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A Musical Offseason Recap

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  • A Musical Offseason Recap

    To the tune of Don McLean's "American Pie"

    Seems a long long time ago
    I can still remember Sehorn whiffing,
    Steve Smith scoring, then I cried
    And I knew we blew our chance
    To make it back to the big dance
    We barely even salvaged all our pride
    Then February made us shiver
    As Vinitiari again delivered
    More hate for Belichick
    And refs who don't call hand checks
    I can't remember if I cried when I read about
    Tom Brady's ride
    But it always crushes me inside
    The day, a season dies

    But my, my how the time it did fly
    Training camp's around the corner
    Soon the balls they will fly
    Mike Martz's still coach
    and now Bulger's the guy
    Soon the Rams will give it one more try
    The Rams they soon will give it one more try

    Did Kurt read the book too much?
    And were the coaches out of touch?
    Did the Bible make him throw?
    Or did injuries just take their toll
    Will New York give a starting roll
    And can Eli be coaxed to take it real slow?

    Well I know that some of us miss him
    But its time for Marc to sink or swim
    Try to fill some big shoes
    Its his job to win or lose

    Then one night Leonard ran out of luck
    He should not have taken those keys to his truck
    Saw the red lights flash and screamed "Oh f---k!!!"
    And now, he'll again be tried

    We all are singing...

    My my, how the time it did fly
    Can we get through this long offseason
    Soon the balls they will fly
    Martz still is here
    and Marshall's still the guy
    Soon the Blue and Gold will be ready to try
    The Rams soon will be ready to try

    Helter skelter in a draft day swelter
    Steve Jackson fell to St. Louis' shelter
    He's the guy to give us mass
    And Hargrove in round three had class
    he's here to help us rush the pass
    With Jeff Smoker, on the sideline, without grass
    Now the Chiller's Dad's named Ram so we assume
    He'll fit right in, and Shivers too
    When they all get the chance
    To help us get to the big dance
    Can't wait for them to all finally take the field
    And fight for jobs, they just can't yield
    In the season, all will be revealed
    We hope, they picked, good guys


    We love the team in Gold and Blue
    the old players and young ones too
    We look forward to the day
    When we can cheer for a champ once more
    The NFL's best team that we adore
    "We're number 1" are the words that we will say
    They are the greatest of all teams
    We can't wait to see Mad Mike's new schemes
    Marc Bulger the soft spoken
    Faulk and records to be broken
    And the pleyers we admire the most
    Bruce, Aeneas, even DeJuan Groce
    In the Gateway City, give them a toast
    Time for, the Rams, to fly


  • #2
    Re: A Musical Offseason Recap

    Is it the offseason? I couldn't tell.


    • #3
      Re: A Musical Offseason Recap

      Masterful job avenger. Have you considered giving up the law to move to nashville to take up songwriting on a permanent basis. Were you the guy who told shania twain to wear the rams jersey during her concert last year in st louis?

      ramming speed to all

      general counsel


      • #4
        Re: A Musical Offseason Recap

        I'm more of a Boston/Athens, GA/Western New York, Alternative/Folk Rock singer songwriter type than a Nashville type.

        And, to answer your question... I asked Shania to wear that Rams lingere, but she decided on the jersey instead (unfortunately).


        • #5
          Re: A Musical Offseason Recap

          Very well done AV :::thumbs up:::

          Keeping the Rams Nation Talking


          • #6
            Re: A Musical Offseason Recap

            Awesome job, Dude!
            Clannie Nominee for ClanRam's Thickest Poster


            • #7
              Re: A Musical Offseason Recap

              I think we all are missing football about now. When does training camp start? I am ready to hear some Ram news.


              Related Topics


              • Watchdog
                ROLL CALL ( Trolls check yourselves at the door )
                by Watchdog
                As a public service announcement, it is my self-proclaimed duty to inform the few remaining insolents the last ship to salvation is nearly full. Please proceed to the loading dock and make you're escape from the fledging Ram-nation. And as a bonus you will be provided with all the cheese your little whiskery snouts can slobber up. All aboard!
                Bon voyage sell-outs. May the Vikings and the Lions provide stability and peace of mind.

                Shhh, let em go. We need them like Claude needs a hole in his bong.

                Okay, I'll admit there are few paisley-colored, stinky eggs larger than the one the Rams laid on opening day. And I'll go along with the notion that in some alternate universe, karma has confused this team as being the loser of last year's super-bowl. But blow my horn, I know damn well that there is absolutely nothing at all Ram on any part of my Madden '08 cover.

                So what gives?

