I love food. Not just food....decadent food. Death by Chocolate Ice Cream smothered in hot fudge. Bacon. Steak. Krispy Kremes.
To me, vegetables are not food, they are what food eats.
At least, until last week.
I spent six hours in the Emergency Room at the hospital. Seems as though I had carried a cart up a flight of stairs, and when I got to the top, I had a sudden, EXTREMELY painful headache that came on all at once. I had blurry vision, couldn't think clearly, and felt like I would pass out any second.
Right then, I was glad I worked at a hospital.
I don't really remember much of what happened for the rest of the day. I remember someone saying my blood sugar was 85, my blood pressure was way too high, getting a CT scan, then an MRI. They said that I did not have an aneurysm. My vision slowly returned to normal, and my headache slowly faded.
Friday, I got the results from all of the tests that my doctor had done. He said everything was perfect except my blood pressure and my cholesterol levels were both way too high.
Suffice to say, Mom isn't letting me get by with anything. No ice cream, no Krispy Kremes, no T-bones. Real eggs? Nope.
She has me eating things called 'salads'. She discovered a way to cook foods that doesn't involve frying. (I never knew that it was possible!!!) She has me drinking this white-colored water she calls 'skim milk'. Chocolate? Out of the question....
My metabolism has always been high enough that I have to eat about 3000 calories a day just to maintain my weight. Now, instead of a quick death by stroke, I must endure a slow death by lettuce and starvation. The most substantial thing I ingest everyday is one Lipitor tablet.
How can anyone think eating this way is healthy? Rabbits eat food like this. Rabbits are all small and fat, and they don't live long.
Since Mom has me eating like I'm some sort of 'New-Age' weirdo from California, you guys need to do me a favor: If I start acting like some 'New-Age' weirdo, please shoot me for my own good, OK?