Two new conspiracy theories

The Potato Heads-- More Humor

by MOM

THE POTATO HEADS

Well, Girl Potato and Boy Potato had eyes for each other. Finally they
got married and had a little sweet potato they called "Yam." Of course,
they wanted the best for Yam. When it was time, they told her about the
facts of life.

They warned her about going out and getting half-baked, so she wouldn't
get accidentally mashed and get a bad name for herself like "Hot Potato"
and end up with a bunch of Tater Tots. Yam said not to worry, no Spud
would get her into the sack and make a rotten potato out of her!

But on the other hand, she wouldn't stay home and become a Couch Potato
either. She would get plenty of exercise so as not to be skinny like her
Shoestring cousins.

When she went off to Europe, Mr. and Mrs. Potato told Yam to watch out
for the hard boiled guys from Ireland. And the greasy guys from France
called the French Fries.

And, when she went out West, to watch out for the Indians so she wouldn't
get scalloped. Yam said she would stay on the straight and narrow and
wouldn't associate with those high-class Yukon Golds or the ones from the
other side of the tracks who advertise their trade on all the trucks that
say, "Frito Lay."

Mr. and Mrs. Potato sent Yam to Idaho P.U. (that's Potato University) so
when she graduated she'd really be in the chips. But in spite of all
they did for her, one day Yam came home and announced
she was going to marry Tom Brokaw.

Tom Brokaw! Mr. and Mrs. Potato were very upset. They told Yam she
couldn't possibly marry Tom Brokaw because he's

just........................

Are you ready for this?.............................

Are you sure? ............................

OK! Here it is! ...............................

A COMMON TATER !!
- Channel: LOUNGE
-05-27-2005, 11:05 PM
Perspecitve....

by mxbrian

Lest we forget what is truly unique about this team. Here is part of it...

In a supermarket, Kurtis the stock boy, was busily
working when a new voice came over the intercom
asking for a carry-out at check register 4.

Kurtis was almost finished, and wanted to get some
fresh air, and decided to answer the call. As he
approached the check-out stand a distant smile
caught his eye, the new check-out girl was beautiful.
She was an older woman (maybe 26, and he was
only 22) and he fell in love.

Later that day, after his shift was over, he waited
by the punch clock to find out her name. She came
into the break room, smiled softly at him and
took her time card and punched out, then left. He
looked at her card and saw her name was Brenda.

Next day, he waited outside as she left the
supermarket, and offered her a ride home. He
looked harmless enough, and she accepted. When
he dropped her off, he asked if maybe he could see
her again, outside of work. She simply said it
wasn't possible. He pressed and she explained
she had two children and she couldn't afford a
baby-sitter, so he offered to pay for the baby-sitter.
Reluctantly she accepted his offer for a date the
following Saturday.

That Saturday night he arrived at her door only
to have her tell him that she was unable to go
with him. The baby-sitter had called and canceled.
To which Kurtis simply said, "Well, let's take
the kids with us."

She tried to explain that taking the children
was not an option, but again not taking no for
an answer, he pressed. Finally Brenda, brought
him inside to meet her children. She had an older
daughter who was just cute as a bug, Kurtis thought,
then Brenda brought out her son in a wheelchair.
He was born a paraplegic with down syndrome.
Kurtis asked Brenda, "I still don't understand why
can't the kids come with us?"

Brenda was amazed. Most men would run
away from a woman with two kids, especially if
one had disabilities, just like her first husband and
the father of her children had done.

That evening Kurtis and Brenda loaded up
the kids, went to dinner and the movies. When her
son needed anything Kurtis took care of him.

When he needed to use the rest room, he
picked him up out of his chair, took him, and
brought him back. The kids loved Kurtis. At the
end of the evening, Brenda knew this was the man
she was going to marry and spend the rest of her
life with. A year later, they were married and Kurtis
adopted both of her children and since then...
- Channel: RAMS NATION TALK
-02-04-2002, 08:19 AM
Classic Supermodel Blonde Moment

by evil disco man

Model's Blonde Moment
Updated: 13:31, Friday May 12, 2006

A supermodel fell out of a coach travelling at 50mph after mistaking an exit door for a toilet door.

It happened as Tatyana Simanava was returning to her seat from the WC.

Instead of opening the door to the passenger area she pulled open the emergency exit.

The 21-year-old blonde was pitched out onto a busy road in the middle of New York.

The driver reportedly spotted her falling out and pulled over.

Miraculously, Ms Simanava was not hit by any passing vehicles.

However, she was rushed to hospital with a suspected broken shoulder and wrist.

Fashion photographer Eric Striffler told the New York Post: "She's a great model... very attractive and sexy in front of the camera.

"I'm very sorry to hear this news. It puts her career on hold for a while, unfortunately."
- Channel: LOUNGE
-05-14-2006, 07:34 PM
Paula Abdul (American Idol)

by laram0

Because of her quirky behavior many rumors have been started about Abdul.

Her response is that she has never been drunk or done any recreational drugs.

She is signed on with American Idol (Simon Cowell) through 2008.

What is it with her then? Very strange individual.
- Channel: LOUNGE
-02-14-2007, 05:32 AM
There she shoots, Miss America.....

by ramsanddodgers

Armed Miss America 1944 stops intruder
The Associated Press
Related Content
Armed Miss America 1944 stops intruder_0
http://www.missamerica.org

WAYNESBURG, Ky. --Miss America 1944 has a talent that likely has never appeared on a beauty pageant stage: She fired a handgun to shoot out a vehicle's tires and stop an intruder. Venus Ramey, 82, confronted a man on her farm in south-central Kentucky last week after she saw her dog run into a storage building where thieves had previously made off with old farm equipment.

Ramey said the man told her he would leave. "I said, 'Oh, no you won't,' and I shot their tires so they couldn't leave," Ramey said.

She had to balance on her walker as she pulled out a snub-nosed .38-caliber handgun.

"I didn't even think twice. I just went and did it," she said. "If they'd even dared come close to me, they'd be 6 feet under by now."

Ramey then flagged down a passing motorist, who called 911.

Curtis Parrish of Ohio was charged with misdemeanor trespassing, Deputy Dan Gilliam said. The man's hometown wasn't immediately available. Three other people were questioned but were not arrested.

After winning the pageant with her singing, dancing and comedic talents, Ramey sold war bonds and her picture was adorned on a B-17 that made missions over Germany in World War II, according to the Miss America Web site.

Ramey lived in Cincinnati for several years and was instrumental in helping rejuvenate Over-the-Rhine historic buildings. She returned to Kentucky in 1990 to live on her farm.

"I'm trying to live a quiet, peaceful life and stay out of trouble, and all it is, is one thing after another," she said....
- Channel: LOUNGE
-04-20-2007, 07:10 PM

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