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Off-Season Flu
It is that time of year, fellow Clanners. Some years we get the vaccine, that shot in the arm, when the Rams make it into the playoffs. That vaccine always seems to help carry us through. This year, that vaccine wasn't available.
The off-season flu has spread throughout the Clan already. Many members haven't posted in weeks, indicating they have lost their voice. Rumors of the draft and predictions of the upcoming season show evidence of fever-induced hallucinations. We sit around and talk about the choking of other teams and how they coughed up their chances to win it all. We discuss a disease that has afflicted other teams, the T.O. virus, and do everything we can to prevent its spread to our community. We have spoken of the rising cost of our medicine (ticket prices). We talk about our chances for recovery...and how our chances are looking up, since we may now have a defensive cure.
After much research, I have compiled a list of suggestions that might help prevent the offseason flu, or at least help those already suffering to recover sooner:
1. Drink plenty of fluids. I find it helpful to drink lots of beer on Sunday afternoons. For some reason, it eases the pain of not having football.
2. Watch a lot of Rams videos. They are not easy to find, but viewing them seems to lift the spirits, and helps restore faith in next season.
3. Fresh Air is important. Unless it is really hot, or you are really lazy, Sunday afternoons are a great time to cut grass, trim trees, paint the house, etc. Of course, getting fresh air will help you ingest those fluids!
4. Exercise is also important. Since warm weather will be here soon, it is time to plan for fishing season. And, fishing is yet another way to get those so-badly needed fluids.
5. Rest. Sunday afternoons are a great time to take a nap, and most wives would rather hear us snore than hear us grumble about not having a Rams game to watch. (Note-some wives grumble, too!)
6. Eat healthy. This means barbecue a lot. Barbecues usually help with the ingestion of fluids, too.
7. Family support is good for you. Remember those tax deductions of yours? That's your family. Get re-acquainted with them by spending time with them. My suggestion? Have them help out with things while you get fresh air...teach them how to cut the grass, paint the house, etc. While you are observing them to make sure they are doing it right, you can always enjoy a few cans of fluids...
8. Don't forget socialization. Off-season flu is NOT contagious. Studies show that maintaining contact with other off-season flu victims aids in recovery. So visit the Clan often, and socialize!
If you follow this advice, dealing with the offseason will be more bearable, not only for yourself, but for all of us.
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Hey, you young whippersnappers, I am NOT old!!! Now GET OFF MY LAWN!
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