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Thread: You Amateur Draftniks Make Me Laugh

  1. #1
    BernieM's Avatar
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    You Amateur Draftniks Make Me Laugh

    When I read all of these mock drafts and pseudo-expert analyses of prospects, I just laugh. Bunch of amateur, weekend warrior, arm-chair Monday morning quarterbacks running around like chickens with their heads cut off trying to figure out something as simple as the draft.

    Well, its simple, I should say… for those who are qualified.

    You see, I’ve been a sportswriter for years. I’ve been to Rams Park more than most of you have probably been to the homes of your closest friends and relatives. I’m was, or am, on a first name basis with Georgia, John, Charley, Jay, Scott, Billy, Skip, Steve, Jeff, Less and Kevin. The people you worship, like Mel Kiper and Mike Mayock, call me for advice.

    So, when I tell you that you all have it wrong, I know what I’m talking about.

    The only question is, how much of my knowledge should I share with you people.

    I, after all, have a 97.8% accuracy rate when it comes to my pre-draft projections. When you’ve been doing this as long as I have, know who I know, and are as smart as I am, its really not hard to see what’s coming.

    So, when I tell you that Luke Joekel isn’t the best OT in the draft, you can take it to the bank.

    When I say that Tavon Austin will be selected by an NFC East team (I’m not going tell you which one because I don’t want to compromise my source), you can be sure its true.

    When I say that Matt Elam is too short, that DeAndre Hopkins can’t separate at the next level, that Jonathan Cooper is overrated, or that Montee Ball is the only potential Hall of Fame player in this draft, its not my opinion… its fact.

    You should be thankful that I grace this board with my presence. Yeah… I said it.

    Now go on and continue with your silly little Insider Mock Draft and your worthless opinions. I’ll just sit back and laugh with the other experts when our truth is revealed.
    Last edited by BernieM; -03-26-2013 at 11:16 AM.
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  2. #2
    sntlouisrams is offline Registered User
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    Re: You Amateur Draftniks Make Me Laugh


    In reply

    "You should be thankful that I grace this board with my presence. Yeah… I said it."

    Somehow this image sums the above statement up.




    Of all worthless opinions on here, ironically most are a better read than this. Also as you are such a widely respected and reliable source with a 97% hit rate on mocks how do you not report nationally or internationally :S or better yet be an inside source for teams so they can know who other teams are drafting

  3. #3
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    Re: You Amateur Draftniks Make Me Laugh

    We can't all be insurance agents. They tend to make the best draft gods.
    "I'm not going to hide my opinions. They're coming to you between 7000-4000 Angstroms for all the world to see. Oh yes, you will be enlightened."

  4. #4
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    Re: You Amateur Draftniks Make Me Laugh

    I also have to say... ClanRam isn't what it used to be.

    I remember when I first met Dez. He barely knew the difference between a QB sneak and a bootleg at that point, but he was receptive to my teachings.

    Then, one day, I said to him, "you should start a Rams message board so that fans from overseas could converse with fans here in the states." Dez didn't really know how, so I wrote the source code for the original forums and designed the site.

    Then, it came time to name the site. Dez suggested "SheepsInKilts.com," but I told him that probably wouldn't draw the right crowd. I told him, it needs to be simple, but still reflect your Scottish heritage. That's when I came up with the name, "ClanRam," and the rest is history.

    Too bad most of you don't meet the standards of our original posters. Its sad, really
    laram0 and sosa39rams like this.

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    Re: You Amateur Draftniks Make Me Laugh

    I don't do much posting around here, mostly a lurker. However after following the ClanRam 2013 Mock Draft, which I thoroughly enjoy by the way and look forward to every year. I have to ask, what's worse a BW or a BM?

    Sheeeeesh!

  6. #6
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    Re: You Amateur Draftniks Make Me Laugh

    You honestly think that about Montee?

    I played high school ball with Montee. I haven't talked to the guy in years, but he was one of the nicest, hardest working people I'd ever met. The things that he has been able to do at Wisconsin have amazed me.

  7. #7
    Randart's Avatar
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    Re: You Amateur Draftniks Make Me Laugh

    I am a relatively new poster here (@ BernieM) can I call you Bern? Ah btw isn't Bern a term for baby in Scottish? hmmm Funny but back on topic, what do you think of players such as Jon Franklin? or Eric Reid, Robert Woods, Tyrann Mathieu & Joe Fauria? Some of my faves in this draft. Also who do you see the Rams being able to draft? If as it sounds we will be beaten to some of the guys we may covet? Thanks oh hallowed creator for your opinions and gracing this board with your comments. One of the only South Park shows I ever watched cause I do enjoy WoW! Your avatar is kinda fun Bern.

    Last edited by Randart; -03-26-2013 at 02:42 PM.

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    Barry Waller is offline Registered User
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    Re: You Amateur Draftniks Make Me Laugh

    Nice try, but I know Bernie Miklasz quite well, he's a mentor to me for 16 years, and that isn't him posting here, it's some fake idiot trying to be funny.

    However, I do know that he thinks most football fans, at least the more vocal ones, are IDIOTS. He says it all the time on his show.

    I can't believe we have a board monitor so worthless to let a fake post on here.
    Last edited by Barry Waller; -03-26-2013 at 03:12 PM.
    Barry Waller

  9. #9
    Barry Waller is offline Registered User
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    Re: You Amateur Draftniks Make Me Laugh

    And by the way, Bernie is NOT a big draftnik at all. Randy Karraker is though and Jim Thomas is a reluctant one. And of course H Balzer knows it all.
    Barry Waller

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    Re: You Amateur Draftniks Make Me Laugh

    Quote Originally Posted by Barry Waller View Post
    However, I do know that he thinks most fottball fans, at least the more vocal ones, are IDIOTS.
    And people wonder why Bernie is so popular around here?

  11. #11
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    Re: You Amateur Draftniks Make Me Laugh

    Quote Originally Posted by Barry Waller View Post
    And by the way, Bernie is NOT a big draftnik at all. Randy Karraker is though and Jim Thomas is a reluctant one. And of course H Balzer knows it all.
    How many drafts do you have to work before they issue you the Secret Draftnik Decoder Ring?
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  12. #12
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    Re: You Amateur Draftniks Make Me Laugh

    Quote Originally Posted by Barry Waller View Post
    Nice try, but I know Bernie Miklasz quite well, he's a mentor to me for 16 years, and that isn't him posting here, it's some fake idiot trying to be funny.
    Don't blame me for the way you are!

  13. #13
    Barry Waller is offline Registered User
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    Re: You Amateur Draftniks Make Me Laugh

    <<How many drafts do you have to work before they issue you the Secret Draftnik Decoder Ring? >.

    I'd say 20

    Also Bernie Miklasz Twitter is @miklasz, not this @bernie crap on here.

    I just hope some people don't think this BernieM ass is real.

    He's just another internet ghoul pretending to be someone else.

    You know like how he pretends to be a 14 year old girl in chatrooms when he's really a 50 year old man.
    Barry Waller

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    Re: You Amateur Draftniks Make Me Laugh

    If only Armen Dacity would show up and clear up all this confusion.
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    Re: You Amateur Draftniks Make Me Laugh

    Okay, show of hands.....anyone think that was the real Bernie? Anyone?? No?

    Anyone not get this 8 year running gag? Oh, I think I see one hand out there.
    AvengerRam likes this.
    "Before the gates of excellence the high gods have placed sweat; long is the road thereto and rough and steep at first; but when the heights are reached, then there is ease, though grievously hard in the winning." --- Hesiod

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