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Emotional Jeremy Shockey gives Eli Manning one last wedgie
Former New York Giants tight end Jeremy Shockey stopped by the team’s facility one last time on Monday to say his goodbyes to his ex-teammates before departing for New Orleans. He also made sure to pull Eli Manning’s underwear deep into the quarterback’s anus one last time.
“Oh, Eli, you stupid, little dork,” Shockey said, ripping Manning’s underwear strap up over his head. “I know I gave you a hard time. But I’m going to miss trying to jump for your overthrown passes and giving you wedgies and shoving your head in floater-filled toilets. You suck and I hate you. But it was all in good fun, you stupid queer.”
Manning says he has mixed feelings about Shockey’s departure.
“You hate to lose good players,” he said. “But I think I’ll play better without him yelling at me all the time. Not to mention that I’ll have less bleeding anal wounds to play through. The other fellas give me wedgies, of course, but not as much as Jeremy did.”
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