Oft in times of troubling questions, I turn to the Good Book for answers. And since I haven't been able to eat or sleep for the past several nights (that's an exaggeration......no, hyperbole......no, it's actually a lie; I can eat and sleep through anything) worrying about what the Rams should do in the draft, I decided to see what the Bible had to say about the Rams choices.
I figure there's 3 choices for the Rams: Claiborne, Blackmon, or Richardson. Surely, the Bible will point towards one of them.
First up: Richardson.This passage leads me to believe that Richardson will be the choice. Trent is a Latin name which means "rushing waters". And earlier, in Genesis 29, there is mention of Jacob watering his sheep. Therefore Trent = Jacob. Now, notice how Jacob (ie. Trent) deceived Laban. Laban, or rather.....Saban! When he was recruited Richardson told Nick Saban he was going to be there for 4 years. He then "deceived" him by coming out this year, which is to say "not telling him he was running away". And what kind of people are we talking about here? Arameans. That's right....A-Ram-eans. So, to sum up Trent ran away from Saban and will now be A Ram.Quote:
Originally Posted by Genesis 31:20
Next up: Claiborne.This passage is from the story of Noah and the great flood. Again, we go back to linguistics to decipher our answer. The Anglicized version of Maurice (Muirgheas) means "seafarer" or sailor. Just as Noah was the first nautical adventurer, Maurice, the modern seafarer, now travels over the "high mountains under the entire heavens" which "were covered." And who covers for the Rams on the football field? A cornerback; specifically, Maurice "seafarer" Claiborne.Quote:
Originally Posted by Genesis 7:19
Finally: Blackmon.Here we have a passage describing some rules for the Israelites, dealing with the cities of refuge to be established. How it pertains to the Rams is within the single quoted verse. The people are ordered to NOT move the boundaries established by their predecessors. That is to say, this Rams offense must move the ball over the same 100 yard field in the ED Dome that the GSOT (predecessors) had established. But notice when the discussion moves to inheritance the tone changes from past tense to present tense; from the GSOT predecessors to the modern Bradford-led offense. And how are the people to obtain that inheritance? By "receiving" it. Receiving it with a Receiver.....Justin Blackmon.Quote:
Originally Posted by Deuteronomy 19:14
So there you have it, folks. It is clearly God's will for the Rams to take.......um, Blackmon.......or maybe Claiborne........or possibly Richardson.
Wow. Esau gave up his birthright and inheritance for a bowl of soup. Man, he really traded down on that one.Quote:
Originally Posted by Genesis 25: 33,34
(gulp) Did I say "trade down"?!