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"Its a Wonderful Ram Life" (Reprint)

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  • "Its a Wonderful Ram Life" (Reprint)

    As we approach the holidays, I thought (much like the constant re-running of the movie which inspired it) I'd repost this story I first posted last year.

    "Its a Wonderful Ram Life"

    It is a dark and gloomy mid-December night.

    On a bridge over the mighty
    Mississippi River, a lone figure looks down upon the icy water below.

    His mood is somber, as he contemplates his next action, the cold air causing the distraction of an ache to his oft-wounded right thumb


    Suddenly, a splash in the water below brings - and the figure is alert once more. "A man is drowning - don't think, just act." And, into the water Kurt Warner – his motivation transformed in that moment from suicidal to savior.

    Upon reaching the bank of the river, Kurt addresses the man for whom he just risked his life. "Why did you jump in?" he asks.

    "To save you." Replies the frail, elderly man beside him. "After all, you were about to jump."

    "How did you...?"

    "I know everything about you, Kurt. I'm your guardian angel, Clarence. And you know what else I know, Kurt. I know you don't really want to kill yourself."

    "I suppose you're right. I guess I just wish I was never a Ram."

    Clarence contemplates this stray thought for a moment, and then proclaims. "Okay, Kurt, you have your wish. A chance to see what your life would be like if you were never a Ram."

    Kurt suddenly finds himself in a small, crowded house. His wife, Brenda is there, though she somehow looks older, more tired, than he remembered.

    "To your credit, Kurt" Clarence, who suddenly appeared, stated "you still have a strong family, even without the Rams. You just don't have the resources you acquired with your success as a quarterback."

    Kurt felt somewhat mixed about this revelation. For him, he never felt he needed all the riches. But seeing Brenda looking old and tired, and knowing how much easier her difficult life had become due to his success on the field, made him somewhat sad.

    A fog descended, and then cleared. Kurt then found himself in the Rams locker room. The team had just lost a game and the players were upset. There was much arguing and even a few scuffles among the teammates.

    "What day is this?" Kurt asked Clarence.

    "It is December of 1999. The Rams have been eliminated from the playoffs. You see Ricky Proehl over there? He will be retiring at the end of this year, frustrated by the team's losing. Marshall Faulk is not in his uniform, as he sustained a major injury trying to carry the team. And over there is Dick Vermiel and Mike Martz. Both coached their last game today."

    Kurt's heart ached. "Won't they rebound?" He asked.

    "Someday. All teams do, after all. But that day is far in the future." Clarence answered. "Now, there's one more thing I want to show you."

    And so Clarence showed Kurt a montage of Ram fans - each lacking the respite and solace of those few days when their beloved team was on top of the world. And though it was only a small piece of each fan's happiness that was missing, in the aggregate the loss was overwhelming.

    "I've seen enough!" Kurt exclaimed. "Take me back, Clarence. I want to be a Ram again. I want to be a Ram again."

    Kurt awoke and found himself in the Rams' locker room. He was wearing his uniform, all too clean from recent games on the sidelines.

    But knowing what he had accomplished, and what he might accomplish in the future, his heart smiled.

    The end.

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  • psycho9985
    Just for fun
    by psycho9985
    There are some funny jokes here.



    WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST

    She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee.

    Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.
    Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.
    Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.
    And her husband is on the back of the milk carton.




    WOMEN'S REVENGE

    "Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase.
    As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.
    "So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked.
    "No," she replied, " but my husband refused to come shopping with me,

    and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally."

    UNDERSTANDING WOMEN

    (A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)

    I know I'm not going to understand women.
    I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax,

    pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root,
    and still be afraid of a spider!

    MARRIAGE SEMINAR

    While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with communication,

    Tom and his wife Grace listened to the instructor,
    "It is essential that husbands and wives know each other's likes and dislikes."
    He addressed the man,
    "Can you name your wife's favorite flower?"
    Tom leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered, "It's Pillsbury, isn't it?


    CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS
    A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and down the aisles.

