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Fun with Wiretapping (Pre-Draft Edition!)

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  • #1

    Fun with Wiretapping (Pre-Draft Edition!)

    My team of investigators has been hard at work to bring you inside information through wiretapping. Here’s a sampling of some of the conversations they’ve intercepted:

    This first one was recorded before Donovan McNabb was traded:

    Devaney: Hello?

    <Unknown>: Bradford doesn’t want to play for you! You need to trade your pick!

    Devaney: Who is this?

    <Unknown>: Trust me! He wants to play for Shanahan! He won’t sign if you pick him!

    Devaney: Adam..? Adam Schefter…? Is that you?

    Click

    ---

    This one is from my South Bend office:

    Clausen: Hello?

    G.Tate: How’s it going Jimmy?

    Clausen: Golden! S’up, dog! You know, I’m just chillaxin’ here, reading about all the #%& they’re saying about me on line and in the newspapers. Fools don’t know who they’re dealing with! You know I’m da bomb, and…

    Beep!

    Clausen: Wait a second, G… I’ve got another call… Yo! Jimmy C in the house!

    Devaney: Um… is this Jimmy Clausen? Its Bill Devaney and Steve Spagnuolo from the Rams.

    Clausen: Oh…. Hello Mr. Devaney... Mr. Spagnuolo. It certainly is a lovely day. I hope you are both well.

    ---

    Here’s one from nearby Gainesville, Florida:

    <Unknown>: Good morning. This is the Tim Tebow Foundation for Saving Third World Kittens from Illiteracy. How can I help you?

    Kiper: Um… this is Mel Kiper. I’m looking for Tim Tebow.

    <Unknown>: I’m sorry, Mr. Kiper, but Mr. Tebow is currently carving a shelter for homeless manatees from a slab of limestone. I can fit you in for a ten minute call between his 2:00 lecture on “why lying is bad” and his 3:00 seminar on “leadership through superior talent against weaker opponents.”

    Kiper: Never mind.

    ---

    And… finally, from my Oklahoma office (we were only able to tap one side of the phone line for this one):

    Bradford: Hello? Yes, the shoulder is fine. Yes, I’m sure. Thanks.

    Bradford: Hello? Oh, hello. Yes, of course its good to hear from you again. Yes, I’m certain. No pain at all. Yes, I’m positive.

    Bradford: Hello? Yes, my doctor has cleared me medically. Yes… 100%. Yes, I’m sure!

    Bradford: Hello? Look, how many times do I have to answer this question. Yes, I’m sure… the shoulder is fine! No pain at all! You have to stop calling me about this!!! Yes, I like talking to you too, but enough is enough. I don’t want to talk about the shoulder any more! Okay… okay… love you too, Mom.
    Last edited by AvengerRam_old; -04-08-2010, 10:10 AM.
    Tags: None
  • #2
    Re: Fun with Wiretapping (Pre-Draft Edition!)

    Originally posted by AvengerRam View Post
    Here’s one from nearby Gainesville, Florida:

    <Unknown>: Good morning. This is the Tim Tebow Foundation for Saving Third World Kittens from Illiteracy. How can I help you?

    Kiper: Um… this is Mel Kiper. I’m looking for Tim Tebow.

    <Unknown>: I’m sorry, Mr. Kiper, but Mr. Tebow is currently carving a shelter for homeless manatees from a slab of limestone. I can fit you in for a ten minute call between his 2:00 lecture on “why lying is bad” and his 3:00 seminar on “leadership through superior talent against weaker opponents.”

    Kiper: Never mind.
    Thats gotta be the funniest thing I have ever seen you post, the clausen one was great also.

    Comment

    • #3
      Re: Fun with Wiretapping (Pre-Draft Edition!)

      Here’s one from nearby Gainesville, Florida:

      <Unknown>: Good morning. This is the Tim Tebow Foundation for Saving Third World Kittens from Illiteracy. How can I help you?

      Kiper: Um… this is Mel Kiper. I’m looking for Tim Tebow.

      <Unknown>: I’m sorry, Mr. Kiper, but Mr. Tebow is currently carving a shelter for homeless manatees from a slab of limestone. I can fit you in for a ten minute call between his 2:00 lecture on “why lying is bad” and his 3:00 seminar on “leadership through superior talent against weaker opponents.”

      Kiper: Never mind.



      LMAO this made me laugh so hard, Funniest thing ive seen today

      Comment

      • #4
        Re: Fun with Wiretapping (Pre-Draft Edition!)

        I've always enjoyed your team of wiretappers. Those guys do some good work.
        The more things change, the more they stay the same.

        Comment

        • #5
          Re: Fun with Wiretapping (Pre-Draft Edition!)

          lmao, saving thirld world kittens from illiteracy.

          good ones

          Comment

          • #6
            Re: Fun with Wiretapping (Pre-Draft Edition!)

            Bradford's was probably the msot realistic.....

            Comment

            • #7
              Re: Fun with Wiretapping (Pre-Draft Edition!)

              Omg i literally laughed out loud at this i've never done that before from just reading something!

              Comment

              • #8
                Re: Fun with Wiretapping (Pre-Draft Edition!)

                And I assume the call after Bradford is to the J-Mac Foundation for promoting obesity through Big Mac eating contests amongst physically fit kids? I'm sorry but saving Third World Kittens from illiteracy just made my day.


                ♪ R.I.P. Nujabes ♫

                Comment

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