The New Year’s Eve Revelation: The Second Coming of the Horns – But which ones?
“The Keeper of the mead
Came carrying out the carved flasks,
And poured that bright sweetness.
A poet Sang, from time to time, in a clear Pure voice.”
- BEOWULF: 493-497
Those carved flasks are horns, some say Viking horns, others say Ram horns. For Rams fans this year, the nature of those horns are never more important. For the bright sweetness of Rams’ success will pour ever so deliberately from horns that honed their sharpness while in the land of the Vikings. Horns of the past, ex-Vikings, will play pivotal roles in the resurrection of the horns of the present. And the New Year’s Eve game of the Rams versus the Vikings will symbolically reveal which horns have resurrected themselves.
Let’s rewind to the present first. Who’s the head coach? OK. It was rhetorical. But for the drug-addled, it’s Linehan, as in Linehan, once coach for the Vikings from 2003 – 2004. Starting safety? Yep. Chavous. As in Chavous of the Vikings from 2002 – 2005. Back-up quarter-back? Uh-huh. Frerotte. As in Frerotte of the Vikings from 2003 – 2004. Back-up running-back? That’s right. Williams. As in a-Moe-Fo-of-a-Kind Viking from 2003 – 2005. Can we get a wild card or two in this hand? How about rotating nose tackle? That would be Fisk. As in Fisk of Viking lore from 1995 – 1998. Any more help on the offensive side? Yeah. That’s going to be Steussie. As in Steussie of the Viking horns from 1994 – 2000.
As much as one might hope that both Bulger and Jackson and the rest of the starters will see full seasons, the past doesn’t inspire an over-whelming confidence that all will remain injury free for a complete year. In fact, it’s just the nature of the football beast that there will be situations of one sort or another that will prompt all of these ex-Vikings to play a featured role sometime during the upcoming year. Whether they start, rotate in, or relieve due to injury or incompetence, it is inevitable that they will be called on to contribute. They will be worth two or three wins on their own.
Hollywood is prone to remakes. It has little imagination of late. It often borrows a formula, substitutes a special effect, and hopes no one notices that the dialogue has no substance any longer. The legacy of the Ram horns is not a remake that lends itself to simply substituting special effects. Rams fans are not easily confused. Merely substituting Ram horns with Viking horns will buffalo no one. So although the FO may have its roots in the Hollywood of the LA Rams, it would be best served for its acquisitions to loudly proclaim that they are here not trying to remake Rams horns into Viking horns; but are here to resurrect the pride of the Clan by reshaping Viking horns into spiralhorns.
For the Rams to taste the mead of success, the sweetness will have to be poured from the curved flasks of Ram horns and not Viking horns. Those who honed their edge through the horns of other ilk will have to learn what it means to wear the Spiralhorns. Spiralhorns are not just any type of horns. And the sooner the ex-Vikings adopt the culture of the spiralhorns, the sooner the "resurrection" of the Rams will have begun. Because, regardless from where the come, they have arrived at the camp of the spiralhorns, and they will be expected to contribute. Contribute to the second coming of the spiralhorns.
It’s fitting that the final game of the regular season will be on New Year’s Eve against the Vikings. Because it will be readily apparent by then how Viking horns of yesteryear have transformed themselves into the spiralhorns of future lore. Fans cannot wait till then though, for the call of the spiralhorns can be heard in the dawn of the new season already. Hopefully the ex-Vikings hear the clarion call also.
Re: The New Year’s Eve Revelation: The Second Coming of the Horns – But which ones?
Yes but, does a rolling Spiralhorn gather no Moss?