                As easy as it is to join the "poor-us" pity train, I just don't think it fits well. At the risk of providing a good example with a bad vision, we saw this very same scenario play out with the Seahawks last year at a much higher level.

                Even Ham-bone the witch-doctor couldn't chant Shaun Alexander's broken foot back together, but they persevered all the way to the playoffs on Seneca Wallace's inept shoulders.

                But Watchdog, the Hawks killed us-they always kill the Rams!

                Shut up troll, why aren't you on the boat?

                I really don't think I need to elaborate on my point.

                When you lose four, potentially five starters, some may say that's par for the course.

                When you do it in the space between the first and the second game - well, pardon my french - that just sucks a$$.

                But don't cry - that MO went out with our beloved Dick Vermiel. Think of all the benefits our team can achieve in light of all the tragedy.

                *Marc Bulger will become a better scrambling quarterback by necessity after a few games spent running for his life.

                *The team water-boy has a better chance than ever to become the next Bobby Bouche'

                *Georgia Frontiere can put on her forty-year-old nurse uniform and finally feel like she has a purpose.

                Forgive me for the levity, but it occurs to me that a little lightening up is in order, and a little bit of reason. So let's all take a collective step back and take a look at what we have going for us here.

                Sure we're looking at an extremely unfortunate start to our season, but these are the cards that have been dealt to us. Though it seems bad, this has all the makings of, in the best scenario, a really special story of courage and fortitude. In place of our starters there are many budding first-break tales that could be every bit as reminiscent as the legend of Kurt Warner. There are champions with rings in the locker...
                -09-12-2007, 10:34 PM
              • RamsFanSam
                Where do we go from here?
                by RamsFanSam
                Hello, fellow Rams fans and others. I've got a few minutes between drinking the first pot of coffee and taking out my two dogs, so I thought I'd post a few thoughts on here to ask "what next?".

                In my home, the Rams aren't just a football team. They are a way of life. When an eight year old girl would rather watch the Rams play a game they will probably lose instead of Hannah Montana, then a father knows he is raising a child right.

                So, we have gone from 8-8, to 3-13, to 2-14. We have changed coaching staff more often than some people change their oil. We can't seem to find the answers. But still, on any given Sunday, the Rams can look like the meanest team in the league for 50 or 55 minutes...then somehow, they blow it in the last few minutes of play. When I look back on the Rams teams from the last few years, I remember noticing a slow, steady decline. Sure, there were some bright spots - SJ and Bulger both looked fantastic just two seasons ago, Bartell looked like the miracle man this year, OJ has shined, but overall, the intensity of the entire team has faded. Much of this had to do with injuries - it's hard to keep your runningback in the game and your quarterback upright if your O line isn't blocking anyone. Those rare moments when the O line did mesh provided a chance for a big play, but something seemed to always go wrong. Our WR's had WD-40 on their hands, or a route was run in the wrong direction, or the QB was so gun shy that he just wanted to get rid of the ball before getting hit.

                This year, it was different. We had all the pieces of the puzzle, but the guy who was trying to put it together didn't know how they fit together. Four games into the season, he was let go. The entire team seemed to change overnight. The swagger was back. The players no longer looked afraid of contact. We won a game against a better Washington team and stunned the league. One week later, we made Dallas a laughingstock. (Kind of like the Eagles did last night...hahahahahahahaha!!!!) People actually began to notice us!

                Of course, we all hoped this was the real Rams, but most of us were careful. We'd been burned before, but those guys in Blue and Gold sure looked like winners!

                Reality set in way too soon. We couldn't get a "W" the rest of the season. It sounds strange, but until week 9, we actually had a chance to make the playoffs with a 2-6 record. Of course, we all know how that story ends.

                But are the Rams really as bad as Detroit? No. Not even close. Think about it. Most of the last 12 games, we were within reach of a win for at least half of the game. More than once, we were within minutes of a win - then disaster struck. Each game had ONE pivotal moment that I wish we could take back and do over. Yesterday, it was the onside kick being called back - OK, two moments: the lack of coverage on that long run. Yet, the Rams did not give up - not until...
                -12-29-2008, 07:28 AM
              • RamsFanSam
                OK, convince me!
                by RamsFanSam
                I have read plenty of posts from people saying fans shouldn't look at the bright side of last night's defeat, that instead we should all don sackcloth and ashes, and mourn the death of the 2008 season for our Rams.

                Convince me why I should!

                I watched only the first quarter, but I did listen to the entire game. Of course, the TV broadcast was done by the Titans Network, meaning that the commentary was biased in favor of the Titans. The other 3 quarters was a mix of NFL's gamecenter and KTVI audio, niether of which was very good.

