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  1. #1
    psycho9985's Avatar
    psycho9985 is offline Registered User
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    Unhappy What the heck is going on?

    Maybe it's all the TV we're watching, or maybe it's our sugar-loaded diets that do it, or perhaps there's something in the water (besides killer fluoride) that's turning us all into dimwits. Whatever the reason, though - all kidding aside, it's probably a combination of the boob tube and declining education standards - there's no better indication of just how dumb we are than the warning labels found on consumer goods.

    Here are a few of the more priceless examples, as gathered from a couple of different sources on the Internet. Some of these would be hilarious if they weren't so disturbing...
    • "For external use only." -- On a curling iron.
    • "Do not use in shower." -- On a hair dryer.
    • "Do not drive with sunshield in place." -- On a windshield-covering dashboard sunshield.
    • "Do not eat toner." -- On a toner cartridge for a laser printer.
    • "May irritate eyes." -- On a can of self-defense pepper spray.
    • "Eating rocks may lead to broken teeth." -- On a novelty rock garden set.
    • "Do not use orally." -- On a toilet bowl cleaning brush.
    • "Do not use for drying pets." -- In the manual for a microwave oven.
    • "Caution: Remove infant before folding for storage." -- On a portable stroller.
    • "Do not iron clothes on body." -- On packaging for an iron.
    • "Wearing this garment does not enable you to fly." -- On a kid-sized Superman costume.
    • "May be harmful if swallowed." -- On a hammer.
    • "Do not attempt to stop the blade with your hand." -- In the manual for a chainsaw.
    • "Do not use orally after using rectally." -- In the instructions for an electric thermometer.
    • "Not to be used as a personal flotation device." -- On a 6" x 10" inflatable picture frame.
    • "Do not put in mouth." -- On a box of bottle rockets.
    • "Do not use as an ice cream topping." - On a bottle of hair coloring agent.
    Funny, huh? But does this mean someone actually stuck a curling iron where the sun doesn't shine? Or tried to use hair coloring as ice cream topping? Or folded up their baby in the stroller? Or thought their superhero costume granted them the power of flight? Sadly, it probably does.

    These warnings paint the sad picture of two distressing trends in America: First, and already mentioned, is our steady migration toward a condition of intellectual vapidity. Second is our growing tendency to sue others for our own stupidity. That's the fundamental reason these labels exist - to keep people from being able to cash in on their lack of common sense.

    This underscores an even greater problem that's contributing to the deterioration of the America we know: The tendency of our court system to hold the individual blameless, no matter how asinine his or her conduct. Nowadays, it's the product's fault for not having a warning against every irrational or ridiculous thing you could do, the state's fault for not having a sign posted, the restaurant's fault for serving coffee that's too hot.

    Where's our individual accountability? Somehow I must have missed the label warning that read: "Caution: American ideals, identities, standards, education, entrepreneurial rights and legal liability precedents subject to change without notice."

    My heart beats crazy and my blood runs wild

  2. #2
    Chiledog's Avatar
    Chiledog is offline Registered User
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    Re: What the heck is going on?

    This underscores an even greater problem that's contributing to the deterioration of the America we know: The tendency of our court system to hold the individual blameless, no matter how asinine his or her conduct. Nowadays, it's the product's fault for not having a warning against every irrational or ridiculous thing you could do, the state's fault for not having a sign posted, the restaurant's fault for serving coffee that's too hot.
    I could not agree with you more on this. If the trend continues, the U.S will not be a safe place for anyone to consider running a business. After all, one act of stupidity by a consumer, and the business gets hit with a billion dollar law suit. It's high time that the courts begin holding individuals responsible for their actions rather than feeding people's greed and rewarding their irresponsibility or lack of common sense. Lets hope that we can get a couple new justices appointed to the Supreme Court who will put a stop to ludicrous litigation.

    -
    "Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie', until you can find a rock." Will Rogers

  3. #3
    AvengerRam's Avatar
    AvengerRam is online now Moderator Emeritus
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    Re: What the heck is going on?

    My favorite two labels:

    Twizzlers: "As always, a fat free food." - Duh! Its all sugar!

    Kraft Parmesan Cheese - "100% Grated Parmesan Cheese" - well, if you look at the label, you'll see that it is not, in fact, 100% parmesan cheese. So, I guess that the label is intended to mean that whatever crap they put in the container, its 100% grated!

  4. #4
    psycho9985's Avatar
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    Re: What the heck is going on?

    Quote Originally Posted by Chiledog
    I could not agree with you more on this. If the trend continues, the U.S will not be a safe place for anyone to consider running a business. After all, one act of stupidity by a consumer, and the business gets hit with a billion dollar law suit. It's high time that the courts begin holding individuals responsible for their actions rather than feeding people's greed and rewarding their irresponsibility or lack of common sense. Lets hope that we can get a couple new justices appointed to the Supreme Court who will put a stop to ludicrous litigation.

    -
    You have to understand the mindset in Washington D.C.Every lawsuit that involves Money changing hands,will give the Government Tax revenue.
    My heart beats crazy and my blood runs wild

  5. #5
    SFCRamFan's Avatar
    SFCRamFan is offline Registered User
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    Re: What the heck is going on?

    No offense to the legals amongst us, but it is all about the lawyers. Actually, I am referring to the types that advertise on TV about accidents, etc.; the shady types...
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

    SJax, a developing quarterbacks best friend...

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