    The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him.
    He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife.
    She directs him down the correct aisle.
    A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton
    balls and a ball of string on the counter.
    She says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife?
    He answers, " You see, it's like this,

    yesterday, I sent my wife to the store to get me a carton of cigarettes,
    and she came back with a tin of tobacco and some rolling
    papers; cause it's sooo-ooo--oo-ooo much cheaper.
    So, I figure if I have to roll my own .......... so does she.
    ( I figure this guy is the one on the milk carton! )


    WIFE VS. HUSBAND
    A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.

    An earlier discussion had led to an argument and
    neither of them wanted to concede their position.
    As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs,
    the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"
    "Yep," the wife replied, &
    ...
    -08-03-2005, 11:06 PM
  • RamDez
    From the Rams locker room today
    by RamDez
    TYOKA JACKSON STATEMENTS 12-30-2004





    “ To me they sound that way (on whether the criticism of Martz is personal), and to me that’s sad, that’s sad. What kind of journalistic integrity is that, to make blanket statements about a guy’s personality and don’t know him that well? I could talk about you, but I could only critique you as a reporter. Other than that, that’s all I’ve got. When you guys walk out of here, you won’t have people standing out there yelling obscenities at you. You won’t have anybody out there critiquing your job today on national TV, you won’t see it. “



    “If you guys make a mistake, it’ll get edited out, but it just doesn’t work for the rest of us like that. I look at it and I’m thinking, what do these people think, who say these things and have no idea what they are talking about. What do people who never played the game, what are they talking about when they sit and critique people who sit down and work 18 hour days trying to win a football game in the National Football League, and they sit and critique one or two plays?”



    “What are you thinking really? You go home and your day is over and you can come back and talk about something negative the next day. I don’t understand people like that.” “



    (Asked what is “out of bounds for reporters)

    “When you go into “deep” analysis about what you think is going on, but have no clue about what is really happening. Analyze what you just watched, and say, ‘I saw a team that didn’t play well, or I saw a team that maybe didn’t play to its ability’. But when you go further and say, ‘well it looks like they packed it in, or it looks like he lost the team’, what are you talking about?



    How many team meetings have you been in, the people that make these statements? Were you in minicamp? How many times have you come in the weight room, or seen coach come through and have personal conversations with players in the locker room about stuff other than football? Anytime? No. How many times have you seen him put his arm around players and ask them how their kids are?”



    ‘He’s lost them, they don’t want to play for him anymore, they don’t respect him’, I hear that and shake my head. To me it doesn’t sound like that person who’s talking has any idea what they are talking about. I know they don’t. Where is the integrity to not speak about things you know nothing about?”



    ABOUT MARTZ



    “Here’s the point right here. I can’t make a statement and describe a guy, a human being, a man his age, and make you understand who he is over the 4 years I have known him. I think he’s a great guy, he’s an honest guy, he’s a man of integrity. He’s too honest sometimes. He tells you guys things that are too honest, and you guys take it and run with it. He’s an honest person, he’s an...
    -12-31-2004, 01:32 AM
  • RamDez
    From the Rams locker room today
    by RamDez
    TYOKA JACKSON STATEMENTS 12-30-2004





    “ To me they sound that way (on whether the criticism of Martz is personal), and to me that’s sad, that’s sad. What kind of journalistic integrity is that, to make blanket statements about a guy’s personality and don’t know him that well? I could talk about you, but I could only critique you as a reporter. Other than that, that’s all I’ve got. When you guys walk out of here, you won’t have people standing out there yelling obscenities at you. You won’t have anybody out there critiquing your job today on national TV, you won’t see it. “



    “If you guys make a mistake, it’ll get edited out, but it just doesn’t work for the rest of us like that. I look at it and I’m thinking, what do these people think, who say these things and have no idea what they are talking about. What do people who never played the game, what are they talking about when they sit and critique people who sit down and work 18 hour days trying to win a football game in the National Football League, and they sit and critique one or two plays?”



