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  1. #1
    BernieM's Avatar
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    Objectively, Ram Have Lost In Free Agency

    Bernie's Grits (March 16, 2006)

    A lot of you Ram fans want to believe that the Rams free agent signings have had a positive impact on the team. I guess you're not very smart, so let me help you all out with this.

    Anyone can evaluate players subjectively. We all have favorite players or names that we are impressed with because they get a lot of attention from the media. But there is only one objective measure of a player that cannot be debated.

    Weight.

    Looking at this clear indicator, the Rams have lost in free agency. Let's take the four key defensive players lost, either because they signed elsewhere, or because they were cut.

    Ryan Pickett: 310 pounds
    Damione Lewis: 301 pounds
    Adam Archuleta: 223 pounds
    Chris Claiborne: 255 pounds

    That's a total of 1,089 pounds. Compare that to the players acquired.

    Will Witherspoon 231 pounds
    Corey Chavous 205 pounds
    La'Roi Glover 290 pounds
    Fakhir Brown 192 pounds

    That's only 918 pounds.

    So, despite all of you who want to say that this has been a good offseason, the Rams have lost 171 pounds. Clearly, that means the Front Office has done a bad job in free agency. The only solution I can see is to sign Tim Dwight, who is 180 pounds, which would put the Rams 9 pounds ahead.

    Sorry I had to be the one to break the bad news to you all. Actually, I'm not sorry. Nyeh, nyeh, nyeh nyeh, nyeh nyeh!


  2. #2
    RamsFan16 Guest

    Re: Objectively, Ram Have Lost In Free Agency

    Haha. Nice research Bernie.

  3. #3
    RAMMAN68's Avatar
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    Re: Objectively, Ram Have Lost In Free Agency

    [QUOTE][
    Ryan Pickett: 310 pounds
    Damione Lewis: 301 pounds
    Adam Archuleta: 223 pounds
    Chris Claiborne: 255 pounds

    That's a total of 1,089 pounds. Compare that to the players acquired.

    Will Witherspoon 231 pounds
    Corey Chavous 205 pounds
    La'Roi Glover 290 pounds
    Fakhir Brown 192 pounds

    That's only 918 pounds.
    /QUOTE]

    Leaner and meaner!:clanram:
    JUST WIN ONE FOR THE FANS


    "HIT HARD, HIT FAST, AND HIT OFTEN"
    Adm. William "Bull" Halsey

  4. #4
    Rambos's Avatar
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    Re: Objectively, Ram Have Lost In Free Agency

    That's a total of 1,089 pounds = 30th defensive in the NFL. Looks more like dead weight to me. It's called cutting the fat.

    This is a joke right.

  5. #5
    Curly Horns's Avatar
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    Re: Objectively, Ram Have Lost In Free Agency

    Staying with the present theme:

    “An ounce of action is worth a half ton of theory.”
    “A pound of pluck is worth a half ton of luck.”
    “A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a half ton of explanation.”


    ForEveryRamThatEarnsRegard

  6. #6
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    Re: Objectively, Ram Have Lost In Free Agency

    are you serious? I don't read sarcasm too well online, sometimes its obvious, but I can't tell with this one..


    Always and Forever a fan of the St. Louis Rams

  7. #7
    AvengerRam's Avatar
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    Re: Objectively, Ram Have Lost In Free Agency

    "The weighting is the hardest part"

    -- Tom Petty

  8. #8
    AvengerRam's Avatar
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    Re: Objectively, Ram Have Lost In Free Agency

    Quote Originally Posted by Varg6
    are you serious? I don't read sarcasm too well online, sometimes its obvious, but I can't tell with this one..
    Okay... here are a few clues:

    1. Bernie Miklasz's column is called "Bernie's Bits," not "Bernie's Grits."

    2. Though Bernie is somewhat overweight, the photo in the avatar is not Miklasz, but rather is Jabba the Hut.

    3. Even a hack like Miklasz rarely ends a column with "nyeh, nyeh, nyeh nyeh, nyeh nyeh."

    Other than that, I can understand while you found the analysis to be frighteningly similar to that found in a typical Miklasz column.

  9. #9
    BigGameHolt Guest

    Re: Objectively, Ram Have Lost In Free Agency

    I like Linehan's slimfast method, maybe then we will be fast enough to actually tackle our opponents. haha i think we did improve in these signings.

  10. #10
    HUbison's Avatar
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    Re: Objectively, Ram Have Lost In Free Agency

    the photo in the avatar is not Miklasz, but rather is Jabba the Hut.
    Are you serious? I thought he just got contact lenses.
    "Before the gates of excellence the high gods have placed sweat; long is the road thereto and rough and steep at first; but when the heights are reached, then there is ease, though grievously hard in the winning." --- Hesiod

  11. #11
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    Re: Objectively, Ram Have Lost In Free Agency

    Jabba the WHO?


  12. #12
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    Re: Objectively, Ram Have Lost In Free Agency

    Quote Originally Posted by HUbison
    Are you serious? I thought he just got contact lenses.
    LOL LOL LOL That just made my day. Thanks HUb!

  13. #13
    Rookie is offline Awaiting Email Conformation
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    Talking Re: Objectively, Ram Have Lost In Free Agency

    That has to be one of the stupidist posts that actually took work that I have ever seen. GOD less you. I only wish I had the time to do that. Look at the bright side, if Rams sign Adams we might be over. LOL

  14. #14
    Blankman17 Guest

    Re: Objectively, Ram Have Lost In Free Agency

    I was told there were free cookies here?

  15. #15
    AvengerRam's Avatar
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    Re: Objectively, Ram Have Lost In Free Agency

    :clanram:
    Quote Originally Posted by Rookie
    That has to be one of the stupidist posts that actually took work that I have ever seen. GOD less you. I only wish I had the time to do that. Look at the bright side, if Rams sign Adams we might be over. LOL
    Careful... you might hurt BernieM's feelings, and I understand he binge eats when he's upset.

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