PUTTING THE SLEEPER TO BED.
By Bill Simmons
Page 2
www.espn.com
After five weeks of the 2006 NFL season, we've only learned 10 things:
1. If you're a QB, and you blow out a knee or smack your body up in a motorcycle accident, definitely take your time coming back. No rush. Seriously.
2. The Bears have a chance to be historically good.
3. The Raiders have a chance to be historically bad.
4. Drew Bledsoe has added a degree of difficulty for blowing big games. In the old days, he'd just throw a back-breaking interception at the worst possible time. But since everyone knows that's coming now, he added a fascinating wrinkle: An improbable play to throw us off and make us forget he's about to blow the game (like last week's fourth-and-18 bomb to Glenn), followed by the back-breaking interception that becomes doubly back-breaking because of the preceding events.
WEEK 5 REDUX
Last week's picks found me on the wrong side of three killer gambling moments:
1. With the Pats giving 10 and headed for a push, Maroney gets a game-clinching first down inside Miami's 20, only nobody tackles him, so he keeps going and it looks like he's going to score ... NO! He gets pushed out at the 4-yard line. That's followed by three Brady kneels.
2. The Browns are getting 8.5 points and trailing by 11. Fourth down, 15 seconds left. Instead of taking one more crack at the end zone, Romeo Crennel sends out the FG team for the cover. This actually happened.
3. The killer of killers: Getting 6.5 points, the Lions are trailing by two at midfield and it's fourth-and-10 with less than 90 seconds to play. Kitna scrambles, two guys pull him down ... and as he's falling, he flips it right to a Vikings lineman, who scrambles untouched for a clinching TD and the cover. I hate gambling.
5. You're not winning a Super Bowl with Brett Favre or Steve McNair. They're both washed up. Hate to be the bearer of bad news, but it's true.
6. San Diego has the most talent in the AFC. Unfortunately, the Chargers also have an uptight coach who runs his team about as loosely as Ted Knight handled his daughters in "Too Close For Comfort."
(Note: Sadly, that show was canceled 21 years ago, making the reference Bermanian for everyone younger than 30. Normally I avoid doing this, but I have two defenses: First, it's the perfect comparison. You really had to see the show. And second, Ted Knight was a comedic genius. So I'm standing by the reference. Now if I only had a clip of me and Glenn Frey standing outside the Hotel California. Back to the column.)
7. If you're getting points with the Lions on the road and covering in the final minute, and the Lions have the ball, and they're driving, and the only way you could ever lose is if Jon Kitna fumbles a touchdown, throws an interception...
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