ESPN's "Sunday Night Football" crew give a eulogy (JOKE)

[ramsbruce]

I found this on another forum and thought people here might get a kick out of this, especially if you have ever watched a Sunday night game with Theisman, Maguire, and Patrick and suffered through their announcing and analysis (if you can call it that).

Q: Wouldn't it be pretty funny to hear ESPN's "Sunday Night Football" crew give a eulogy?
-- Alex, Syosset, NY

SG: Actually, I was hoping for a Pat Morita (Mr Myagi - Karate Kid) tribute during the Saints-Jets game...

Patrick: Guys, we'd be remiss if we didn't say good-bye to one of the great, great actors of our generation, Pat Morita -- what an actor this guy was! Just a great, great, great actor.

Theismann: Mike, when we talked to John Avildsen, the director of "The Karate Kid," he told us that Pat Morita was one of the greatest actors he ever worked with. I mean, here's a guy who was simply robbed for the 1984 Best Supporting Actor by Dr. Haing S. Ngor.

Maguire: I'm gonna tell you what a great actor this guy was. Watch this clip from the first "Karate Kid" when he saves Daniel-San on Halloween ... watch him jump this fence and take out the Cobra Kai -- here it comes, here it comes, WHAM! BAM! Right there! And look at his feet! See his feet moving! Is this guy something? You think this guy doesn't know karate?

Patrick: What a scene for Pat Morita! HOLY COW!

Theismann: And guys, when we talked to Jimmy Franklin, the head writer for "Happy Days" back in 1977, he told us that Pat Morita was the easiest guy he has ever written for -- and this is a guy who wrote for Pat Schneider, Vic Tayback, Conrad Bain and pretty much every great sitcom actor from that decade.

Maguire: And Joe, you want to talk about a guy who could steal a scene? This guy could steal scenes. He'd steal 'em right out of thin air! And you know the thing about Pat Morita -- when he belted out a line like "wax on, wax off," I'm gonna tell you somethin' right now: You believed him. You waxed on, and you waxed off.

Theismann: "You know guys, when I was with the Redskins, Coach Gibbs invited Morita into the locker room for a pre-game pep talk. During that talk, he mentioned how his favorite line from his old "Happy Days" work was when he told Richie, Ralph, Potsie, and the Fonz "why you not crawl under?" when hearing the guys complain about the new pay toilets at Arnold's."

"That speech moved me and the rest of my team mates to go out and play a near perfect game. Even moreso than when my old girlfriend, Cathy Lee Crosby would stand before me completely naked. Anyway, that will be my lasting memory of the great actor Pat Morita."

Theismann: I'm not so sure he wasn't the greatest character actor of all-time.

Patrick: What a great, great actor and what a huge, huge loss -- you cannot say enough about it. So long, Pat Morita.

LOL