JavaScript must be enabled to use this chat software. Chuck Norris

Results 1 to 5 of 5

Thread: Chuck Norris

  1. #1
    evil disco man's Avatar
    evil disco man is offline Pro Bowl Ram
    Join Date
    Nov 2001
    Lincoln, Nebraska
    Rep Power

    Exclamation Chuck Norris

    Many of you are probably already familiar with this legendary man as a martial arts champion, master of the Bowflex, and butt-kicking Texas Ranger.

    If you haven't heard of him, watch your back, because he will find you. Remember, what you don't know can hurt you.

    A few examples of the phenomenon that is Chuck Norris:

    [taken from]

    Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

    Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

    Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

    If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris, you may be only seconds away from death.

    Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice.

    Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

    There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.

    The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.

    If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds 'til." After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.

    When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes, ever.

    The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist.

    There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.

    Chuck Norris once bet NASA he could survive re-entry without a spacesuit. On July 19th, 1999, a naked Chuck Norris re-entered the earth's atmosphere, streaking over 14 states and reaching a temperature of 3000 degrees. An embarrassed NASA publically claimed it was a meteor, and still owes him a beer.

    Chuck Norris has two speeds: Walk and Kill.

    In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.

    There are no steroids in baseball. Just players Chuck Norris has breathed on.

    When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.

    Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

    When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.

    Chuck Norris grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.

    Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

    The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Chuck Norris. There were no survivors, and nobody is brave enough to go to the island to retrieve the footage.

    Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

    Chuck Norris doesn't stub his toes. He accidentally destroys chairs, bedframes, and sidewalks.

    Using his trademark roundhouse kick, Chuck Norris once made a fieldgoal in RJ Stadium in Tampa Bay from the 50 yard line of Qualcomm stadium in San Diego.


  2. #2
    Fat Pang's Avatar
    Fat Pang is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Hong Kong
    Rep Power

    Re: Chuck Norris

    He's a legend in his own lunchtime here in Hong kong. There's no beginning to his talent.............

  3. #3
    general counsel's Avatar
    general counsel is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    atlanta, georgia
    Rep Power

    Re: Chuck Norris

    How do you compare chuck norris to steven segal? Who would win that fight?

    Bruce Lee would kick the crap out of either of them.

    ramming speed to all

    general counsel

  4. #4
    jkramsfan Guest

    Re: Chuck Norris

    i think the best thing he has done is work with christy brinkley on that infomercial.

  5. #5
    MOM's Avatar
    MOM is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Springfield, MO
    Rep Power

    Re: Chuck Norris

    If an episode of "Walker, Texas Ranger" CHANGED YOUR might be a redneck...
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]This is for Randy! GO BRM!


Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts