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  1. #1
    adarian_too's Avatar
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    In case you were wondering about dumb people ...

    This is supposedly a true story relative to a BWC accident report filed in an Australian BWC-type claims office.
    _____________________________________________

    Dear Sir:

    I am writing in response to your request for additional information for Block 3 of the accident report form. I put "poor planning" as the cause of my accident. You asked for a fuller explanation and I trust the following details will be sufficient.

    I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working alone on the roof of a new six story building. When I completed my work, I found that I had some bricks left over which, when weighed later, were found to be slightly in excess of 500 lbs.

    Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley, which was attached to the side of the building on the sixth floor.

    Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the roof, swung the barrel out and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went down and untied the rope, holding it tightly to ensure a slow descent of the bricks.

    You will note in Block 11 of the accident report that I weigh 175 lbs. Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the building.

    In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel which was now proceeding downward at an equally impressive speed.

    This explained the fractured skull, minor abrasions and the broken collar bone, as listed in section 3 of the accident report.

    Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley. Fortunately by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly to the rope, in spite of beginning to experience a great deal of pain.

    At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Now devoid of the weight of the bricks, that barrel weighed approximately 50 lbs. I refer you again to my weight.

    As you can imagine, I began a rapid descent, down the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth and several lacerations of my legs and lower body.

    Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter with the barrel seemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the pile of bricks and fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked.

    I am sorry to report, however, as I lay there on the pile of bricks, in pain unable to move, I again lost my composure and presence of mind and let go of the rope and I lay there watching the empty barrel begin its journey back down onto me. This explains the two broken legs.

    I hope this answers your inquiry.

    Bill (redacted)


  2. #2
    Mephisto is offline Registered User
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    Re: In case you were wondering about dumb people ...

    another of this stupid letter that you can find on the net... I got around one per week in my mailbox

  3. #3
    adarian_too's Avatar
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    Re: In case you were wondering about dumb people ...

    Quote Originally Posted by Mephisto
    another of this stupid letter that you can find on the net... I got around one per week in my mailbox
    When you say "another of this stupid letter" you mean that the post is 'another example of a stupid letter you find circulating on the net' I got around to understanding what you meant ... and agree ... there is a lot of stupidity on the net.

  4. #4
    HUbison's Avatar
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    Re: In case you were wondering about dumb people ...

    Didn't they do this on an episode of "Mythbusters"?
    "Before the gates of excellence the high gods have placed sweat; long is the road thereto and rough and steep at first; but when the heights are reached, then there is ease, though grievously hard in the winning." --- Hesiod

  5. #5
    Curly Horns's Avatar
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    Re: In case you were wondering about dumb people ...

    LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL


    I have witnessed this kind of stupidity in the construction industry. I am no longer surprised by the things people try and do without thinking.

    Here are a few examples:

  6. #6
    Curly Horns's Avatar
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    Re: In case you were wondering about dumb people ...

    And a couple more examples of stupidity:

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    HUbison's Avatar
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    Re: In case you were wondering about dumb people ...

    Oh great googly-moogly.....please tell me some of those pictures are doctored! Surely there isn't that much dumbosity in the world.
    "Before the gates of excellence the high gods have placed sweat; long is the road thereto and rough and steep at first; but when the heights are reached, then there is ease, though grievously hard in the winning." --- Hesiod

  8. #8
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    Re: In case you were wondering about dumb people ...

    Quote Originally Posted by HUbison
    Oh great googly-moogly.....please tell me some of those pictures are doctored! Surely there isn't that much dumbosity in the world.
    The pic with the guy in shorts standing amongst the guys wearing respirators might be doctored. However the other pictures I have seen many times in safety meetings and they are distributed to construction job-site safety coordinators throughout the country. These are just a sample of the many that are out there.

    I know....it's crazy but true and extremely unsafe.

    5,703 American workers were killed on the job during 2004. An increase for the second year in a row.

  9. #9
    adarian_too's Avatar
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    Re: In case you were wondering about dumb people ...

    Speaking of what's doctored or not, I can't help but recall another favorite story of mine ... this one about a recipe tester.

