays, etc...
That's true, but that stuff doesn't really matter.
Your players seem to disagree. Torry Holt, for one.
What about him?
Well, he was pretty mad at you a couple of weeks ago, wasn't he?
I don't remember that.
Well, here's the tape <shows video clip of outburst>
Oh, that? He wasn't mad at me.
He wasn't? What was he saying.
He was saying "coach, I'm so frustrated about how fans have been coming down so hard on you when its all been about injuries and poor execution by us!"
Do you expect me to buy that?
Well, I didn't get fired, did I?
That's true, but I would suggest that Ms. Frontiere's health has put the team in limbo, and that's why you still have a job.
Are you accusing me of trying to kill the owner?
WHAT!?!!? NO!?!?!
Sure sounded like it.
Man, you are more paranoid than Mike Martz.
What about Mike Martz?!?!
Nothing. I was just saying...
He can't come back! I won't let him! No no no no no no no no!
I don't think anyone thinks he's coming back.
I'm in charge! He can't take away my power! No no no no no no!
Calm down, coach. I never said he was coming back. Now, what do you see as the Rams priorities in the upcoming draft?
Tight end.
What?
Tight end. That is the most important position on the team.
You're not serious, are you?
Don't I look serious?
But what about the pass rush? The offensive line? Strong safety?
A good tight end will make up for the problems at all those positions.
I don't see how, but are you saing that Randy McMichael is not good enough?
No, he's great. He used to play for me in Miami, you know? But we need more. More tight ends. More, I tell you. Bwahahaha!
Okay, well, anything you'd like to say about the 2007 season?
Yes. We accomplished all of our goals except one.
Which is.
Winning games.