“Michael Vick Experience” Lets Fans Live the Thrills of Passing for 148 Yards and 0 T

[Nick]

“Michael Vick Experience” Lets Fans Live the Thrills of Passing for 148 Yards and 0 TD's

Disney Group announced the creation of a new exhilarating theme park ride called “The Michael Vick Experience”, which lets fans of the National Football League experience the adrenaline rush of passing for 148 Yards and 0 touchdowns as the Atlanta Falcons’ quarterback.

The interactive ride, the first of its kind, places you in a simulated NFL game environment. Carried throughout a playing field on a mechanical chair attached to a ceiling, you wow fans with highlight-reel three-yard-runs and underutilize your strong arm by dumping the ball off to fullbacks coming out of the backfield.

“The Michael Vick Experience” will first be offered at the Disneyland® Resort in California, and at Disneyworld® in Florida.

“If you’re a football fan, you’ve probably wondered what it’s like to play in the NFL as an over-hyped quarterback with a career passing rating of 76.8. Well, we’re now giving you a chance to do just that,” said Michael Eisner, Chief Executive of Disney Group.

“From taking off and running instead of checking down to a second or third receiver to completing barely more than 50% of your passes to throwing for less than 150 yards per game, this ride shows off each one of Michael Vick’s seemingly incomparable skills. If you’ve ever wondered why analysts mistakenly call him one of the top 3 quarterbacks in the league, get your hand stamped and buckle up.”


The ride, which costs just $10 (fully day Michael Vick Experience pass costs $60), lets you pick any game on the Falcons 2004 schedule.

Show off your electrifying running skills by rushing for 10 yards as you squeak by the San Francisco *****, or light it up through the air as you pass for 115 yards and get sacked six times in a ****ty win against the God-awful Arizona Cardinals.

“Holy ****ing ****, that was incredible!” said Tim Gaston, seconds after not leading the Falcons to a 27-10 win over the Carolina Panthers. “We put up almost 30 points, and I did absolutely nothing except complete 10 measly passes. The best part of the ride had to be watching Tamp Bay Buccaneers castoff running back Warrick Dunn solidify his role as the team leader by rushing for yet another touchdown. That’s a feeling you just can’t get by watching the game on TV or even going to it. It’s like I was really there, not making a difference. That’s one wild ride. ”

“Whoa! That was insane!” said Derek Conner, who paid $40 to play in each one of the Falcons’ games this year. I can’t believe I just passed for two touchdowns in four games! God, that’s awesome. And the part where all the fans around me gasped for breath and screamed in fright each time I dropped back to pass was incredible! The only way this ride could get any better is if I could fumble two or three times and break a fibula next week against the Lions. I can’t wait to come back!”

The ride, which became an instant attraction overnight, has fans waiting two or three hours in line to play Michael Vick.

“It’s by far our most popular ride in both our parks,” said Eisner. “Michael Vick is one of the best athletes in the world. How he can pass for an equal number of touchdowns and interceptions is beyond me. I mean, he’s so good it’s almost mind-boggling. I go on the ride myself six or seven times a day just to get a feel for what it’s like to fail to recognize a blitz and rush for a gain of - 3 instead of throwing it away. Space Mountain is great, but continuously falling short of expectations is pretty fun too.”

Six Flags America, which had wanted “The Michael Vick Experience” put in its own theme parks, couldn’t afford the costs associated with licensing the ride. Instead, they’re going with a similar, more cost effective solution.

“We’re also interested in giving the fan the experience of being a barely mediocre quarterback, so we’ve teamed up with the Baltimore Ravens to offer our visitors “The Kyle Boller Experience”, said Gene Downing, President of Six Flags America. “You can throw for less than 100 yards in a game, routinely make horrible decisions, and generally just look completely inept out there—all for $5. “It’s a great ride, but I wouldn’t go on it right after eating. Boller’s scrambling ability will make you want to puke.”

[RealRam]

LOL Excellent, Nick!

As exciting and visual as our friend Vick has been -- at times -- I'm afraid he might ended up as a QB flash in the pan, er ... make that the gridiron.

He's certainly a threat but on the other hand, as an effective QB?... :bored:

[Nick]

He sure hasn't been effective on my fantasy team this season.

[AvengerRam]

Sounds like a ride that should be at some crappy Six Flags park.

[ZigZagRam]

Priceless! Michael Vick will be a backup in 2 years.

[HUbison]

Atlanta gets: Michael Vick
San Diego gets: Drew Brees & LaDainian Tomlinson

You don't get to say this often, but...the Chargers FO made the right move on this one.

[evil disco man]

Yeah, only 252 yards passing (2 TD/0 int.) and 115 yards rushing in Denver against that stellar defense. Yawn. Just another day on the job for this poor underachiever, I guess.

. o O (and i started him this week for the first time on my fantasy team with fellow "overrated" qb marc bulger on bye week. what luck!)

[Nick]

Originally Posted by Evil Disco Man

Yeah, only 252 yards passing (2 TD/0 int.) and 115 yards rushing in Denver against that stellar defense. Yawn. Just another day on the job for this poor underachiever, I guess.

You don't think Vick has underachieved this season? Seriously?

[afrightertoo]

Originally Posted by NickSeiler

“Michael Vick Experience” Lets Fans Live the Thrills of Passing for 148 Yards and 0 TD's

Disney Group announced the creation of a new exhilarating theme park ride called “The Michael Vick Experience”, which lets fans of the National Football League experience the adrenaline rush of passing for 148 Yards and 0 touchdowns as the Atlanta Falcons’ quarterback.

