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Thread: Classic Quotes

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    Chiledog's Avatar
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    Classic Quotes

    This came from SI

    More brilliant appraisals of talent (or lack thereof):

    Pitcher Dizzy Dean upon his induction to the Hall of Fame: "I was blessed with a strong arm and a weak mind."

    Stengel on his Amazin' Mets: "They've shown me ways to lose I never knew existed."

    Stengel on his rookie catcher: "I got a kid, Greg Goosen, he's 19 years old and in 10 years he's got a chance to be 29."

    Stengel on Chris Cannizaro: "He's a remarkable catcher, that Canzoneri. He's the only defensive catcher in baseball who can't catch."

    Stengel at a birthday party for bungling first baseman Marvelous Marv Throneberry: "We was going to get you a cake, but we figured you'd drop it."

    Head coach John McKay, during the Tampa Bay Bucs' 28-game losing streak, when asked after a game what he thought about his team's execution: "I think it's a good idea."

    Pith from our national pastime:

    Pitcher Bill "Spaceman" Lee: "Baseball's a very simple game. All you have to do is sit on your ass, spit tobacco, and nod at the stupid things your manager says."

    Seattle Pilots manager Joe Schultz' one-size-fits-all advice to pitchers (from Jim Bouton's masterpiece Ball Four): "Throw him low smoke and we'll go pound some Budweiser."

    The ultimate in motivational speech:

    Coaching legend John Heisman: "Gentlemen, it is better to have died as a small boy than to fumble this football."

    NHL legend Conn Smythe: "If you can't beat 'em in the alley, you can't beat 'em on the ice."

    Words to live by:

    Outfielder Mickey "the Great Gozzlehead" Rivers: "Ain't no sense worrying: If you have no control over something, ain't no sense worrying about it -- you have no control over it anyway. If you do have control, why worry? Either way, there ain't no sense worrying."

    NFL coaching legend Vince Lombardi: "Be fired with enthusiasm or you'll be fired with enthusiasm."

    Pitcher Tug McGraw on money: "Ninety percent I'll spend on good times, women and Irish whisky. The other 10 percent I'll probably waste."

    Dodgers manager Tom Lasorda: "There are three kinds of people -- the kind that makes things happen, the kind that watches things happen, and the kind that wonders what happened."

    Pinch-hitter extraordinaire Smokey Burgess: "I felt pretty good when I got up this morning, but I got over it."

    Life with the Yankees:

    Pitcher Goose Gossage (referring to George Steinbrenner): "Ask the fat man upstairs."

    Pitcher Sparky Lyle, in The Bronx Zoo, describing the consequences of manager Billy Martin telling two reporters that Reggie Jackson and Steinbrenner were made for each other because one was a born liar and the other was convicted: "When George found out about it, it was church."

    Chicago Tribune/Sun-Times columnist Mike Royko: "Hating the Yankees is as American as pizza pie, unwed mothers, and cheating on your income tax."

    On fans:

    Pitcher Bo Belinsky: "Philadelphia fans would boo funerals, an Easter egg hunt, a parade of armless war vets and the Liberty Bell,"

    College football pundit Beano Cook, on the former Iranian hostages receiving lifetime passes to major league ballparks: "Haven't they suffered enough?"
    -

    "Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie', until you can find a rock." Will Rogers

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    Re: Classic Quotes

    Here's some more, not sports related, but still funny!!!

    Words are like bullets -- they're hard to retrieve once they've been fired off. And you can bet these people would take back what they said, if only we'd let them!

    "I would like to live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were ever supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever." -- Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss Universe contest

    "Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life." -- Brook Shields

    "After finding no qualified candidates for the position of principal, the school board is pleased to announce the appointment of David Steele to the post." -- Philip Streifer, Superintendent of Schools, Barrington, Rhode Island

    "I've always thought that under populated countries in Africa are vastly underpopulated." -- Lawrence Summers, chief economist of the World Bank, explaining why we should export toxic wastes to Third World countries

    "I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law." -- David Dinkins, mayor of New York City

    "I've never had major knee surgery on any part of my body." -- Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward

    "Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country." -- Marion Barry, Mayor of Washington, D.C.

    "The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history -- this century's history--We all lived in this century. I didn't live in this century." -- Dan Quayle


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    Re: Classic Quotes

    Good stuff...Here's another:

    "Everyone has a plan until they get hit." - Mike Tyson
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

    SJax, a developing quarterbacks best friend...

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    Re: Classic Quotes

    My favorite comes from John McKay, the first coach of the the Tampa Bay Bucs. When asked, during the team's winless inaugural season, what he thought of the team's execution, he replied "I think that's a good idea."

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    Re: Classic Quotes

    "God I love war. Compared to war, all other human endeavours shrink to insignificance."

    General George Patton

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