ASK BERNIE: A new ClanRam exclusive!

[BernieM]

Hey all!

I'm pleased to announce a new feature here at ClanRam: ASK BERNIE!

That's right! This thread will give you direct access to me, the greatest Rams insider in the world. Ask me anything and everything, and I'm sure I'll be able to answer, or at least make something up that sounds official. Seriously, though... keep it civil, or I might just have to ban you from this--

--um... I'm told that I can't actually ban anyone, but still, be nice or I'll come down on you like a ton of bricks (metphorically, that is).

So fire away!

--B

[laram0]

Re: ASK BERNIE: A new ClanRam exclusive!

Hey Bernie,

This is great, thanks for allowing us the opportunity to take advantage of your wisdom.

I have one question:

I'm not surprised that "Gamkon Sado" made the team but keeping Darby over Pittman was a bit of a shock. What happened to Pittman I thought he was going to be our #2 back for a long time?

Thanks again,

Oh Yeah GO RAMS!

[BernieM]

Re: ASK BERNIE: A new ClanRam exclusive!

Hey Bernie,

This is great, thanks for allowing us the opportunity to take advantage of your wisdom.

I have one question:

I'm not surprised that "Gamkon Sado" made the team but keeping Darby over Pittman was a bit of a shock. What happened to Pittman I thought he was going to be our #2 back for a long time?

Thanks again,

Oh Yeah GO RAMS!

I think the problem with Pittman is that he wasn't viewed as a "four pillars" kind of guy. If you recall, when he was with Tampa he had an incident in which he rammed his wife's car with his SUV. Not the kind of behavior that Spags is looking for. As for Sado, I think he has a chance of being one of the 2 or 3 best running backs on this team.

[maineram]

Re: ASK BERNIE: A new ClanRam exclusive!

Where DO you get your "INSIDE" info ???

Just askin,

Maine -

[BernieM]

Re: ASK BERNIE: A new ClanRam exclusive!

Where DO you get your "INSIDE" info ???

Just askin,

Maine -

Well, as you can probably imagine, I'm not at liberty to reveal my sources entirely. Often times, I have to use my vast experience to discern what is really going on.

For instance, you may recall that during the offseason I described Spagnuolo as being "uptight." My source for that information was Glenn Matthews, the Rams janitor. He told me that he had found wrappers from nearly a dozen Subway double-meat roast beef foot longs in the Rams conference room's garbage can. That's where my knowledge base comes in. You see, I happen to know from experience that Spagnuolo is a big roast beef fan. Couple that with the fact that everyone binge eats when they are anxious (I know I do!), and it was clear that Spagnuolo was having a tough time in his new job.

That's the kind of insight you get only from me.

[maineram]

Re: ASK BERNIE: A new ClanRam exclusive!

So basically your getting eating tips from the janitor who then recommends the right garbage can for your afternoon meal ???

Nice thinking Bernie !!

Maine -

[RamFan_Til_I_Die]

Re: ASK BERNIE: A new ClanRam exclusive!

So Bernie, I hear you're quite the stud in the St Louis night club scene. Which is your favorite tranny bar you go to? And is it true you once played Pat in the esteemed "It's Pat" skit in SNL?

[Azul e Oro]

Re: ASK BERNIE: A new ClanRam exclusive!

Bernie,

Internet buzz going around that you used to date Tila Tequila & recently sold her some bogus Viagra you got from Trent Green.
Comment?

PS What does the "M" in BernieM stand for?

[BernieM]

Re: ASK BERNIE: A new ClanRam exclusive!

So Bernie, I hear you're quite the stud in the St Louis night club scene. Which is your favorite tranny bar you go to? And is it true you once played Pat in the esteemed "It's Pat" skit in SNL?

Wow, I'm not sure where you get your information.

Mother does not let me go out to clubs. She says that's where the "bad people" go and I should avoid those places. For me, the perfect night involves reruns of The Nanny, followed by a warm glass of Postum and a few verses from the Good Book (Curious George).

As for SNL, you're half right. I was on that show, but I played the Land Shark.

[BernieM]

Re: ASK BERNIE: A new ClanRam exclusive!

Bernie,

Internet buzz going around that you used to date Tila Tequila & recently sold her some bogus Viagra you got from Trent Green.
Comment?

PS What does the "M" in BernieM stand for?

Tila and I go way back. I first met her in the DeVry College School for Marginal Celebrities. She was a nice kid. These days, I worry about her. The other night, I went over to see her at her boyfriend's house. She seemed to have a bad cold, as her eyes were bloodshot and she kept sniffling. I gave her a pint of Nyquil, and then realized that the correct dosage for her might be a little less than what my doctor said I should take. Anyway, apparently there was some sort of incident after I left, but I don't know too much about that.

As for the "M," it stands for my last name, of course.

[jjigga3000]

Re: ASK BERNIE: A new ClanRam exclusive!

Hey Bernie,

I think that the Rams moving to L.A. is a real threat, of course for me it wouldn't be a threat, since I'm an original L.A. Rams fan. Anyhow how do you see this playing out.

[BernieM]

Re: ASK BERNIE: A new ClanRam exclusive!

Hey Bernie,

I think that the Rams moving to L.A. is a real threat, of course for me it wouldn't be a threat, since I'm an original L.A. Rams fan. Anyhow how do you see this playing out.

Do you really think that Louisiana can support two NFL franchises? They can barely sell out the Saints games. And where would the team play... Baton Rouge? The Baton Rouge Rams? Ugh! That sounds awful.

[Azul e Oro]

Re: ASK BERNIE: A new ClanRam exclusive!

Tila and I go way back. I first met her in the DeVry College School for Marginal Celebrities. She was a nice kid. These days, I worry about her. The other night, I went over to see her at her boyfriend's house. She seemed to have a bad cold, as her eyes were bloodshot and she kept sniffling. I gave her a pint of Nyquil, and then realized that the correct dosage for her might be a little less than what my doctor said I should take. Anyway, apparently there was some sort of incident after I left, but I don't know too much about that.

As for the "M," it stands for my last name, of course.

There's no substitute for a gud edumakation or a pint of Nyquil, I always say.I like the red one...mmmmm...cherry.

Huh...and there I was thinking "Mendacious"...or "Muttonhead" or "Misinformer".

[Tampa_Ram]

Re: ASK BERNIE: A new ClanRam exclusive!

which wr's out the do u think have the greatest chance of being a ram soo to thicken our depth? and also, do u think Burton can be a good #3?
ty-go rams!!!

[BernieM]

Re: ASK BERNIE: A new ClanRam exclusive!

which wr's out the do u think have the greatest chance of being a ram soo to thicken our depth? and also, do u think Burton can be a good #3?
ty-go rams!!!

I read somewhere that Ricky Proehl, Dane Looker, Az Hakim and Drew Bennet are all unsigned. I think the Rams should look at those guys. As for Burton, did you know that his name spelled backwards is "not rub," as in, "Bernie, do not rub that!" Mother used to say that to me all the time.

Wait... what was the question?