    _____________________________________________

    Note: Please take time to read this slowly. Revues from the first two judges make the reaction of the third judge even better. Last year's San Antonio Cook-Off Judge #3 was an inexperienced Chili taster named Frank, who was visiting from Springfield, IL.


    Frank: "Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking for directions to the Coors Light truck, when the call came in. I was assured by the other two judges (Native Texans) that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy and, besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted".

    Here are the scorecard notes from the event:


    CHILI # 1 - MIKE'S MANIAC MONSTER CHILI

    Judge # 1 -- A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick.

    Judge # 2 -- Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.

    Judge # 3 (Frank) -- Holy ****, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope that's the worst one. These Texans are crazy.


    CHILI # 2 - AUSTIN'S AFTERBURNER CHILI

    Judge # 1 -- Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight jalapeno tang.

    Judge # 2 -- Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken seriously.

    Judge # 3 -- Keep this out of the reach of children. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face.


    CHILI # 3 - FRED'S FAMOUS BURN DOWN THE BARN CHILI

    Judge # 1 -- Excellent firehouse chili. Great kick.

    Judge # 2 -- A bit salty, good use of peppers.

    Judge # 3 -- Call the EPA. I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now. Get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back, now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting ****-faced from all of the beer.


    CHILI # 4 - BUBBA'S BLACK MAGIC

    Judge # 1 -- Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.

    Judge # 2 -- Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods, not much of a chili.

    Judge # 3 -- I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds? Sally, the beermaid, was standing behind me with fresh refills. That 300-LB woman is starting to look HOT...just like this nuclear waste I'm eating! Is chili an aphrodisiac?


    CHILI # 5 LISA'S LEGAL LIP REMOVER

    Judge # 1 -- Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive.

    Judge # 2 -- Chili using shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.

    Judge # 3 -- My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning my lips off. It really pisses me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. Screw those rednecks.


    CHILI # 6 - VERA'S VERY VEGETARIAN VARIETY

    Judge # 1 -- Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spices and peppers.

    Judge # 2 -- The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and garlic. Superb.

    Judge # 3 -- My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulfuric flames. I **** on myself when I farted and I'm worried it will eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that Sally. Can't feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my ass with a snow cone.


    CHILI # 7 - SUSAN'S SCREAMING SENSATION CHILI

    Judge # 1 -- A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.

    Judge # 2 -- Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment. **I should take note that I am worried about Judge # 3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably.

    Judge # 3 -- You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn't feel a thing. I've lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili, which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava to match my shirt. At least during the autopsy, they'll know what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing it's too painful. Screw it; I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach.


    CHILI # 8 - BIG TOM'S TOENAIL CURLING CHILI

    Judge # 1 -- The perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili. Not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.

    Judge # 2 -- This final entry is a good, balanced chili. Neither mild nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge #3 farted, passed out, fell over and pulled the chili pot down on top of himself. Not sure if he's going to make it. poor feller, wonder how he'd have reacted to really hot chili?

    Judge # 3 - No Report. Believe it or not.

  10. #10
    MOM's Avatar
    MOM
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    Re: In case you were wondering about dumb people ...

