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    The Debut Of The UNFL

    The Debut Of The UNFL
    SportsgraphicMay 8, 2008 | Onion Sports

    The Debut Of The UNFL

    A New Haven-based investor group recently announced the formation of the United National Football League, saying their 22 professional teams will focus on developing talent when play begins in January 2009. Here are the league's other noteworthy features:

    In addition to playing football, UNFL will also be an international peacekeeping force

    A pass will be considered complete if a receiver grabs it on the first bounce

    Provides a league for those standout high school players too stupid to get into the University of Miami

    Trampolines

    In the event that a game goes into overtime, the league will automatically go bankrupt

    Specially designed protective cup adds hilarious "Boi-yoi-yoinng!" sound to nut-shots

    The commissioner's mom just bought this awesome glow-in-the-dark ball, so the league will use that

    Can pretty much guarantee Doug Flutie will try out

    To increase excitement, scoring, and make games move faster, field will be shortened to 12 yards

    Guys will still run around and hit each other, but you will not know their names




    The Debut Of The UNFL | The Onion - America's Finest News Source

    RnD

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    Re: The Debut Of The UNFL

    12 yards.......Where do I sign up. I can run 12 yards without stopping...I think?

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    Re: The Debut Of The UNFL

    Trampolines
    You guys remember that game that was broadcast on USA Network (IIRC) that was sort of a cross between basketball, hockey, and a circus? It was like basketball but played in what looked like a hockey rink and had trampolines in about 6 different places on the cour...er, rink..... er, field......or whatever the flip you call their playing surface.

    That was kind of fun, whatever happened to that?
    "Before the gates of excellence the high gods have placed sweat; long is the road thereto and rough and steep at first; but when the heights are reached, then there is ease, though grievously hard in the winning." --- Hesiod

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