*RUMOR* Bengals Add To Front Office

[RamsFanSam]

Unconfirmed reports indicate that the Cincinatti Bengals have created a new front office position. The creation of this position is expected to increase the efficiency of the entire team by eliminating tardiness and abscences of a majority of players.
John Smith will assume the position of Team Parole Officer. By eliminating the need for the players to contact PO's offsite, it is expected that more players will be at work on time.
Cincinatti Police hail the move and state that they believe the reduction of paperwork and caseload will finally enable the city's officers to concentrate on crimes not related to the team. Parole officers all over the state of Ohio are celebrating, as this hiring will enable them to finally take a day off.

[laram0]

Unconfirmed reports indicate that the Cincinatti Bengals have created a new front office position. The creation of this position is expected to increase the efficiency of the entire team by eliminating tardiness and abscences of a majority of players.
John Smith will assume the position of Team Parole Officer. By eliminating the need for the players to contact PO's offsite, it is expected that more players will be at work on time.
Cincinatti Police hail the move and state that they believe the reduction of paperwork and caseload will finally enable the city's officers to concentrate on crimes not related to the team. Parole officers all over the state of Ohio are celebrating, as this hiring will enable them to finally take a day off.

So there will be an increase in Speeding tickets etc..