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The Worst Mock You Will See

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  • The Worst Mock You Will See

    Why is this the worst mock you will ever see? Well because I took all the prospects, put their names in a hat, and pulled them out. That's right, I just thought it would be fun. I used Av's draft board since I don't have one of my own, and since ranking doesn't matter, just a general list of the top prospects was all I needed. Also, I only used 36 cause that's all that fit on one page and I didn't feel like doing any more cutting. (I put a LOT of work into this, right?)

    So now that I have shared my scientific method of player selection, on to the draft!

    1. St. Louis Rams - Golden Tate, WR
    WTF!? This is a horrible pick, Tate #1, you gotta be kidding me!? Fire Devaney and Spags now. I mean I know WR is a need, but we could have waited.

    2. Detroit Lions - Carlos Dunlap, DE
    Geez, well I guess the Lions get help on the D-line, but they continue to suck from poor drafting, just like us.

    3. Tampa Bay Bucs - Brandon Graham, DE
    Oh man, I guess everyone's draft boards were way wrong about who the top D-linemen were. Kudos to the teams for the best smoke screens ever!

    4. Washington Redskins - Mike Iupati, OG
    Strangely enough so far the teams ARE addressing needs, they just are doing it with players who weren't expected to go this high.

    5. Kansas City Chiefs - Everson Griffen, DE
    Alright, well, this one doesn't make a lot of sense, and KC fans are pissed about adding another d-linemen when their team as a whole sucks.

    6. Seattle Seahawks - Jared Odrick, DT
    Not a lot of sense to this one either, not with the top players still on the board. Teams are smoking something

    7. Cleveland Browns - Jimmy Clausen, QB
    Wow, that one is strange, they actually grab a QB which they are said to be targetting, and one of the top QBs! Except didn't Holmgren say he wasn't in love with Clausen? And isn't Bradford still on the board? Ah well, more smoke screens

    8. Oakland Raiders - Demaryius Thomas, WR
    Let's be honest, the only way anyone would be surprised by this pick is if it had made sense, but since it doesn't, no surprise.

    9. Buffalo Bills - Sergio Kindle, OLB/DE
    Eh, could do worse I suppose, but could do better, a lot better

    10. Jacksonville Jaguars - Gerald McCoy, DT
    Finally a big name comes off the board, guess no one likes Suh or Bradford much afterall. And after all that bickering too, we were all wrong.

    11. Denver Broncos - Brian Price, DT
    Really?

    12. Miami Dolphins - Devin McCourty, CB
    Really really?

    13. They who shall not be named - Ryan Matthews, RB
    Well they did want a RB to share the duties with Gore, and by all accounts he is a good one. Plus I heard C.J. Spiller kicks puppies, can't have that.

    14. Seattle Seahawks - Jermaine Gresham, TE
    A little high, but hey, hes a good TE, now if only they had a QB to throw to him

    15. NY Giants - Earl Thomas, S
    I can't argue the value, but I have to question whether S should have come before other positions, and with Berry still on the board.

    16. Tennessee Titans - Joe Haden, CB
    I am getting tired of making comments

    17. Whiners - Eric Berry, S
    ****

    18. Pittsburgh Steelers - Trent Williams, OT
    The Steelers need to upgrade their line to protect their unsuspended QB's. Have to protect their investment!

    19. Atlanta Falcons - C.J. Spiller, RB
    blah blah blah, Atlanta Sucks, etc. etc.

    20. Houston Texans - Russell Okung, OT
    The media thinks the Texans made a good selection with great value, until the Texans announce he will be the place-kicker.

    21. Cincinnati Bengals - Derrick Morgan, DE
    His high potential gets crushed by being on the Bungles

    22. New England Patriots - Dez Bryant, WR
    Wow, it actually makes sense, even though Bryant still being there doesn't.

    23. Green Bay Packers - Jahvid Best, RB
    Too high, but what do I know? Not much apparently.

    24. Philly Eagles - Vladimire Ducasse
    Seriously, they just selected him for his name, it doesn't even matter what position he plays

    25. Baltimore Ravens - Anthony Davis, OT
    Probably makes sense, tired of commenting again.

    26. Arizona Cardinals - Kyle Wilson, CB
    Who cares? The Cardinals will soon realize they are supposed to suck and do just that again.

    27. Dallas Cowboys - Colt McCoy, QB
    America's team gets a homegrown to replace Romo. Romo does kind of suck on average, remember that botched field goal? lol

    28. San Diego Chargers - Dan Williams, DT
    And yet they will once again bow out of the playoffs without going to the super bowl, so sad

    29. NY Jets - Sam Bradford, QB
    This really doesn't make sense. Way to drop the ball Ryan, freakin idiot. At least trade out of the pick.

    30. Minnesota Vikings - Sean Weatherspoon, LB
    I like Weatherspoon, and it is about where he should be drafted, but I am sure there were other guys the Vikes could have used.

    31. Indianapolis Colts - Lamarr Houston, DT
    Don't really care, I want to get to the Rams next pick already

    32. New Orleans Saints - Ndamukong Suh, DT
    **** JUST *****. I mean, *****. ONE PICK AWAY!

    33. St. Louis Rams - Brian Bulaga, OT
    And we continue to suck

  • #2
    Re: The Worst Mock You Will See

    LOL. I guess you could call that the "blind squirrel mock draft."

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: The Worst Mock You Will See

      i thought that was funny as hell berg. thx lol

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: The Worst Mock You Will See

        Interesting. You have the team that took the QB that killed puppies taking the RB you said kicked puppies. I see a trend.

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: The Worst Mock You Will See

          Originally posted by DE_Ramfan View Post
          Interesting. You have the team that took the QB that killed puppies taking the RB you said kicked puppies. I see a trend.
          Rumor has it he also doesn't floss regularly. You have to ask yourself, would I want a guy like that on my team? Gingivitis is serious man.

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: The Worst Mock You Will See

            This is a good laugh! Great job!

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: The Worst Mock You Will See

              Looked like another one of Holts mocks lol..

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: The Worst Mock You Will See

                Ndamukong Suh at 32 is a reach! What are dem Saints thinking?


                Funny stuff.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: The Worst Mock You Will See

                  hahahahah, how did I not see this until now?

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: The Worst Mock You Will See

                    Originally posted by RockinRam View Post
                    Ndamukong Suh at 32 is a reach! What are dem Saints thinking?


                    Funny stuff.
                    Thanks everyone

                    I was really hoping he'd drop, I was actually pretty shocked when he came out 32, but it seemed to be perfect in the end.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: The Worst Mock You Will See

                      Originally posted by berg8309 View Post
                      Thanks everyone

                      I was really hoping he'd drop, I was actually pretty shocked when he came out 32, but it seemed to be perfect in the end.
                      We shoulda traded up to grab him. Shucks. :|

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: The Worst Mock You Will See

                        Originally posted by RockinRam View Post
                        We shoulda traded up to grab him. Shucks. :|
                        Well what do you expect from the team that made Golden Tate the #1 overall pick in the draft??

                        Comment

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