View Poll Results: What should Kobe Bryant's Jewish Name Be?

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  • Ball Hogenstein

    3 23.08%
  • Dribbler on the Roofie

    2 15.38%
  • Rabbi Jackitupowitz

    1 7.69%
  • (My Son, the) Doctor K

    2 15.38%
  • The Human Chai-light

    0 0%
  • Putz

    5 38.46%
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  1. #1
    AvengerRam's Avatar
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    Suggestions for Kobe Bryant's Jewish Name

    Kobe Bryant: I wouldn't mind being Jewish
    Aaron Kaplowitz, THE JERUSALEM POST Mar. 24, 2006

    Plenty of interesting and shocking words have been spoken in the visitors' locker room at TD Banknorth Garden in Boston during the 2005/06 NBA season, but nothing compares to Los Angeles Lakers superstar Kobe Bryant telling a handful of reporters, "I wouldn't mind being Jewish. I wouldn't mind. Really."
    Bryant, the NBA's leading scorer at 34.8 points per game, was fielding questions from a television reporter on camera about the dearth of Jewish athletes in professional sports. The basketball star, however, was skeptical.
    "Not too many Jews in professional sports? Hmmm," Bryant said. "That sounds kind of weird to me. Who did your research?"
    Reeling from Bryant's caustic tone, the TV reporter changed the topic to MVP talk.
    A Jewish journalist from The Boston Globe, however, wouldn't let the previous topic slide. "We are very good at squash," she insisted, under the impression that she was helping her people's cause.
    "There were three hockey players at my college who were Jewish," she continued.
    "How 'bout that? All on one team," Bryant said, excited.
    "The Red Sox have four Jews including [general manager] Theo Epstein," another Jewish reporter added.
    "What the hell? Who was doing your research," Bryant asked the TV reporter semifacetiously. "Put the camera back on, man. This guy is false man. This guy is lyin'."
    Dolph Schayes.
    Bryant smiles and adds Dolph's son Danny.
    Jon Scheyer, one of Duke University's top basketball recruits for next year.
    "You're getting shot down all over the place right now, buddy," Bryant said. "It ain't lookin' too good for you at all."
    Sandy Koufax. Hank Greenberg.
    "Oh it ain't lookin' too good for you at all," he continued.
    Although there are no Jews currently in the NBA, there are 24 in the National Football League, 18 in Major League Baseball and seven in the National Hockey League, according to www.jewsinsports.org.
    If Bryant, a Catholic, really wouldn't mind being Jewish, he would become the highest-profile athlete to convert to Judaism. Although many believe that baseball great Rod Carew converted when he married a Jewish woman, he never actually "joined the tribe." He did, however, raise his children Jewish.
    But Bryant dispelled the notion of replacing Schayes as the greatest Jewish basketball player of all-time. "I don't know if I'm converting, but if I do, you can definitely add another athlete to the pool," he said.
    And if he does, that's one tip-off Bryant won't be too excited about.
    Okay, Kobe... but I think you're going to need a Jewish name...


  2. #2
    HUbison's Avatar
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    Re: Suggestions for Kobe Bryant's Jewish Name

    Although there are no Jews currently in the NBA
    What?!?!? You tellin' me Moses Malone and Isaiah Thomas aren't Jewish.
    "Before the gates of excellence the high gods have placed sweat; long is the road thereto and rough and steep at first; but when the heights are reached, then there is ease, though grievously hard in the winning." --- Hesiod

  3. #3
    txramsfan's Avatar
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    Re: Suggestions for Kobe Bryant's Jewish Name

    Or Jeremiah Trotter?

  4. #4
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    Re: Suggestions for Kobe Bryant's Jewish Name

    Quote Originally Posted by HUbison
    What?!?!? You tellin' me Moses Malone and Isaiah Thomas aren't Jewish.
    LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL

    :1:

    :1:PLAY EVER SNAP LIKE IT YOUR LAST!!!:1:

  5. #5
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    Re: Suggestions for Kobe Bryant's Jewish Name

    If Bryant is converting to Judaism, maybe he can have his Bris in Colorado!!!!! I'm sure they would oblige!
    Last edited by bigredman; -03-27-2006 at 10:27 PM.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  6. #6
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    Re: Suggestions for Kobe Bryant's Jewish Name

    "Wouldn't mind being jewish"?

    What is he, picking it out of a hat?

  7. #7
    HUbison's Avatar
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    Re: Suggestions for Kobe Bryant's Jewish Name

    Quote Originally Posted by Milan
    "Wouldn't mind being jewish"?

    What is he, picking it out of a hat?
    In this case, he's picking it out of a yarmulka
    "Before the gates of excellence the high gods have placed sweat; long is the road thereto and rough and steep at first; but when the heights are reached, then there is ease, though grievously hard in the winning." --- Hesiod

  8. #8
    AvengerRam's Avatar
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    Re: Suggestions for Kobe Bryant's Jewish Name

    Its funny, because I've always said I wouldn't mind being a spoiled millionaire. Maybe he'd like to trade.

  9. #9
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    Re: Suggestions for Kobe Bryant's Jewish Name

    This brings up an interesting question for me! PLEASE, don't take this the wrong way Avenger (or any one else that has been so open about ones religion) because I know how sensitive you are on the subject.

    What would have been your feelings if someone else would have posted this thread??

  10. #10
    AvengerRam's Avatar
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    Re: Suggestions for Kobe Bryant's Jewish Name

    I would have been fine with it.

    Its Kobe, and his ridiculous statement (as if Jewish people worldwide have been sitting around saying, "Gee, I wish that Kobe Bryant was Jewish...") that are being lampooned here.

    To be honest, the idea wasn't even original. A local sports radio show did this as a joke topic after Kobe made his comment ("Dribbler on the Roofie" is an AvengerRam original, though!).

  11. #11
    RamWraith's Avatar
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    Re: Suggestions for Kobe Bryant's Jewish Name

    I really find it hard to believe that you would have been ok with people taking Jewish names and turning them into things that are making fun of another person. Names like
    Ball Hogenstein
    Dribbler on the Roofie
    Rabbi Jackitupowitz
    (My Son, the) Doctor K
    The Human Chai-light
    Putz

    All are in a Jewish context. Are you making fun of Kobe or the Jewish name.

    Just trying to add a new twist to someone that gets so upset when others take things out of context to make a statement.

  12. #12
    AvengerRam's Avatar
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    Re: Suggestions for Kobe Bryant's Jewish Name

    The only time I've ever expressed upset is when posters have made comments that promote Anti-Semitic stereotypes (i.e. Jews and money; Jews killed Jesus).

    I thought it was pretty obvious that I was making fun of Kobe.

  13. #13
    txramsfan's Avatar
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    Re: Suggestions for Kobe Bryant's Jewish Name

    Make fun of Kobe all you want, he's the best player in the world today. Bar none.

  14. #14
    AvengerRam's Avatar
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    Re: Suggestions for Kobe Bryant's Jewish Name

    Most skilled? Yes.

    Best? No.

    To me, there's a difference.

  15. #15
    txramsfan's Avatar
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    Re: Suggestions for Kobe Bryant's Jewish Name

    Put it to you this way, who else would you rather take the final shot right now to win the game than Kobe?

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