    Superior Health InsuranceATTN: Claims Review1423 W. 90th St.New York, NY 05016
    Dear Sir: This letter is in response to your recent letter requesting a more
    detailed explanation concerning my recent internment at Methodist Hospital.
    Specifically, you asked for an expansion in reference to Block 21(a)(3) of the
    claim form (reason for hospital visit). On the original form, I put
    "Stupidity." I realize now that this answer was somewhat vague and so
    I will attempt to more fully explain the circumstances leading up to my
    hospitalization. I had needed to use the restroom and had just finished a quick
    bite to eat at the local burger joint. I entered the bathroom, took care of my
    business, and just prior to the moment in which I had planned to raise my
    trousers, the locked case that prevents theft of the toilet paper in such places
    came undone and, feeling it striking my knee, unthinkingly, I immediately, and
    with unnecessary force, returned the lid back to its normal position.
    Unfortunately, as I did this I also turned and certain parts of my body, which
    were still exposed, were trapped between the device's lid and its main body.
    Feeling such intense and immediate pain caused me to jump back. It quickly came
    to my attention that, when one's privates are firmly attached to an unmovable
    object, it is not a good idea to jump in the opposite direction. Upon recovering
    some of my senses, I attempted to reopen the lid. However, my slamming of it
    had been sufficient to allow the locking mechanism to engage. I then proceeded
    to get a hold on my pants and subsequently removed my keys from them. I
    intended to try to force the lock of the device open with one of my keys; thus
    extracting myself. Unfortunately, when I attempted this, my key broke in the
    lock. Embarrassment of someone seeing me in this unique position became a minor
    concern, and I began to call for help in as much of a calm and rational manner
    as I could. An employee from the restaurant quickly arrived and decided that
    this was a problem requiring the attention of the store manager. Betty, the
    manager, came quickly. She attempted to unlock the device with her keys. Since
    I had broken my key off in the device, she could not get her key in. Seeing no
    other solution, she called the EMS (as indicated on your form in block
    21(b)(1)). After approximately 15 minutes, the EMS arrived, along with two
    police officers, a fire-rescue squad, and the channel 4 "On-the-Spot"
    news team. The guys from the fire department quickly took charge as this was
    obviously a rescue operation. The senior member of the team discovered that the
    device was attached with bolts to the cement wall that could only be reached
    once the device was unlocked. His discovery was by means of tearing apart the
    device located in the stall next to the one that I was in. (Since the value of
    the property destroyed in his examination was less than $50 (my deductible) I
    did not include it in my claim.) His partner, who seemed like an intelligent
    fellow at the time, came up with the idea of cutting the device from the wall
    with the propane torch that was in the rescue truck. The fireman went to his
    truck, retrieved the torch, and commenced to attempt to cut the device from the
    wall. Had I been in a state to think of such things, I might have realized that
    in cutting the device from the wall several things would also inevitably
    happen. First, the air inside of the device would quickly heat up, causing
    items inside the device to suffer the same effects that are normally achieved by
    placing things in an oven. Second, the metal in the device is a good conductor
    of heat causing items that are in contact with the device to react as if thrown
    into a hot skillet. And, third, molten metal would shower the inside of the
    device as the torch cut through. The one bright note of the propane torch was
    that it did manage to cut, in the brief time that I allowed them to use it, a
    hole big enough for a small pry bar to be placed inside of the device. The EMS
    team then loaded me, along with the device, into the waiting ambulance as stated
    on your form. Due the small area of your block 21(a)(3), I was unable to give a
    full explanation of these events, and thus used the word which I thought best
    described my actions that led to my hospitalization. Sincerely,S.C. Anderson
    [SIGPIC]http://www.stickershoppe.com/mm5/graphics/00000001/MLRPANCmini.jpg[/SIGPIC]This is for Randy! GO BRM!

  11. #11
    UtterBlitz's Avatar
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    Re: In case you were wondering about dumb people ...

    Great pictures ferter. It is good to see that the survival of the fittest concept is alive and well.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  12. #12
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    Re: In case you were wondering about dumb people ...

    LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!..................................Bet OSHA had a hay day!.........................How would you like to have been the guy in the toilet??????????.....................LMAOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! As far as the barrel of bricks.....was that a wylie coyote episode????????....................LMAO......................Thanks guys and gals i needed a laugh today!!!!!

  13. #13
    STLRAMSFAN Guest

    Re: In case you were wondering about dumb people ...

    OSHA sometimes stands in the way of improving the gene pool. They impose rules that you would say why in the hell do they even need a rule for that no one would do that. But you know some idiot did it and know they have rules and safety procedures and all types of things that help protect the idiot and weigh down the gene pool.

    I have seen several of these pictures from some safety committees. I really like the one with the idiot under his truck with the wood propping it up.

  14. #14
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    Re: In case you were wondering about dumb people ...

    "Only two things are infinite - the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former." --Albert Einstein

  15. #15
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    Re: In case you were wondering about dumb people ...

    Quote Originally Posted by Evil Disco Man
    "Only two things are infinite - the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former." --Albert Einstein
    At least their out of the gene pool.LOL
    My heart beats crazy and my blood runs wild

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