Alias: AlphaRam aka Salvador Hernandez aka bigreclman

Name: Jack

Age: 43 (although I read at a 46 year old level)

Location: Broken Arrow, OK

Born: Long Beach, CA

Social Security Number: Hey, screw you guys!

Sign: Libra

Rams Fan: 1960's

Occupation: Technical Writer (even though I type with two fingers)

Married: Yes, to a woman who is misguided about football teams.

Favorite Dance: Time Warp

Children: Adriana, 21, Lauren (deceased)

Favorite Washer: Maytag

Favorite Fish: Catfish

Pets: Cat

Orientation: I have never travelled to the Orient.

Favorite Song: D In A Box

Favorite Cereal: those generic puffed-rice thingies

Favorite food: meat

Use Drugs: No (because then I would post strange stuff)

Favorite TP: Northern Double Roll

Favorite numbers: 13 and 3.14159

Favorite Midget: Tattoo

Favorite Tattoo: Midget

Hobbies: Reading, Rams football, customizing Rams figures, dreaming about the Rams, interpreting dreams about the Rams, interpreting dreams of Rams players about me, Nigerian get rich schemes, teaching my cat to not jump on my package when I use the phone, collecting Rams football cards, collecting books about the Rams, travel by car, mowing the lawn, and making lists about hobbies.

College: Yes, BSME - University of Tulsa

Favorite Power Ranger: the pink one because you have to be tough to run around in pink.

Favorite medication: Demerol

Person You Would Most Like To Medicate: Ex-wife

Favorite Restroom Stall: Handicapped stall - more leg room...that's ironic, huh?

Favorite Handgun: Tie between S&W .44 Mag and Beretta 92FS 9mm

Favorite Painting: Birth of Venus

Favorite NBA Team: Lakers

Favorite Hockey Team: Tulsa Oilers

Favorite Star Trek Captain: James T. Kirk

Favorite Planet: Uranus

Favorite Position: Sleeping on my right side

Favorite City in Alabama: Greenbow

Favorite College Names: Morehead U and Ball State

...to be continued....