Supreme Court Declares Rams QB Position Unconstitutional

[AvengerRam]

It was bound to happen sooner or later:

Rams QB Position Declared Unconstitutional
AP: November 10, 2008
Armen Dacity, Staff Writer

In a rare decision evaluating the rights of professional athletes, the United States Supreme Court has declared the position of quarterback for the St. Louis Rams to be contrary to the Eight Amendment's prohibition against cruel and unusual punishment.

Justice Scalia, writing for a 6-3 majority, states in his opinion that "the repeated physical harm inflicted upon the individual serves no legitimate purpose and is, in fact, the product of negligence on the part of the organization." As evidence for the latter conclusion, the Court cited to the frequent change in offensive line personnel and coaches, the failure to utilize young lineman with promise, and the lack of depth at the running back position.

Writing for the dissent, Justice Bader Ginsberg noted "the assumption of the risk inherent in this relationship, coupled with the substantial compensation received by the quarterback, overrides any Eight Amendment concerns."

The majority acknowledged this concept, but suggested that the repeated blows to the head received by Rams quarterbacks renders them unable to provide informed consent to the risk of harm.

The impact of this decision is not yet known. While some have suggested that the ruling might result in a full-time "wildcat" formation, sources close to the team have denied the validity of those reports.

[Azul e Oro]

I believe the decision may be reversed on the basis of inadequate advocacy by the firm of Vermiel, Martz, Linehan, & Haslett.

Vermeil & Linehan did nothing but cry & hug, to the embarrassment of all present.

Martz offered no defense but threw wads of paper constantly.

Haslett glared & muttered something about tough guys not wearing girlie robes to work while sketching weird complex hieroglyphics on a whiteboard as defensive exhibits.

[shower beers]

excellent post. Perhaps Obama will bring the change we need.

[ramsanddodgers]

excellent post. Perhaps Obama will bring the change we need.

Obama was elected on the premise he would play Robin Hood.

He proposed to take players from the richer teams and give them to the poorer.

He calls this "Redistribution of Wealth"

[LA Rammer]

Your Honor I plead insanity, you see I'm just crazy bout that girl.

[RealRam]

One question then: can we kidnap Kurt Warner?

[AvengerRam]

One question then: can we kidnap Kurt Warner?

Why? So he can get another concussion?

[rammiser]

One question then: can we kidnap Kurt Warner?

How about we kidnap a real offensive line.

[RealRam]

How about we kidnap a real offensive line.

That'll work! Then we avoid AVs concussion.