Vitt and the KKR Structured Buyout Approach

[adarian_too]

The Hollow Report ....

Vitt, Linebackers coach for the Rams, hurdled his boss, and defensive coordinator, and became the Rams' interim head coach late Monday afternoon.

After secret negotiations took place in Bethel, Maine during the Wife-Carrying Championship, Vitt was ear-marked to replace M&M.

Vitt was approved only after he agreed to employ the tried and true structured buyout approach used by Kohlberg Kravis Roberts & Co (commonly referred to as KKR).

The KKR approach is to restructure a company, by selling off underperforming assets and implementing a series of cost-cutting measures. The new, leaner and more efficient company, can then be resold, often at significant return on investment to shareholders.

Vitt quickly followed through with his promise by releasing 6th round pick, punter Reggie Hodges. The next "asset" to be sold off will be Larry Marmie, the non-performing defense division of the Rams.

Ram fan stakeholders are reported hoping the firesale includes many of the Rams' secondary, including coach Schottenheimer.

[general counsel]

Adarian, you have done it again. This is going to win my nomination for analogy of the year, and that is really saying something given some of the winners you have previously posted.

As a current employee of a private equity/buyout shop, i find you use of the term KKR on the rams board fascinating. Given your long standing reputation for aggressive deal making, and the fact that the two "heirs" of kkr resigned recently to form their own fund, i would suggest that you consider Roark Capital Partners as your model for future buyout transactions. We are more active in franchising than KKR, not as big of course, but a lot hungrier. Check us out at www.roarkcapital.com

ramming speed to all

general counsel

[Ferter]

Originally Posted by adarian_too

The next "asset" to be sold off will be Larry Marmie, the non-performing defense division of the Rams.

Ram fan stakeholders are reported hoping the firesale includes many of the Rams' secondary, including coach Schottenheimer.

If Rams fans could only be so lucky.

[adarian_too]

Originally Posted by Atlantis' General Counsel

... [may] i ... suggest that you consider Roark Capital Partners as your model for future buyout transactions.

Given that Roark is a character in an Ayn Rand novel ... The Fountain Head, and the fact that to Neal Aronson, Roark epitomizes someone who sticks to his beliefs, even if it goes against conventional wisdom, and although sometimes suffering for it, eventually prospering, I could see taking your suggestion under advisement.