                What I came out of the media barrage I witnessed is the following:

                1. Marc looked a little rusty. Of course, considering that there was only TWO others on the offense who had ever played in Saunder's system, I expected to see some confusion. But, I guess that since Marc didn't launch a 99 yard Hail Mary for 6 on the first possession means that Marc is all washed up. After all, when a reciever isn't in the right place at the right time, it's always the QB's fault.

                2. I also saw a really good defense beat our O-line. Considering that these front five guys have NEVER played a single game together before, We know it's all Pace's fault. He is all washed up, and we should have traded for Jake Long and then overpaid him to take Pace's spot.

                3. I saw 2 passes go long, so long that no one on either team had a chance to get to them. It didn't matter that both times the recievers were double covered and had no chance in hell of breaking away, those recievers must suck, so we should have traded them for some untested rookie. Darn Linehan for drafting someone who has skills that our offense could use instead of some other rookie!

                4. I saw our defense get beat up. Badly. Even though they made a solid stand in the red zone, we know they suck. It doesn't matter that some of our starters were out, we should have beaten the Titans back into the stone age with undersized, inexperienced rookies. It's all Haslett's fault for not having UFA's and rookies available that we can afford.

                5. Our "wannabe's" didn't come back in the second half and win the game. Of course, they have had a whole 90 days or so to forget everything they ever learned about football just to learn football all over again. I forget that other millionaires such as Bill Gates have been there before. Didn't he have to forget everything he knew about Windows 98 to learn Windows XP in just 90 days? He didn't? Oh my. Those rookies and coaches have to go....NOW!

                So, as you can see, I am NOT saying everything will be OK by next week. In fact, I'll be happy if we win 3 of our first 8, and come out 8-8 this season. I know all is not well in St. Louis as of yet, and I didn't expect it to be. Last year I had hope, because everything was in place. This year, we have a tougher schedule, most of our great players are either gone or they are getting...
                -08-10-2008, 03:41 PM
              • RamWraith
                New slogan
                by RamWraith
                With all the recent activity we have had and many people begging to play for the blue and gold I thought it appropriate that we start coming up with some slogans for next season. "Gotta go to work" was big in 99, "Max Q" last year. What do you all think of "We don't rebuild, we reload" for 2002. :eek:
                -03-04-2002, 06:41 AM
              • BrokenWing
                A Dark Road
                by BrokenWing
                Just the other day I was talking to my girlfriend like I am want to do and I mentioned the number of UNC (where she goes to college) players on the Rams and she eventually said I might need to start looking for a new team to follow if they don't start winning soon. I of course dismissed such notions out of hand, not for me the bandwagon fan.

                For awhile, I put thoughts of the Rams aside and focused on other hobbies I have, like painting and putting together my numerous Warhammer 40k armies, coming up with new ideas for my novel and working on various other fictional projects I have going. Today, however, I was driving my mustang and thinking about how my parents were driving me insane today with all their phone calls and indecision and some how, I got to thinking about the Rams again. This time I looked at it from a fresh perspective not colored by my general displeasure with Sunday's game. I came to some conclusions about what the Rams must do going forward, putting my analytical skills as a Historian to use in the process to try and come to a conclusion not colored by emotion or team loyalty.


                What is going on?

                For awhile this season I have thought that perhaps it really was injuries, short off-season and so on. Perhaps we just don't have enough high quality players or maybe it was the Coaching Staff. Then, I read an article on that told me Chris Long, of all people, was talking about how "embarrassing" their run defense had been on Sunday. When is the last time Chris Long spoke out like that? Do you remember the last time Ram players started to speak out (Remember Steven Jackson's comment earlier this season)?

                I remember. It was the last year of Scott Linehan, it was the year of the eye rolls and the shrugs, the year the Coach lost the players. Has Spags lost his players? I think he's starting to. I think it started with Steven Jackson and I don't think it's going to get better. I can present no smoking gun evidence in this matter, but I can simply point you back in time and remind you of what has transpired before and what has been said of late.

                Do I believe we lack the quality players to compete? No. I look to the Bills and Bengals as evidence of this. Both of these teams are playing competitive football with only a few good men. Do the Rams have a few good men? Yes they do, they have Bradford, Steven Jackson, Brandon Lloyd, Chris Long and JL. Are they missing pieces? Certainly, but the same can clearly be said of the two teams I mentioned above. So what's the difference? I would suggest coaching. I think the biggest difference is that this Coach has lost his players and those two coaches have not.


                How do you move forward?

                I have seen people suggest blowing up the team. I think you wait for the year to end before making that decision. If that decision is made however, I suggest keeping Bradford...
                -10-24-2011, 02:46 PM