BBQ Rules

[RamFan_Til_I_Die]

BBQ RULES

We are about to enter the summer and BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking activity, as it's the only type of cooking a 'real' man will do, probably because there is an element of danger involved.

When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are put into motion:

Routine...

(1) The woman buys the food.

(2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert.

(3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand.

Here comes the important part:

(4) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.

More routine....

(5) The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery.

(6) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he deals with the situation.

Important again:

(7) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.

More routine....

(8) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces, and brings them to the table.

(9) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.

And most important of all:

(10) Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.

(11) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed "her night off." And, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women....

[AlphaRam]

You, sir, are a man with vision. After one of our female members reads your post, that vision could be in jeopardy.

[RamsFanSam]

You, sir, are a man with vision. After one of our female members reads your post, that vision could be in jeopardy.

Good catch, Jack!

RFTID forgot one thing: The feeling of joy the woman should have for the privilege of bringing her man beer. Not mentioning this could result in the lady being very angry.

[UltimateOreo]

You are god.

[MauiRam]

You, sir, are a man with vision. After one of our female members reads your post, that vision could be in jeopardy.

Uh ... sounds like you have a specific "female" in mind ... Care to elaborate ???

[laram0]

BBQ RULES

We are about to enter the summer and BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking activity, as it's the only type of cooking a 'real' man will do, probably because there is an element of danger involved.

When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are put into motion:

Routine...

(1) The woman buys the food.

(2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert.

(3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand.

Here comes the important part:

(4) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.

More routine....

(5) The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery.

(6) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he deals with the situation.

Important again:

(7) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.

More routine....

(8) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces, and brings them to the table.

(9) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.

And most important of all:

(10) Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.

(11) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed "her night off." And, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women....

You obviously caught me in the act. Either destroy the film or mail it to me, please!

[MOM]

OK, boys, you asked for it....

How are husbands like lawn mowers?
They're hard to get started, they emit noxious odors, and half the time they don't work.

What do you instantly know about a well-dressed man?
His wife is good at picking out clothes.

What has eight arms and an IQ of 60?
Four guys watching a football game.

What's a man's idea of honestly in a relationship?
Telling you his real name.

What's the best way to force a man to do sit ups?
Put the remote control between his toes.

What's the difference between Big Foot and intelligent man?
Big Foot's been spotted several times.

How many men does it take to tile a bathroom?
Two. If you slice them very thinly.

What's the smartest thing a man can say?
"My wife says..."

What did God say after creating man?
I can do so much better.

What's the quickest way to a man's heart?
Straight through the rib cage.

Why are all dumb blonde jokes one liners?
So men can understand them.

What do you call a handcuffed man?
Trustworthy.

Why can't men get mad cow disease?
Because they're all pigs.

What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.

What do you call a man with half a brain?
Gifted.

What do you do with a bachelor who thinks he's God's gift to women?
Exchange him.

Why do female black widow spiders kill the males after mating?
To stop the snoring before it starts.

What should you give a man who has everything?
A woman to show him how to work it.

Why do jocks play on artificial turf?
To keep them from grazing.

Why do little boys whine?
Because they are practicing to be men.

Why do men whistle when they're sitting on the toilet?
Because it helps them remember which end they need to wipe.

And my personal favorite:

Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good looking?
They all already have boyfriends.

[ramsanddodgers]

Hey, I resemble some of those remarks!

At least I'm told I do....

[RamsFanSam]

Mom, be quiet and fetch me another beer, woman!

[UtterBlitz]

Silly, silly thread.....it is a good thing we give you the ability to feel important. If grilling meat on the BBQ makes you feel manly, go for it. Grill away.

I'll take some ribs. Yum.

Very funny quotes Mom.

[ramsanddodgers]

Mom, be quiet and fetch me another beer, woman!

Reminds me of my brother's favorite joke.

How many men does it take to open a beer?

None, it should be open when she hands to you!