The Debut Of The UNFL

[ramsanddodgers]

The Debut Of The UNFL
SportsgraphicMay 8, 2008 | Onion Sports

The Debut Of The UNFL

A New Haven-based investor group recently announced the formation of the United National Football League, saying their 22 professional teams will focus on developing talent when play begins in January 2009. Here are the league's other noteworthy features:

In addition to playing football, UNFL will also be an international peacekeeping force

A pass will be considered complete if a receiver grabs it on the first bounce

Provides a league for those standout high school players too stupid to get into the University of Miami

Trampolines

In the event that a game goes into overtime, the league will automatically go bankrupt

Specially designed protective cup adds hilarious "Boi-yoi-yoinng!" sound to nut-shots

The commissioner's mom just bought this awesome glow-in-the-dark ball, so the league will use that

Can pretty much guarantee Doug Flutie will try out

To increase excitement, scoring, and make games move faster, field will be shortened to 12 yards

Guys will still run around and hit each other, but you will not know their names




The Debut Of The UNFL | The Onion - America's Finest News Source

[laram0]

12 yards.......Where do I sign up. I can run 12 yards without stopping...I think?

[HUbison]

Trampolines

You guys remember that game that was broadcast on USA Network (IIRC) that was sort of a cross between basketball, hockey, and a circus? It was like basketball but played in what looked like a hockey rink and had trampolines in about 6 different places on the cour...er, rink..... er, field......or whatever the flip you call their playing surface.

That was kind of fun, whatever happened to that?