The Typical Dallas Fan

[AlphaRam]

Instrument & Apparatus News, is a publication put out by the Chilton Company of Radnor, Pa. In his regular column in the February 1982 issue, the editor, Terrence Gallagher, had this to say:

"There are three types of people in the civilized world. There are those who love the Dallas Cowboys, those who hate the Dallas Cowboys and those who don't know who or what the Dallas Cowboys are. I call these people Group A, B and C, respectively. I have never met a Group C person, but reliable sources have informed me they do exist—they live mostly along the west bank of the Amazon.
"Group B people are paragons of mankind. They are superior in every way to Group A and Group C.... Group A men (except those living in or near Dallas, who have been brainwashed since birth and have long ago lost all ability to make rational decisions) should be shunned at all costs. They are not to be trusted....

"Let me profile the typical Group A man for you. He is a front-runner. In other sports his allegiance is pledged to the Boston Celtics, New York Yankees, etc. He will be your friend as long as you are doing well and don't need him. But when the chips are down, he'll leave you faster than the city of New York abandoned the Giants for the Jets in the glory days of Broadway Joe. A Group A man will lie about the past. He will, for example, claim to always have been a supporter of whoever is on top at the moment. A Group A man will never take a chance: He is a coward. He will never tell you on Friday what he thinks will happen on Sunday; but he'll always tell you on Monday that he knew....

"Knowing whether a person falls into Group A, B or C is valuable information. If you are interviewing someone for a job, you are not permitted to ask questions relating to sex, religion or politics. But there is no law against asking them their favorite football team. If they are Cowboy fans, don't hire them. Who needs a front-running, cowardly liar?
"Actually, I think all Group A people should be required to identify themselves so that we can more easily avoid them. Nathaniel Hawthorne proposed much the same thing back in 1850. They should wear a scarlet A."

[Tampa_Ram]

lol, nice stuff there.

[laram0]

I wonder how long it will take for the crickets to start showing up this week?

[AlphaRam]

"If a light bulb was out in the hall, he'd screw in a new one and say "Can't beat the Cowboys this way...they don't have this kind of sloppiness.""

Don Klosterman, former Rams GM on George Allen

"Talk to anyone in the league and they'll tell you "We don't care who wins, as long as it isn't the Dallas Cowboys.""

Jack Lambert, former Pittsburgh Steeler

"If there's one team that's going to get a break, it's Dallas. On the officials' calls, on the scheduling, on the Competition Committee, on everything else related to league matters"

All Davis, owner, Oakland Raiders

"Nobody ever beats the Cowboys. They always do something to beat themselves. They never give anyone credit."

John Brodie, former Whiners QB

Dallas fans never feel the Cowboys have lost a game. It's always the referees screwed 'em or the Good Lord looked the other way or something. Their fans don't know football, they just know something's wrong if the Cowboys aren't winning by two touchdowns."

Tommy Brookshier, former CBS broadcaster

"I hate the Cowgirls as much as the Whiners!"

AlphaRam

[blood85]

Instrument & Apparatus News, is a publication put out by the Chilton Company of Radnor, Pa. In his regular column in the February 1982 issue, the editor, Terrence Gallagher, had this to say:

"There are three types of people in the civilized world. There are those who love the Dallas Cowboys, those who hate the Dallas Cowboys and those who don't know who or what the Dallas Cowboys are. I call these people Group A, B and C, respectively. I have never met a Group C person, but reliable sources have informed me they do exist—they live mostly along the west bank of the Amazon.
"Group B people are paragons of mankind. They are superior in every way to Group A and Group C.... Group A men (except those living in or near Dallas, who have been brainwashed since birth and have long ago lost all ability to make rational decisions) should be shunned at all costs. They are not to be trusted....

"Let me profile the typical Group A man for you. He is a front-runner. In other sports his allegiance is pledged to the Boston Celtics, New York Yankees, etc. He will be your friend as long as you are doing well and don't need him. But when the chips are down, he'll leave you faster than the city of New York abandoned the Giants for the Jets in the glory days of Broadway Joe. A Group A man will lie about the past. He will, for example, claim to always have been a supporter of whoever is on top at the moment. A Group A man will never take a chance: He is a coward. He will never tell you on Friday what he thinks will happen on Sunday; but he'll always tell you on Monday that he knew....

"Knowing whether a person falls into Group A, B or C is valuable information. If you are interviewing someone for a job, you are not permitted to ask questions relating to sex, religion or politics. But there is no law against asking them their favorite football team. If they are Cowboy fans, don't hire them. Who needs a front-running, cowardly liar?
"Actually, I think all Group A people should be required to identify themselves so that we can more easily avoid them. Nathaniel Hawthorne proposed much the same thing back in 1850. They should wear a scarlet A."

You can throw Pittsburgh, ***** fans and into the mix as well.

[blood85]

You can throw Pittsburgh, ***** fans and into the mix as well.

At least the ones I've met....

[AlphaRam]

While attending games at their roach-infested stadium, they sometimes give me crap. I can usually shut them up by asking who were their last 5 QBs before Romo.

[TekeRam]

While attending games at their roach-infested stadium, they sometimes give me crap. I can usually shut them up by asking who were their last 5 QBs before Romo.

Drew Bledsoe, Drew Henson, Vinnie Testiverde, um um um... Quincy Carter? One more... ummm... Troy Aikman!

[PARamfan]

That comes from a typical Philadelphia sports fan lol

[AlphaRam]

Drew Bledsoe, Drew Henson, Vinnie Testiverde, um um um... Quincy Carter? One more... ummm... Troy Aikman!

Chad Hutchinson. Actually, Carter lost the job to Leaf and Stoerner in 2001, then gained it back, so the correct answer is Bledsoe, Henson, Testreverde, Hutchinson and Carter. Randall Cunningham was also a QB for the Cowgirls.

[SFCRamFan]

That whole article summed up my step-father and is exactly why we have never seen eye to eye on anything besides a shared hatred for the Whiners...

[GreatestShow99]

Drew Bledsoe, Drew Henson, Vinnie Testiverde, um um um... Quincy Carter? One more... ummm... Troy Aikman!

fmr STL Cardinals pitcher Chad Hutchinson.

[unorthodox1999]

im from TEXAS and cannot STAND tha cowboys, and anybody who says their fans arent ignorant are just as ignorant as their fans lmao...

[atcchris]

It's been very amusing to listen to talk radio here in the DFW metroplex since Sunday. Poooor Cowboys.

[Ramblin` Ram]

i like their Cheerleaders but even them,id like to do some nasty ass stuff too!