Superhero Showdown (Draft Style)

[Goldenfleece]

Announcer: Welcome to the first ever Ram-style Superhero Showdown. Now let's get to the guests.
Announcer: First, he's faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive...Please welcome Vernon "Superman" Gholston.
VG: Truth, justice, and the American Way...but I don't want to hurt anybody. Can't we just have a Mr. Universe contest?
Announcer: No. And now our second contestant: he has been preparing for this day all his life, using wits and every tool at his disposal to triumph over even more powerful opponents...Please welcome Chris "Dark Knight" Long.
CL: I am Batman.
Announcer: That's great, Chris.
Announcer: Now, let's get started. Gentlemen, your nemesis the "Gunslinger" is preparing to launch a bomb. How do you save Arch City?
VG: I fly straight at him and tackle him.
CL: Before he ever arrives on the scene, I will have spent many hours studying me enemy's habits and tendencies I will know what he and his minions plan to do before they even start, giving me the edge I need to stop their plan.
Announcer: Ah, but it turns out the Gunslinger is protected by the giant "Mauler". How will you get past the Mauler to complete your mission?
VG: I'll try to outrun him. He can't keep moving into my way forever. I'm too fast.
CL: I'll use an assortment of techniques to knock him off balance so I can get an inside angle to get to the leader of the enemy force.
Announcer: Uh oh, the Gunslinger has gotten his bomb into the air. What will you do now?
VG: Hopefully, some of my super friends will be back there in support. There's nothing more I can do here. Oh well, maybe I'll get to him next time.
CL: As soon as I see that I won't be able to stop him, I'll have to try to intercept or deflect the bomb to keep it from doing any damage.
VG: Hey, no fair. I didn't know that was an option.
Announcer: Alright, final test. Time to find out who wants to win worse. First one on to the field wins.
(The contestants race off towards the field. "Superman" Gholston takes an early lead...)
CL: Hey, Vern, did you hear about the weight room at this facility. I'll bet it's even better than OSU's! But it's the other way.
VG: Nooo! My kryptonite.
(Gholston can't resist and heads to the weight room instead of the football field.)
CL: Looks like I win.
Announcer: Well, so you'd think. But here's the surprise entrant, Glenn "The Hulk" Dorsey.
CL: You can't be serious. He could turn back into helpless Bruce Banner at any time!
Announcer: Well, the doctors say he'll be fine, and that is who the leaders of Arch City supposedly want as their champion...
CL: No way. Who says?
Announcer: You'll have to take it up with J. Jonah Miklasz and company.