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  1. #1
    BernieM's Avatar
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    BernieM's Mock Draft

    1. San Francisco: Maurice Clarett, RB, Ohio State

    Football is about entertainment. Clarett is the most talked about prospect, so he must be the most entertaining.

    2. Miami: Ricky Williams, RB, Texas

    My sources tell me that Nick Saban said he would consider putting Williams on the roster, so he's the logical choice.

    3. Cleveland: Eric Crouch, QB, Nebraska

    They need a QB, and Crouch is a Heisman Trophy winner, according to Google.

    4. Chicago: Jarrett Payton, RB, Miami

    Google also told me that Payton's father was once a Bear.

    5. TampaBay: Lance Armstrong, Cyclist, USA

    Will help with team stamina.

    6. Tennessee: Cooper Manning, QB

    If Peyton and Eli can make it, why not brother Cooper?

    7. Minnesota: Kate Moss, WR, Hollywood

    When I asked Mike Tice who they'd draft, he said "we really need another Moss."

    8. Arizona: Brenda Warner, Team Nurse, Missouri

    Little known clause in Kurt Warner's contract requires this.

    9. Washington Redskins, Atari Bigby, SS, Central Florida

    My sources assure me that the Skins are targeting "that DB with the name that comes from video games."

    10. Detroit: Carmine Ragusa, DE, Milwaukee

    I've heard they're looking at the big hitter from Wisconsin.

    11. Dallas: Charles Haley, DE

    Cowboys need someone in the mold of a Charles Haley.

    12. San Diego (from N.Y.Giants): Aaron Rogers, QB, California

    With only Drew Brees and Phillip Rivers on the roster, depth at QB is a must.

    13. Houston: Roger Clemens, P, Texas

    Someone told me he'd be back in Houston.

    14. Carolina: Michael Jordan, G, North Carolina

    They like to go with best athlete available strategy.

    15. Kansas City: Rosey Grier, DT, Retired

    Will cap off Vermiel press conferences with stirring rendition of Its alright to cry.

    16. New Orleans: Barry Bonds, San Francisco

    The Head Coach shouldn't be the only steriod user on the team.

    17. Cincinnati: Gordon "Venus Flytrap" Sims, DJ, WKRP

    Local product stays home.

    18. Minnesota: Carrie-Ann Moss, The Matrix

    Can never have too many players named Moss.

    19. St. Louis: Matt Jones, OT, Arkansas

    Jones, the QB who became a WR/TE, will play RT for the Rams.

    20. Dallas (from Buffalo): Jerry Jones, Jr.

    Don't ask.

    21. Jacksonville: Trade Pick for New Logo

    That thing doesn't even look like a Jaguar.

    22. Baltimore: Cal Ripken, Jr.

    Very durable player.

    23. Seattle: Steve Young, QB, BYU

    Desparately want a player who has actually beaten the Rams.

    24. Green Bay: Brett Favre, QB, Georgia

    Seems like best way to ensure that he'll play a few more years.

    25. Denver: Jake "The Snake" Roberts

    Marketing campaign will revolve around "The Two Jakes" theme.

    26. New York Jets: Bennie Malone, RB

    B-B-B-Benie and the Jets!

    27. San Diego: Nobody

    They've picked enough players for now.

    28. Indianapolis: Stockard Channing, WR

    Manning-to-Channing combo will be the stuff of legend.

    29. Atlanta: Michael Vick, QB, Va.Tech

    Could be the next Michael Vick.

    30. Pittsburgh: Emmanuel Lewis, O line

    Every time I talk to a Steeler fan, they always tell me that the O line has not been the same since they lost Webster.

    31. Philadelphia: Terrell Owens, WR

    The only player TO is willing to share the ball with.

    32. New England: William Clinton, Arkansas

    Team of famous cheaters get most famous one of all.


  2. #2
    1st & Goal's Avatar
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    Re: BernieM's Mock Draft

    If the mods are serious about keeping this a quality board then this kind of stuff needs to GO!
    "I was the originator of smack. Some guys rattle with smack; with other guys it rolls right off their shoulders like nothing. "
    -Deacon Jones

  3. #3
    ramsfan1975 is offline Registered User
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    Re: BernieM's Mock Draft

    ok i admit it, in another post i was the nfl expert who suggested mat jones play right tackle....and i disagree about the chargers 2nd pick...i thikn they need a quality water boy for the upcomeing season or there players might get too thirsty...kyle turly is a project at that position but it should be good on his back...

  4. #4
    UtterBlitz's Avatar
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    Re: BernieM's Mock Draft

    :redface: :redface: :redface: :redface: :redface: :redface: :redface: :redface: :redface: :redface: :redface: :redface: :redface: :redface: :redface: :redface: :redface: :redface: :redface: :redface: :redface:

    I think this Bernie guy is funny. I am starting to like him.


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    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  5. #5
    psycho9985's Avatar
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    Re: BernieM's Mock Draft

    I think the Biqueens need to draft a boatload.:tongue:
    Last edited by psycho9985; -02-02-2006 at 10:14 PM.
    My heart beats crazy and my blood runs wild

  6. #6
    ZigZagRam's Avatar
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    Re: BernieM's Mock Draft

    If the mods are serious about keeping this a quality board then this kind of stuff needs to GO!
    ...and if the mods are serious about keeping a lighthearted sense of humor on the board, with the absence of crotchety old ladies, then this stuff should stay.

    If you don't like it. Don't read it. It's that simple.

  7. #7
    Tony Soprano's Avatar
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    Re: BernieM's Mock Draft

    I would NOT complain if the Rams traded back to around 28th slot (first round) and take Matt Jones. He is a talent that could used in multiple ways..

    I can't see a coach like Bill Cowher utilizing Jones the correct way. Martz, on the other hand, could use him to punish the opposition repeatedly and exploit the mismatches.. Now, that would open up the running game.

  8. #8
    psycho9985's Avatar
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    Re: BernieM's Mock Draft

    Quote Originally Posted by Tony Soprano
    I would NOT complain if the Rams traded back to around 28th slot (first round) and take Matt Jones. He is a talent that could used in multiple ways..

    I can't see a coach like Bill Cowher utilizing Jones the correct way. Martz, on the other hand, could use him to punish the opposition repeatedly and exploit the mismatches.. Now, that would open up the running game.
    Martz?Open up the running game?:tongue:
    My heart beats crazy and my blood runs wild

  9. #9
    AvengerRam's Avatar
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    Re: BernieM's Mock Draft

    Quote Originally Posted by Tony Soprano
    I would NOT complain if the Rams traded back to around 28th slot (first round) and take Matt Jones. He is a talent that could used in multiple ways..

    I can't see a coach like Bill Cowher utilizing Jones the correct way. Martz, on the other hand, could use him to punish the opposition repeatedly and exploit the mismatches.. Now, that would open up the running game.
    Am I the only one who finds it funny that this thread has generated "serious" draft discussion?

  10. #10
    HUbison's Avatar
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    Re: BernieM's Mock Draft

    Quote Originally Posted by AvengerRam
    Am I the only one who finds it funny that this thread has generated "serious" draft discussion?
    We're 9 days from the draft. Anything from beer to large work horses to mandetory selective military service to NASCAR tailgating will find its way back to the NFL draft.
    "Before the gates of excellence the high gods have placed sweat; long is the road thereto and rough and steep at first; but when the heights are reached, then there is ease, though grievously hard in the winning." --- Hesiod

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