BernieM's Mock Draft

[BernieM]

1. San Francisco: Maurice Clarett, RB, Ohio State

Football is about entertainment. Clarett is the most talked about prospect, so he must be the most entertaining.

2. Miami: Ricky Williams, RB, Texas

My sources tell me that Nick Saban said he would consider putting Williams on the roster, so he's the logical choice.

3. Cleveland: Eric Crouch, QB, Nebraska

They need a QB, and Crouch is a Heisman Trophy winner, according to Google.

4. Chicago: Jarrett Payton, RB, Miami

Google also told me that Payton's father was once a Bear.

5. TampaBay: Lance Armstrong, Cyclist, USA

Will help with team stamina.

6. Tennessee: Cooper Manning, QB

If Peyton and Eli can make it, why not brother Cooper?

7. Minnesota: Kate Moss, WR, Hollywood

When I asked Mike Tice who they'd draft, he said "we really need another Moss."

8. Arizona: Brenda Warner, Team Nurse, Missouri

Little known clause in Kurt Warner's contract requires this.

9. Washington Redskins, Atari Bigby, SS, Central Florida

My sources assure me that the Skins are targeting "that DB with the name that comes from video games."

10. Detroit: Carmine Ragusa, DE, Milwaukee

I've heard they're looking at the big hitter from Wisconsin.

11. Dallas: Charles Haley, DE

Cowboys need someone in the mold of a Charles Haley.

12. San Diego (from N.Y.Giants): Aaron Rogers, QB, California

With only Drew Brees and Phillip Rivers on the roster, depth at QB is a must.

13. Houston: Roger Clemens, P, Texas

Someone told me he'd be back in Houston.

14. Carolina: Michael Jordan, G, North Carolina

They like to go with best athlete available strategy.

15. Kansas City: Rosey Grier, DT, Retired

Will cap off Vermiel press conferences with stirring rendition of Its alright to cry.

16. New Orleans: Barry Bonds, San Francisco

The Head Coach shouldn't be the only steriod user on the team.

17. Cincinnati: Gordon "Venus Flytrap" Sims, DJ, WKRP

Local product stays home.

18. Minnesota: Carrie-Ann Moss, The Matrix

Can never have too many players named Moss.

19. St. Louis: Matt Jones, OT, Arkansas

Jones, the QB who became a WR/TE, will play RT for the Rams.

20. Dallas (from Buffalo): Jerry Jones, Jr.

Don't ask.

21. Jacksonville: Trade Pick for New Logo

That thing doesn't even look like a Jaguar.

22. Baltimore: Cal Ripken, Jr.

Very durable player.

23. Seattle: Steve Young, QB, BYU

Desparately want a player who has actually beaten the Rams.

24. Green Bay: Brett Favre, QB, Georgia

Seems like best way to ensure that he'll play a few more years.

25. Denver: Jake "The Snake" Roberts

Marketing campaign will revolve around "The Two Jakes" theme.

26. New York Jets: Bennie Malone, RB

B-B-B-Benie and the Jets!

27. San Diego: Nobody

They've picked enough players for now.

28. Indianapolis: Stockard Channing, WR

Manning-to-Channing combo will be the stuff of legend.

29. Atlanta: Michael Vick, QB, Va.Tech

Could be the next Michael Vick.

30. Pittsburgh: Emmanuel Lewis, O line

Every time I talk to a Steeler fan, they always tell me that the O line has not been the same since they lost Webster.

31. Philadelphia: Terrell Owens, WR

The only player TO is willing to share the ball with.

32. New England: William Clinton, Arkansas

Team of famous cheaters get most famous one of all.

[1st & Goal]

If the mods are serious about keeping this a quality board then this kind of stuff needs to GO!

[ramsfan1975]

ok i admit it, in another post i was the nfl expert who suggested mat jones play right tackle....and i disagree about the chargers 2nd pick...i thikn they need a quality water boy for the upcomeing season or there players might get too thirsty...kyle turly is a project at that position but it should be good on his back...

[UtterBlitz]

:redface: :redface: :redface: :redface: :redface: :redface: :redface: :redface: :redface: :redface: :redface: :redface: :redface: :redface: :redface: :redface: :redface: :redface: :redface: :redface: :redface:

I think this Bernie guy is funny. I am starting to like him.


:ramlogo: :ramlogo: :ramlogo: :ramlogo: :ramlogo: :ramlogo: :ramlogo: :ramlogo: :ramlogo: :ramlogo: :ramlogo: :ramlogo: :ramlogo: :ramlogo: :ramlogo: :ramlogo: :ramlogo: :ramlogo: :ramlogo:

[psycho9985]

I think the Biqueens need to draft a boatload.:tongue:

[ZigZagRam]

If the mods are serious about keeping this a quality board then this kind of stuff needs to GO!

...and if the mods are serious about keeping a lighthearted sense of humor on the board, with the absence of crotchety old ladies, then this stuff should stay.

If you don't like it. Don't read it. It's that simple.

[Tony Soprano]

I would NOT complain if the Rams traded back to around 28th slot (first round) and take Matt Jones. He is a talent that could used in multiple ways..

I can't see a coach like Bill Cowher utilizing Jones the correct way. Martz, on the other hand, could use him to punish the opposition repeatedly and exploit the mismatches.. Now, that would open up the running game.

[psycho9985]

I would NOT complain if the Rams traded back to around 28th slot (first round) and take Matt Jones. He is a talent that could used in multiple ways..

I can't see a coach like Bill Cowher utilizing Jones the correct way. Martz, on the other hand, could use him to punish the opposition repeatedly and exploit the mismatches.. Now, that would open up the running game.

Martz?Open up the running game?:tongue:

[AvengerRam]

I would NOT complain if the Rams traded back to around 28th slot (first round) and take Matt Jones. He is a talent that could used in multiple ways..

I can't see a coach like Bill Cowher utilizing Jones the correct way. Martz, on the other hand, could use him to punish the opposition repeatedly and exploit the mismatches.. Now, that would open up the running game.

Am I the only one who finds it funny that this thread has generated "serious" draft discussion?

[HUbison]

Am I the only one who finds it funny that this thread has generated "serious" draft discussion?

We're 9 days from the draft. Anything from beer to large work horses to mandetory selective military service to NASCAR tailgating will find its way back to the NFL draft.