Utterblitz and the anti bagel brigade

[general counsel]

Utter, please provide some additional background on your apparant vehement dislike of bagels. Have you ever had a real new york bagel? Do you dislike all fish or just smoked fish? Did you have a specific bad experience with a bagel? Any particular type of bagel?

Do you dislike all bread products, or just bagels? Inquiring minds want to know, especially at this point in the offseason.

ramming speed to all

general counsel

[ramsbruce]

Wow, it is the offseason. LOL

[UtterBlitz]

Bagels seem to be the bread of choice at work. They have been for years. I started out working in a Jewish accounting firm so I have sampled plenty of bagels and lox.

New York bagels are worlds apart from bagels made elsewhere and I have eaten them in NYC. For me a bagel is too big and boring. I prefer an english muffin. I like the nokes and crannies. They are light and fluffy and great with some butter, or with some egg and cheese. I even like toast better than bagels.

If forced to eat a bagel, I rip out the insides so that it is thinner and I toast them.

There....that should be more than you ever wanted to know about my feelings towards bagels.

[Fat Pang]

English muffins with salted English butter and maybe a preserve of your choice...........excellent.

Bagels are absolutley abominable. White 'gravy' I'll try but Bagels should be banned as unfit for human consumption.

Dry as a bone and as appealing as cardboard.

[RamsFanSam]

Around here there is a convenience store that sells donuts....sometimes they get really stale, and I swear they try to pass them off as bagels.

[coy bacon]

I like bread and butter,
I like toast and jam,
That's what my baby feeds me,
I'm her loving man.

********

Bagel Jam

Bagel, Oh Bagel with the crispy shell
Add lox and cream cheese it tastes so swell!
Put 'em in the oven, can't wait to be done,
Bagels in the morning are so much fun!
Bagel, Oh Bagel so warm and nice
It even tastes good with peanut butter and rice!
Put em in the freezer so they won't grow mold,
I'll keep eating Bagels until I'm old!

Kosher Bagels!
Kosher Bagels!

Bagel, Oh Bagel onion raisin and plain
If I can't have a bagel I will go insane!
Give me lots of bagels I can eat a ton.
But not to much butter or you'll get the runs!
Bagel, Oh Bagel so great for a Jew
If you were a person, I would marry you.
Bagels in the morning bagels at night,
If I died eating bagels it would be alright!

http://www.tradedforwheat.com/kosher/lyrics.html

[general counsel]

FatPang, you are not eating bagels in the right place if they are dry as a bone.

ramming speed to all

general counsel

[psycho9985]

You gotta toast a bagel.Cut it in half,put butter on it,and broil it to light brown,then while hot put Philly cream cheese on it and your choice of meat or fish.

Broiling will make the crust soft,and the butter makes the bread moist and soft.The cream cheese is the


BAMM

[cowboyhater]

I'm originally from the Connecticut, and have had all sorts of bagels thrown at me, from the Lender's Bagels manufactured in nearby New Haven Connecticut to the legendary David's Bagels in Brooklyn, NY.

Fresh, toasted, from the plain to the "everything", with lox (no problem with lox, that's good stuff!), garlic, cream cheese or jam . . . they are just TOO DARN DENSE AND TOO DARN THICK!

Hey, when it comes to cooked starches, the Italians with their apizza and pastas are boss. When it comes to to desserts, the French know their way around delicate pastries (the Italians cling to crunchy biscotti for reasons unknown). Fresh Indian flat breads are heavenly!

But bagels?! Bleagh! I can understand it as a comfort food in the same way that a bologna sandwich is a comfort food. And if the folkks at Hewlett-Packard lock me up for four hours and serve nothing but bagels, fruit and Snapple, I'll eat it rather than starve, but of all the ways to make bread, that is one of the least appetizing.

[AvengerRam]

More for me!

[BernieM]

I like cream cheese on bagels, but lard is just as good and much cheaper. The 10 gallon plastic jars they sell at Costco are good. In fact, I don't even need the bagel. Just give me a big spoon! Mmmmm!

[MOM]

You gotta toast a bagel.Cut it in half,put butter on it,and broil it to light brown,then while hot put Philly cream cheese on it and your choice of meat or fish.

Broiling will make the crust soft,and the butter makes the bread moist and soft.The cream cheese is the


BAMM

You lose me with the fish. Fish is not something I think of at breakfast. Now, a good baked salmon for lunch or dinner, yes, but at 7 in the morning, no.

Everything else sounded yummy....

[MOM]

I like cream cheese on bagels, but lard is just as good and much cheaper. The 10 gallon plastic jars they sell at Costco are good. In fact, I don't even need the bagel. Just give me a big spoon! Mmmmm!

That reminds me of an old MTV game show from the 80's called "Remote Control". They would have a snack break between rounds, and the big snack of choice was Crisco on a stick. Boy, those were the days....