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  1. #1
    ramsanddodgers's Avatar
    ramsanddodgers is offline Registered User
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    Message Board Post Good Enough to Earn Poster Head Coaching Job

    Message Board Post Good Enough to Earn Poster Head Coaching Job

    A heated message board post left on the Patriots-Dolphins game page on CBS.Sportsline.com following Miami’s surprising upset win has earned the poster – DaPatsRULZ – the job of head coach of the New England Patriots.

    “DaPatsRULZ earned this,” said Patriots owner Robert Kraft, announcing the firing of Bill Belichick. “I was perusing Internet message boards following the loss – as all those in sports management do – and I came across a post that instantly caught my eye with its poor grammar, spelling errors, profanity, random capitalization and sheer quantity of racial and homophobic slurs.”

    But after repeated readings of the post, Kraft was able to extract a wealth of insight he initially missed.



    “You have heard the term ‘childlike understanding?’” said Kraft. “Well, this was similar. The first few times I read his post like an intelligent adult. That’s why I didn’t understand it. But when I simplified it and read it with a retard-like understanding, it was stunningly coherent. The scales fell from my eyes right after I allowed my brain to fall out of my head.”

    Kraft was quick to defend his use of the word “retard.”

    “I realize that is not a politically correct term,” he said. “But before you jump on me for saying it, know that DaPatsRULZ doesn’t mind me using it because he used the words ‘retard’ and ‘retarded’ a combined 34 times in his 200-word post. And 72 times if you include the instances in which he misspelled ‘retard’ and ‘retarded.’”

    Belichick said he was disappointed to lose his job to a message board poster, but knew the day would come eventually.

    “People think my success is due to hard work, a vast football knowledge – even cheating,” said Belichick. “But that couldn’t be farther from the truth. My success is exclusively due to gleaning knowledge from message boards. Everyone knows that’s where the real brains in sports are. I mean, why else did I stink as a head coach in Cleveland? It was pre-Internet. Why else would I be so tight-lipped in post-game press conferences? Because I have nothing intelligent to say until I can get online.”

    DaPatsRULZ says he will quickly get the Patriots back on track in a statement published on the team’s website.

    “Suck it u Pats hatas!” it read. “That won loss iz all u get! Its DaPatsRULZ in charge now! If you thank were not goin all the way this year YOUR RETARDED!”
    SEE! Who says WE don't have the all the asnwers for whatever ails our Rams!!

    (SportsPickle)
    Last edited by ramsanddodgers; -09-28-2008 at 01:18 AM. Reason: Gotsta give credit...

    RnD

    GO RAMS!!

  2. #2
    CaliGirlRamsFan's Avatar
    CaliGirlRamsFan is offline Registered User
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    Re: Message Board Post Good Enough to Earn Poster Head Coaching Job

    My screen thanks you, now where is my windex?
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    Visit myspace.com/polejox

  3. #3
    YodaRam Guest

    Re: Message Board Post Good Enough to Earn Poster Head Coaching Job

    You just had to pull up an article loaded with the word "RETARD"in it didn't you RnD?! How many times do i have to remind people of my disdain for that word?........i'm really starting to develop a complex (and a talent for playing the banjo) from hearing and seeing this word.

    http://www.clanram.com/forums/attach...1&d=1222840660

    Ya'll come back now, Ya hear?!

    http://www.clanram.com/forums/attach...1&d=1222841336
    Attached Thumbnails Attached Thumbnails Message Board Post Good Enough to Earn Poster Head Coaching Job-2606833220_5393dee857.jpg  
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  4. #4
    ramsanddodgers's Avatar
    ramsanddodgers is offline Registered User
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    Re: Message Board Post Good Enough to Earn Poster Head Coaching Job

    Sorry there, bud. Didn't realize the shoe fit so tight on ya!

    Your posts (usually?) are too well formed (if not always thought out) to list you under the never-again-to-be-mentioned word!

    (Not that there's anything WRONG with it)
    Last edited by ramsanddodgers; -10-02-2008 at 12:35 AM.
    RnD

    GO RAMS!!

  5. #5
    YodaRam Guest

    Re: Message Board Post Good Enough to Earn Poster Head Coaching Job

    Quote Originally Posted by ramsanddodgers View Post
    Sorry there, bud. Didn't realize the shoe fit so tight on ya!

    Your posts (usually?) are too well formed (if not always thought out) to list you under the never-again-to-be-mentioned word!

    (Not that there's anything WRONG with it)
    [You're good. YOU ARE VERY GOOD. I'll be watching you.

  6. #6
    ramsanddodgers's Avatar
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    Re: Message Board Post Good Enough to Earn Poster Head Coaching Job

    Quote Originally Posted by YodaRam View Post
    [You're good. YOU ARE VERY GOOD. I'll be watching you.
    Way kewl! I have my very own personal stalker!!
    RnD

    GO RAMS!!

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