Av's (Unconfirmed) Draft Rumors

[AvengerRam]

I'm finally giving in. Enough with this silly nonsense about only reporting things that have real facts behind them. This is the internet. Apparently, it is entirely acceptable to make stuff up and publish it, knowing full well that you do so with impunity. Heck, you might even get to be an "insider" if you do.

So... in that spirit... here's what I'm hearing from various unnamed league sources:

1. When it comes to Percy Harvin, teams are more concerned with his stupidity than his drug use. Our sources tell us that he failed a drug test at the Combine because he misinterpreted the meaning of being a "high draft choice."

2. Brett Favre is petitioning the league to be declared eligible for the draft, as he has grown tired of retirement.

3. Mel Kiper is Todd McShay's father.

4. Terrell Owens is threatening not to report to training camp if he is denied veto rights on all Bills draft choices.

5. The Detroit Lions have filed for a temporary restraining order to keep Matt Millen no less than 100 miles from the Lions war room on draft weekend.

6. Concerned that he might fall out of the Top 10 selections, Andre Smith has eaten Michael Crabtree, Malcolm Jenkins and Brian Orakpo.

7. Jet fans have already started booing in anticipation of their team's first round pick.

8. ESPN will air a 3 hour special on Friday titled: "Barack's Mock: A Draft of Change."

9. Todd McShay and Nick are half-brothers.

10. A proposal, introduced at the last NFL Rules Committee meeting, that would have given the New England Patriots the first five selections in every round of the draft, was defeated by a slight margin.

[HUbison]

Todd McShay and Nick are half-brothers.

Truly, a brotha from anotha mutha.

[Nick_Weasel]

Hahaha, #6 and #7 are my favorites.

[bruce4life]

hahahhahahaha #8 is priceless.........wow that just made my day

[#39 Fan]

Good stuff, 6 and 7 were Hi-larious

[AtlantaRamFan]

Bravo Avenger, I really did laugh out loud at #6.

[RockinRam]

Number 8 was great.

[GolfnRAMFAN]

#8 cracks me up!

[eric2810]

Number 1 and 8 gave me a real good laugh man, thanks.

[Goldenfleece]

Well, they say imitation is the greatest form of flattery.

Nod if your sources can neither confirm nor deny the following rumou--I mean reports...

• Insiders say that if Brian Cushing goes to the Patriots, the Jets will use a sixth round pick on his dealer.
  
• Alphonso Smith wowed scouts with his cybernetic legs and ability to catch balls blindfolded with both hands tied behind his back, but they still say he's too short to be a starter in the NFL.
  
• Lost among the rule changes at the owners meeting was a new provision by the competition committee that will allow Detroit the option to take a "do-over" on the previous year's draft. The Lions have already announced their intention to exercise this option in 2010.
  
• At his pro day, Jarron Gilbert reportedly backflipped out of a hot tub full of lime jell-o and through a flaming hula hoop.
  
• Although unable to get to the quarterback much in 2008, Ziggy Hood's stock continues to rise because "he's just so darn likable". I'm just kidding, of course. How could anybody not like him in the first place!
  
• Following the Combine, the Football Writers Association of America reportedly asked Andre Smith to give back the Outland Trophy.
  
• To demonstrate he is ready to step in as a top flight receiver in the NFL, Crabtree has reportedly changed his last name to "Numero Uno" (a self-projected draft status) and began holding press conferences in his backyard.

[Nick_Weasel]

• To demonstrate he is ready to step in as a top flight receiver in the NFL, Crabtree has reportedly changed his last name to "Numero Uno" (a self-projected draft status) and began holding press conferences in his backyard.

I like that one