The interactive ride, the first of its kind, places you in a simulated NFL game environment. Carried throughout a playing field on a mechanical chair attached to a ceiling, you wow fans with highlight-reel three-yard-runs and underutilize your strong arm by dumping the ball off to fullbacks coming out of the backfield.

“The Michael Vick Experience” will first be offered at the Disneyland® Resort in California, and at Disneyworld® in Florida.

“If you’re a football fan, you’ve probably wondered what it’s like to play in the NFL as an over-hyped quarterback with a career passing rating of 76.8. Well, we’re now giving you a chance to do just that,” said Michael Eisner, Chief Executive of Disney Group.

“From taking off and running instead of checking down to a second or third receiver to completing barely more than 50% of your passes to throwing for less than 150 yards per game, this ride shows off each one of Michael Vick’s seemingly incomparable skills. If you’ve ever wondered why analysts mistakenly call him one of the top 3 quarterbacks in the league, get your hand stamped and buckle up.”


The ride, which costs just $10 (fully day Michael Vick Experience pass costs $60), lets you pick any game on the Falcons 2004 schedule.

Show off your electrifying running skills by rushing for 10 yards as you squeak by the San Francisco *****, or light it up through the air as you pass for 115 yards and get sacked six times in a ****ty win against the God-awful Arizona Cardinals.

“Holy ****ing ****, that was incredible!” said Tim Gaston, seconds after not leading the Falcons to a 27-10 win over the Carolina Panthers. “We put up almost 30 points, and I did absolutely nothing except complete 10 measly passes. The best part of the ride had to be watching Tamp Bay Buccaneers castoff running back Warrick Dunn solidify his role as the team leader by rushing for yet another touchdown. That’s a feeling you just can’t get by watching the game on TV or even going to it. It’s like I was really there, not making a difference. That’s one wild ride. ”

“Whoa! That was insane!” said Derek Conner, who paid $40 to play in each one of the Falcons’ games this year. I can’t believe I just passed for two touchdowns in four games! God, that’s awesome. And the part where all the fans around me gasped for breath and screamed in fright each time I dropped back to pass was incredible! The only way this ride could get any better is if I could fumble two or three times and break a fibula next week against the Lions. I can’t wait to come back!”

The ride, which became an instant attraction overnight, has fans waiting two or three hours in line to play Michael Vick.

“It’s by far our most popular ride in both our parks,” said Eisner. “Michael Vick is one of the best athletes in the world. How he can pass for an equal number of touchdowns and interceptions is beyond me. I mean, he’s so good it’s almost mind-boggling. I go on the ride myself six or seven times a day just to get a feel for what it’s like to fail to recognize a blitz and rush for a gain of - 3 instead of throwing it away. Space Mountain is great, but continuously falling short of expectations is pretty fun too.”

Six Flags America, which had wanted “The Michael Vick Experience” put in its own theme parks, couldn’t afford the costs associated with licensing the ride. Instead, they’re going with a similar, more cost effective solution.

“We’re also interested in giving the fan the experience of being a barely mediocre quarterback, so we’ve teamed up with the Baltimore Ravens to offer our visitors “The Kyle Boller Experience”, said Gene Downing, President of Six Flags America. “You can throw for less than 100 yards in a game, routinely make horrible decisions, and generally just look completely inept out there—all for $5. “It’s a great ride, but I wouldn’t go on it right after eating. Boller’s scrambling ability will make you want to puke.”

What a cheapshot. Questioning the hype surrounding Vick. Sounds like something only a "sports goon" would do. http://www.sportsgoons.com/Vol2_Iss3...rience.com.htm

[evil disco man]

Originally Posted by NickSeiler

You don't think Vick has underachieved this season? Seriously?

Of course Vick has been underachieving this season, but he's still learning a new system and I expected him to struggle, so it's not that big of a shock to me and I know it won't last long. He's just going through a stage, and once he gets comfortable in the system he'll be more consistently effective - and you can't expect him to put up huge numbers each game. Even then, he has a huge impact on the team just by what he brings to the table, and how the defense has to change in order to contain him, freeing up other parts of the offense. Anyway, I suspect most of the negativity comes from the fact that he's a starter on your fantasy team(who's your backup QB?). :P

My main point is not to overreact because of his struggles this year. For those who think he'll be a backup in two years, please come back with that comment in two years and we'll see how he's doing. By the way, the Falcons, with their overrated Vick, will be laughing all the way to the playoffs this year as they stand at 6-2 and have the biggest lead in any NFL division.

[Nick]

Originally Posted by Evil Disco Man

Anyway, I suspect most of the negativity comes from the fact that he's a starter on your fantasy team(who's your backup QB?). :P

Yes, he's a starter on my 1-7 fantasy team and has not performed well for me. My back-up is Drew Bledsoe. I wasn't there for the live draft, which was on a Saturday night at 11pm. I also traded for Jake Delhomme, but I didn't like his match-up this weekend.

[evil disco man]

Originally Posted by NickSeiler

Yes, he's a starter on my 1-7 fantasy team and has not performed well for me. My back-up is Drew Bledsoe. I wasn't there for the live draft, which was on a Saturday night at 11pm. I also traded for Jake Delhomme, but I didn't like his match-up this weekend.

Ah, that sucks. Even if you do pre-draft rankings, the auto-draft teams always seem to turn out crappy. Just for missing a couple drafts, I had to suffer through two years of James Stewart. The agony.

I forgot to mention that I did find the original post funny as hell, but I think you had a little bad timing with it.

. o O (check out www.theonion.com for similarly hilarious articles)