One of you guys sent me a PM suggesting I should do one of these, so here it is:
Meet BernieM...a former middle school hall monitor who
became the greatest sportswriter of all time
Favorite Food: lard on whole wheat
Favorite Restaurant: Bobby Joe's Cup-O-Fried-Pickled Pigs Feet
Favorite TV Show: Teletubbies
Favorite Movie: DeathRace 2000
Favorite Actor: The guy who plays Chewbacca
Favorite Actress: The one who played "Big Mama"
Favorite Musical genre: Pan Flute
Favorite Musical artist: Zamphir
Favorite Vacation spot: Hershey, Pennsylvania
Favorite Holiday: Sadie Hawkins Day
Favorite St. Louis hangout: Any Dunkin Donuts
What is your most memorable moment as sportswriter: that one time I was right
How has being a sportswriter impacted other parts of your life? What other parts?
Who do you admire the most in the sports industry? William Perry
Where do you see yourself in ten years? Um... in the mirror?
Do you have any interesting hobbies? I knit toe-jam and belly-button lint sweaters
What advice do you have for kids? Avoid responsibility and accountibility - be a sportswriter!
Where would you most like to visit? The bathroom - how much longer is this going to take?
If you were President of the United States what would you change? tax credits for all Weight Watchers expenses
Who has been your greatest inspiration? Jerry Springer
If you could have dinner with any two people, whom would you choose to dine with (living or deceased)? Mark Twain and the "Time to Make the Donuts" Guy
What lesson did your parents teach you that you will never forget? Righty-tighty, lefty-loosey
What is your nickname? Aveng---um... I mean, the Bernmeister
What would people be surprised to learn about you? I... I... can't read!
If you could trade places with anyone for a day, who would it be? My boss, so I could give myself a raise
Which actor would play you in a movie? The guy who played the Stay-Puffed Marshmellow Man in Ghost Busters
What was your first car? Hot Wheels
If you were stranded on a deserted island, what would you want with you? ketchup
What are you most proud of? I tied my shoes this morning - all by myself!
If you had one wish what would it be? For people to stop calling to me on the street: "Hey, its that fat Scottish guy from the Austin Powers movies!"
What was the worst job you ever had? Summer internship at Thailand escort service
What is one thing that you have never been able to do, but wanted to? See my toes