    “What are you thinking really? You go home and your day is over and you can come back and talk about something negative the next day. I don’t understand people like that.” “



    (Asked what is “out of bounds for reporters)

    “When you go into “deep” analysis about what you think is going on, but have no clue about what is really happening. Analyze what you just watched, and say, ‘I saw a team that didn’t play well, or I saw a team that maybe didn’t play to its ability’. But when you go further and say, ‘well it looks like they packed it in, or it looks like he lost the team’, what are you talking about?



    How many team meetings have you been in, the people that make these statements? Were you in minicamp? How many times have you come in the weight room, or seen coach come through and have personal conversations with players in the locker room about stuff other than football? Anytime? No. How many times have you seen him put his arm around players and ask them how their kids are?”



    ‘He’s lost them, they don’t want to play for him anymore, they don’t respect him’, I hear that and shake my head. To me it doesn’t sound like that person who’s talking has any idea what they are talking about. I know they don’t. Where is the integrity to not speak about things you know nothing about?”



    ABOUT MARTZ



    “Here’s the point right here. I can’t make a statement and describe a guy, a human being, a man his age, and make you understand who he is over the 4 years I have known him. I think he’s a great guy, he’s an honest guy, he’s a man of integrity. He’s too honest sometimes. He tells you guys things that are too honest, and you guys take it and run with it. He’s an honest person, he’s an...
    -12-31-2004, 01:32 AM
  • AvengerRam_old
    Check out this nappy-headed hoe!
    by AvengerRam_old
    ...
    -04-13-2007, 09:56 AM
  • mikhal5569
    Titans & Rams Post Game Thoughts A Fans Perspective
    by mikhal5569

    I've had the chance to watch the Rams Titans game a few times and I thoughtI would share a few thoughts on some things that stood out for me.

    First off, this exactly the kind of game the St.Louis Rams needed. Seriously,it’s not exactly one of those games that’s a blast to watch, but if one takes astep back from the emotional aspect of the game and looks at the bigger picture,you will find that this is exactly the type of game that will benefit the Ramsthe most in the future. This type of game is important because, the coaches, theplayers, the media as well as the educated fan base of St.Louis, all walk away fromthis game feeling like it was a loss and not an actual win. That is because allof the said people are smart enough to realize that preseason football isn'tabout winning and losing, it's about evaluating the talent level on the team. Inthe Rams case, just as it is with many other teams, it’s also about trying toslowly incorporate a new system. Now, with that being said, it is important toremember that the St.Louis Rams did indeed WIN the game. Make no mistake, whatappears to be a meaningless preseason game still goes down as a win, and thiswin will eventually be yet another small building block in a young rebuildingteams journey of learning how to WIN GAMES. It's often said that teams learnthe most when they lose games which carries a lot of truth. All I'm saying is,that the Rams get the benefit of learning from the areas where they were deficient,but didn't have to lose the game.

    Now, despite winning the game, the Rams got gouged in two key areas, the rundefense and in pass protection. Run defense has long been known as a weaknessfor this team, and up to last year pass protection was a major area of concernfor the Rams, just ask Kurt Warner and Marc Bulger. IMO, these two areas werejust begging to be exposed. But, if you’re going to have your teams weaknessesexposed, preseason is when you want it to happen. I'm going to start by evaluatingwhat happened with the pass protection.

    As I'm sure everyone knows by now, LG Jacob Bell did not play and LT Roger Saffoldleft the game in the second quarter with a back injury. This resulted in HankFraley starting at LG with Goldberg replacing Saffold in the second. At firstthings didn’t appear too bad with Fraley at LG. That is until I noticed onwatching replays that the Titans weren’t blitzing him very often and as amatter of fact, he literally just sat there looking lost and dumbfounded onmost plays. When Goldberg entered the lineup in the second to replace Saffoldwas when things really got ugly. Adam was completely out played by whoeverlined up in front of him and Hank was literally getting knocked down and pushedto the ground or to the side on almost every single play.

    Hank Fraley does not deserve to be on this team! He has absolutely zeroupside and was an embarrassment on the oline.

    Goldberg is actually a serviceable utility...
    -08-22-2011, 07:36 PM
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